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    #getting away #Escape

    I am lucky. My parents are housebound, and my mom has dementia. I have claustrophobia and PTSD but can get out and away from the "normal world". Working from home has been hard but i enjoy drives like I did Sunday. See new things. I think it hrlps me feel less trapped in my own mind. #Trapped

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    Off to cook #getting cool too cool

    God please give me the strength to cook a warm 🥘


    #getting weak handling family members in #Depression

    Hi I am new here. I just wanted to vent my feelings out. I just feel exhausted and tired handling two of my family members who are dealing with bipolar and depression. I am 26 now and dealing it since a kid. It is so difficult to handle them without letting it hurt myself. I don’t understand what to do now. I don’t feel like giving up as they are my family. It’s really mentally exhausting now.


    #getting Ready #

    #well I had a fairly good day,and I wish that every body has as good ,as it can be for these thoughts are with the families just trying to get through this Christmas for there kids.I hope and pray that the politicians will be thanking of them to , while they have lovely homes and food on the table # That the 600.00 they want to give needy family’s is not even enough for rent ,food ,medicine ,#what are the parents Suppose to tell there kids that Christmas is not coming ,this while they are being evicted because they lost there jobs through no fault of there own because of this pandemic. I hope that at least are Government can give these families the 2000.00 that will actually help them, when they go to vote tomorrow.That they see ,and ,know what is happening to these families and that they show some compassion and help the people that put them in Office #


    #getting Past the Trauma of the Law and Life

    I have bipolar, and I've been fortunate - very fortunate - to have been hospitalized once before in 2005. I live in a sleeply little town in a sleepy little corner where I live quietly with my Mom, four cats, snake and lizard.

    In the beginning of June, I got a horrible case of stomach flu. I apparently stopped eating and drinking and became lithium toxic. I also threatened my life, which Baker Acted me.

    For the first few days I was in my local hospital, in a private room with a Mental Health sitter in the room at all times. I could barely walk and had no clear idea of what happened. I had several problems. The kidneys were at 15% when I was admitted, a UTI, and more. I was also under a psychiatrist's care (though not my psychiatrist).

    After I was well enough, I was transferred to a psychiatric hospital an hour and a half away from where I live. But I was ready to get the help I needed. After all, I did threaten myself and I can always learn coping skills.

    I was not expecting the screaming, yelling, trying to throw things, etc. If I wasn't with a group, I was in my room hiding. I spoke to the first therapist I could.

    I should point out, before I go on that I myself had no problems with the staff and they did a very good job.

    Here's what really affected me and makes my heart hurt whenever it crosses my mind (which is a lot). When I got on the ward there was a young man there. He participated in groups, played three instruments, wrote music. He seemed to have everything going for him. He was released by lunch. He exchanged numbers with a couple of other patients, I wished him the best and fist bumped him. The young man with the floppy, curly hair was back to getting where he should be. I was so happy for him.

    Later that evening a patient mentioned that he had been "pulled out of the garage bay." She was in the hospital when he was released so though I was startled, I chose not to pay attention...until no less than three employees walked by my room sharing more details.

    I don't have a shield to protect me. Everybody has value to me. I only knew this boy briefly, but he touched me. To hear his death talked about so callously is on rewind in my mind. I can't comprehend it. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm also really that naive

    I know that there is no way someone could work in a psychiatric setting and not have a profound and deep respect for people and values all life. That even if he was released, he could have been suicidal. Neither comforts me.

    I did tell my psychiatrist and he explained what could've happened. Again... didn't really do anything

    I apologize for the length, but does anyone have any advice on how I can reconcile this young man's death and put his spirit - and mine - at peace?

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    So many flowers # I cannot get to contact anyone:-(

    Think I will try to see if any mail came and will have to wait until the Super Store opens and it will not be any time soon :-(((#getting nowhere so will call a local small Camera shop to see if they have any ideas:-)))


    Persistence Pays. #Fibromyalgia #getting answers

    For years the pain has been with me, slowly getting worse. The doctors always ask when it started, but that's a hard question to answer, especially when everyone around acts incredulous if you mention how long you think it's been. People wonder why you didn't say something before if it hurt so bad. I did say something. And the people in my life said I was fat, if I lost wait it would stop hurting. If I was more active it would stop hurting (I'm not active because it hurts, but they wouldn't believe that was the order). Doctors always blamed my weight, or thought I was exaggerating, I guess. They'd test for some things (lupus, carpal tunnel) then foo foo me when those tests were negative. Just lose weight. I was losing weight. The pain was getting worse fast. I told all my doctors about the pain, every new physician or specialist i saw. It took a hematologist I was sent to for snother issue to take my pain really seriously. He said I was too young to have that kind of pain no matter how sedentary I was. He said my weight shouldn't cause my pain either. He recommended I see a rheumatologist, and after years of no answers for this terrible pain, it at least had a name. Fibromyalgia. That was last year. I'm still learning about it. But just naming the pain is a great feeling, mentally. I still have awful pain sometimes. A lot of times if I can't keep my mind busy. But I know there's a reason.


    How i feel

    I just started using this website and its awesome, but everyone who knows me doesn't really know me anymore, they think I'm crazy and I hate being like this. So I thought if I could text or talk to a therapist without actually looking at them ( or them looking at me) I would feel a lot better. So if anyone is reading this and you're like me ( anger issues, depression, trust issues) they could you please tell how to talk to someone without out actually seeing them, like a texting thing or something. No phone calls. Thank you #getting


    great husband #

    My husband of 49 yrs has become my caregiver. He is not well himself but he does his very best. He is learning how to cook. we don’t starve. I am feeling some what better. on good days I cook and straighten up. we do have a cleaning lady. he does wait on me when needed. he knows how I am feeling without me telling him. I don’t drive because of my vertigo. I was diagnosed a year ago. we are getting used to our new normal. I have days when I am really grumpy and he just carries on. he says he will take care of me as long as he can. love that man. #wonderful husband #getting used to our new normal