nursing

Does anyone who is a nurse have any support on becoming a nurse with a chronic illness and how to navigate everything

As a disclaimer, I am a nurse.

Today it is unclear whether I made a medication error with narcotics or not because I did not do a count on the evening shift the day before. So when I did my count this morning the count of the medications was thrown off.

I reported it to my operations manager after talking with the counsellor who also handed out medications that night. In this facility counsellors are required to hand out medications. The operations manager was saying that we should fill out the incident report but the counsellor argued saying that the system glitches all the time (which is true) and the operations manager is aware of this issue. Head office is also aware of the glitches in the system.

How do I feel? I feel like crap.

This is the second error that I have made in this facility and I don’t know what more I can do to concentrate when I am working. It seems like when I am doing tasks I am interested in I can concentrate and my back does not hurt. As soon as I step into work I pray to God the day ends quickly and I feel a huge grey cloud until the shift is over. I have tried bringing in a diffuser and essential oils to calm my nerves because without it, I find myself getting short with people. Maybe it’s my negativity that has been causing these errors over and over. I have made so many in my two years of nursing. Any CNO representative would have suspended my license. I have just been blessed I have not been formally reported.

I don’t know how to survive in this profession. Could you believe even verbal simple orders I manage to screw up on? I don’t know what else to do. I am so ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of where I am now. Another day, another medication error. And then, I just think about all the other tasks I try to do that I am interested in. Of course mistakes happen, but am I able to fix them, I am happy to learn from the mistakes because I know I want to do better. It’s probably because the mistakes aren’t life or death mistakes. It’s probably because the responsibility is not nearly as heavy.

This whole life and death thing with nursing was something I really should have thought about before I allowed my parents to control my life. All I can do is blame myself for screwing up my life. Who knows if I will have a license after today? Who knows if I will be brought under investigation? I’m not good at this job, I make too many mistakes. It’s not fair to the people I need to care for. It shouldn’t be their fault if I never wanted to do nursing in the first place and I am a bad nurse. I feel horrible.

As for the apartment hunting I have decided to get a car instead. However because of this new medication error who knows if I will have a job at the end of the week.

I used the STOP technique to drive home today so I could pay attention to my surroundings. I was shaking the whole way home. Then I felt really low but tried to hold it together for the sake of my safety #Nursing #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Have you ever considered a career in nursing? This coloring book includes illustrations of nurses with a wide variety of disabilities.https://smile.amazon.com/nurse-Donna-Carol-Maheady-APRN/dp/107519606X/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=color+me+exceptional&qid=1564146932&s=books&sr=1-1

Anyone else in this situation at a young agw willing to have a conversation and swap coping tips? I have a neurological disability, unconteolled chronic pain even with CD drugs, bladder incontinance, an ostomy, short gut syndrome, anxiety and depression, also a zest for life, a love of books and people in that order,... And a grumpy Scotrltish temperament! keen to talk to others in similar situation.
#carehome #Nursing #Pain #BladderIncontinence #Stoma
#CheckInWithMe

#CheerMeOn #College #Drexel University #Nursing school #Nursingstudent