Panic Attacks

I have had depression since I was 12 but no one acknowledged it because i was young and hitting puberty so they blamed it on that. That was until I got really sick last year. My eating disorder started 2-3 years ago and because it was untreated I developed anxiety last year. It started with stomach pain on April and went to the hospital for a week but i got no results. On August after my 17th Birthday it hit me. I felt nauseous constantly, I was shaking all the time, threw up, didnt eat, stomach pain etc. At first I was at the hospital because of my health and they had to check it has nothing to do with my physical health. I spent several weeks in diferent hospitals until October.

They gave me temporary medicine which barley helped and I still had panic attacks etc. I will post another Story about my traumas detailed since I know a lot of people struggle with similar stories. After I finally got therapy once a month they gave me Setraline which made me feel way better but I still didnt feel like myself. I was then sent to the mental hospital and stayed there for a month (daycare). Since I was still a student I had to do internships so I choose the animal shelter for a week because animals are therapy (at least for me) after that I had another internship at the hospital because I wanted to help people the way I wanted to be helped.

While I was sick in 2025 I was at my lowest and I was sure I had no future. I was so isolated I did not feel alive anymore. I used to hurt myself and had suicidal thoughts almost every day because I was done surviving and I just wanted it to end. I was trapped with my mental health and it was eating me alive. I was in bed all the time. The daycare and interships got me out of bed and yes it was hard at first but it got me back on my feet. Thats the push I needed to get better. I started to apply for my dream job at a law firm and got accepted a few months later. I am so proud to say that recovery is possible and that it will always get better it just takes time.

I am now feeling so so so much better I cant believe it. My scars are proof that I am stronger than ever because I am now working for one of the biggest law firms international and the biggest in Germany. I got my semicolon tatooed, it is small but it has a huge meaning. I am still taking Setraline and I am writing this because I want to encourage and help people recover. I know its difficult but it will get better i promise. I will post much more tips and stories about me. It is so important to me to help people because mental health matters!!!!

I am new to this app and im not sure if you can private message here but if anyone just needs advice, a listener or even just someone to not feel alone I will try my best to help. I dont want to act like a wannabe therapist. I want to be a friend who understands and been through the same

Please take care of yourself and stay safe out there.

#MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #AnorexiaNervosa #Anorexia #EatingDisorder #BingeEatingDisorder #Depression #SelfharmRecovery #EatingDisorderRecovery #Recovery #PTSD

Part of me often wonders if this constant ruminating is OCD. It isn't just rumination, it's also intrusive thoughts and images just constantly popping up that don't feel like my mind. Which causes anxiety to the point I've had anxiety attacks and panic attacks because of it.

At one point, a second opinion psychiatrist told me "OCD doesn't just have to be outward rituals and compulsions. You can have them more internally. I do think you seem to have OCD."

Which it was nice to be listened to for once. Every time I would bring up possibly having OCD. The mental health professionals would say I didn't because I didn't do outward compulsions or rituals.

My current psychiatrist is pretty good. I may show him that paperwork if I can find it. Where the psychiatrist has it listed.

Hopefully he listens. Because he might just say "Oh that's just your Autism."

I know with Autism you can ruminate too. But this feels like more than that.
#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Anxiety #MentalHealth

My mom passed away about a year ago. Even as a child, I knew she wouldn't live long because she was an alcoholic. I thought I was prepared for losing her, but her death still hit me suddenly. I loved her so much, even though I couldn't be a child around her. I was angry at her for not seeing how amazing she was, and for not doing anything to stay alive. For a few months after her death, I tried to numb my feelings with drugs. Then I stopped everything and went into a depressive period that lasted half a year. As time passed, I got a little better, but I was still just a shadow of myself. It felt like a heavy blanket was on me, keeping me from getting up. About a year after her death, when I felt like I was doing pretty well, I started having panic attacks out of nowhere. I didn't understand why this was happening to me I thought I was having a heart attack. I called an ambulance, and after examining me the paramedic asked if someone close to me had died recently. He explained that this can happen during grief. The only thing I find strange is that it happened right when I was finally feeling okay. Has anyone else been through something similar? #Grief #PanicAttacks #Depression