quietbpd

Hi, my name is EmpoweringBluebird1. I'm here because

#quietbpd #PTSD

Heyy i suffet from quiet bpd and the feeling of chronic emptiness has always been a huge part of my life. Does anybody have some tips, how I could overcome the emptiness?🫶🏻 #quietbpd

I stand very firmly when I have new people prominent in my life especially a new fp, that you don’t have to validate my actions to validate my feelings. I’m also autistic along quiet bpd, today my fp gave me a sad tone when I asked for soemthing so I badgered about what was wrong. They dismissed me and I communicated that made me sad and it made me feel bad. They proceeded to argue saying I was policing them which annoyed me. I told them it hurt me and they dismissed again. I then said I’d put my seatbelt back on if they apologized for invalidating my feelings, wether intentional or not. And they responded with “some feelings just aren’t valid” I know they were referring to me getting so worked up over just the sad tone. But tone is how I interpret everything even if you say something good in an angry tone I will perceive it as anger. I did my best to communicate healthily but then they said that and I splashed my water at them. They told me I belong in patient and instead I’ve been waking up angry every morning which I haven’t been angry not til a little later in the day. I don’t know how to communicate how they hurt me. They usually don’t react like that. Any suggestions? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #quietbpd #FavoritePerson

Is it frowned upon to ask a counselor about the possibility of a diagnosis or their thoughts on you having a disorder? She may already be leaning that way but I've had concerns about it for the past year. I relate to every symptom and people's descriptions of their experiences with it. Idk if it's worth it to ask or if I'll seem ignorant for doing so. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #quietborderline #quietbpd

The emotional intensity of these just hands my ass too me. All of a sudden everything feels wrong I am angry, sad, scared with such intensity that I’m bombarded with intrusive thoughts of ending things, between floods of tears or flashes of rage depending on the tone of the snap, I sit crying with intrusive thoughts of self-harm and suicide that I just have to fight not to act on.

The emotions are so intense they control my mind, I get caught in thought loops, “make them break up with you so you can die without hurting anyone” - I am AWARE that these emotions are too intense, and I’m aware my thoughts are irrational but the emotional intensity and mental scrambling is at such intensity I can’t pull myself out of it. Unless I self-harm, which I don’t do. So it lasts, 4,5,6 - 9 hours.

I watch it and slowly try to pick my emotions apart. Draw them write them, call a helpline and talk. Try to get to the core of this tangled knot of emotional bullshit. I feel shame for the thoughts and feelings I have in that state which are hard to recover from. And the intensity of the experience is such that I _feel_like_ I did the things I only thought and felt.

Too other people it looks like I go from normal to a broken mess in half a day, they don’t understand because I can’t explain. I can’t explain because of the shame, because I’m aware how crazy the experience is. So I just keep it inside, try to forgive myself and keep being a good person to the people around me. Xx #TriggerWarnings #emotionalinstability #Selfharm #quietbpd #SuicidalIdeation

Does anyone know a god way how to get across how you’re feeling and what you’re going through with quiet body? I find that the people who know I have bpd struggle to get it because my symptoms aren’t so outward and they’ve read about the typical bpd portrayals. Just wish there was a way to get across how much pain and torment it can be having this illness #quietbpd #BPD #struggling #MentalIllness