Sometimes, when a life event is too much, like when it is very personally offensive, I want to handle it more maturely. Provide building blocks plz..
I recently experienced a traumatic event. I was offended, I got very angry and it was justifiable, but not productive. It made things worse. I blindly spouted off anything that came to mind because I was scared, felt exposed and defenseless. I demanded that my offender see things my way. This is fine in rare circumstances, but not here. I want to defend myself when offended but in a more controlled manner that keeps me rational enough to not dig myself a deeper hole.
In those moments where we are confronted with an opinion that is seemingly designed to offend on purpose, I get a large dose of adrenaline. I don't see a way to 'just accept that life is really, really hard for some of us' and go about my day without giving it more power than it deserves. I do not have a picture of how to react. My picture is just a blank canvas and that's when I go on the offensive.
Does anyone here have any insight on how to develop a picture for my minds eye to mitigate some of that rage with intellect?
I realize that no two pictures would be the same so I am seeking input on the steps and considerations and whatever else you got that helps you successfully navigate very offensive life events without making it worse for yourself. For most people I think they just do it instinctively, but I'm not part of the group.