I often feel alone though I try very hard to make friends and keep them. Many times I go out of my way for others. These people many times do little to reciprocate. Many times I feel some people take my overtures for granted. I feel they just expect me to do things. And I know or I think I know a big reason for their lack of desire in doing things for me in return is because of my anxiety.
Then there are those who really don’t seem to mind my anxiety. These people many times I can’t handle being around without getting upset by what I see as rudeness or lack of respect. I am very sensitive to their behaviors though many times they mean no harm. But, still, I am affected.
Though married, many times my husband does his own thing. I think he does the best he can. He feels he helps me by being a good provider. He stays to himself because I think that is the way he is happiest and also it is hard for him to talk at times. I know listening to me can be taxing. We did a lot of talking when we dated . But, fast forward to now- it rarely happens.
So, I light candles and listen to soft music when I feel alone. It helps me to find peace. And offers me the calm being around good friends used to when I was younger- when I did not have the issues I do now.