Relationships

Here are some journal prompts to help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself:

# Self-Discovery

1. What are my core values, and how do they align with my current life choices?

2. What are some common themes or patterns that emerge in my relationships, career, or daily life?

3. What are my strengths and weaknesses, and how can I leverage them to achieve my goals?

# Emotional Intelligence

1. What emotions do I struggle with the most, and how can I develop healthier coping mechanisms?

2. How do I typically respond to stress, conflict, or change?

3. What self-care practices can I incorporate into my daily routine to improve my emotional well-being?

# Personal Growth

1. What are some limiting beliefs or negative self-talk patterns that hold me back?

2. What are my long-term goals, and what small steps can I take today to move closer to achieving them?

3. What skills or knowledge do I want to acquire to enhance my personal or professional growth?

# Mindfulness and Presence

1. What are some things I'm grateful for in my life right now?

2. How can I cultivate more mindfulness and presence in my daily activities?

3. What would I do if I weren't afraid of failure or judgment?

# Exploring Your Past

1. What are some significant events or experiences from my past that have shaped me into the person I am today?

2. How have my relationships with family, friends, or romantic partners influenced my sense of self?

3. What are some unresolved issues or unfinished business from my past that I'd like to address?

# Envisioning Your Future

1. What does my ideal life look like 5-10 years from now?

2. What steps can I take to align my current life with my future vision?

3. What kind of person do I want to become, and what qualities do I want to develop?

Remember, journaling is a personal and individual experience. Feel free to modify or abandon these prompts as you see fit. The most important thing is to show up with an open and honest heart, and allow yourself to explore your thoughts, feelings, and desires.

Good morning. I am new here. A little about me just to give context. By the time I was 5, I had been abandoned by my bio mom and neglected/abused by a stepmom. My earliest self concept was unloved, unworthy, unwanted. Further abuse, including sexual abuse, and extreme bullying in school led to fantasizing about dying by the time I was 12. Escaped to a foster home, which wasn't much better by the time I was 15 and graduated high school and married at 17. I lived in hypervigilence and looping emotional pain and only got worth from doing for others or excelling at work or other activities. At the age of 21 I came to know Jesus through extraordinary circumstances (had a child who nearly died after birth and extreme life-saving methods kept him alive until he received a miracle). That was 1991, over the years, very slowly, some of the results of trauma began to be worked out (rage, control issues, self worth, etc) through relationship with Jesus and other christians. I became a leader in our church, and for the first time began to see purpose for my life. Looking back, I see how emotionaly dysregulation, insecurities and perfectionism poisoned many of my relationships and things I did. I was not aware of these things, I had come so far from the way I was and was actually helping people. Not having any other template to evaluate by, I thought I was well. After selling our dream home, which I designed and helped build (I was the gen contractor and did much of the finish work myself), selling/giving away most of our worldly belongings and moving out of country to work with a ministry overseen and supported by our church, we were abruptly pulled from the mission field by church leadership, citing the danger from cartel activity going on in our area. When we got back to the US, we were confronted witha laundry list of errors or offenses comitted during our time and learned that's why we were pulled. In context, we knew there were problems with the leadership there, as they stopped including us in anything outside ministry activity and brought a list of complaints to the pastor, who called us to a meeting earlier in the year and came down very hard on us. We humbled ourselves, saw the error of our ways (actually, my ways - the leader said he had no problem with my husband) and set about making things right. Several months later, we were pulled with no discussion. The leaders we were directly under NEVER sat down with us or talked to us about what offended or upset them. At this point, emotionally I feel like I've been flung 40 years back to - unworthy, unwanted and unloved. It pains me to go to church, as I did as I was told and sent out a final newsletter stating that we were being pulled due to danger - not true. The church just sent 2 others to the same place to help with an outreach, so it's obvious that wasn't the case. Also, we still have many friends there who tell us we can come home, there's no reason to stay away. I am disgraced, with no remedy. This is an extreme life upheaval, we adapted as best as we could in the short 16 mos we were there to the culture and the life - we feel like a square peg in a round hole. This feels like it did in grade school - nothing I can do or say will change that I am a failure and unacceptable. It's just over and I have no purpose. I just sit at home and wait for my husband to come home from work - he had to come out of retirement for us to afford living in the US. So he is suffering for my errors. I just don't understand how, after 33 years of knowing the Lord, over 20 years of being a serious student of the Word, finding identity in Christ as daughter of God, His workmanship, fearfully and wonderfully made, loved, made righteous through the cross, etc., how do I still have personality and character defects that I'm blind to? My meditations and prayers in the months before we were pulled, in the wake of being corrected, were Mat. 11:28-30; Phil 2:3-8; Rom 8:29; and many Proverbs about the tongue and purposing to only speak with love and to only speak with purpose. Not saying I was doing those things perfectly, saying that that's where my head/heart were. I know God has not rejected/ abandoned me, but it has been hard to be intimate with Him as I feel thrown away. I served the same ministry in every way I could for almost 30 years and I just feel very disposable. In my pastor's defense, I see over the years how it was difficult for her to correct me, as I would often be defensive or emotionally dysregulated when she would try to correct me. So I am not blaming her, I am just saying that I've been as sincere in my relationship with the Lord as I know to be, I forgave (earnestly) those who abused me (we all have good relationships today and I see how their own abuse backgrounds led to where they were) and there's absolutely no trigger in those relationships. I can see areas I needed to relinquish control or to trust in that I didn't - fear driven decisions. How does one with so much damage get to the place where the healing provided to us through the cross changes the subconscious, background issues that still affect life today? For the first time in decades, I feel hopeless.

Hi, my name is Lissounette. I'm here because of trauma surrounding relationships that makes me terrified of letting people in. I want to go beyond what my survival instinct has put in place after that trauma, and relearn that people are not threats.

#MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma