Relationships

I’ve been so busy at work (high school teacher) that I haven’t been able to think about what he’s been doing.

I still sometimes check his social media (even though I don’t follow any of it). He was asking a question on one of his pages for travel advice. I felt fear.

I am trying to sit with my feeling. Of being scared. I think I feel forgotten, even though it’s been months. Soon, a year.

We are likely both going to go back to school soon for advanced degrees. I am scared of that too. I do think a part of me misses the security I had in a partnership and the stability of a relationship.

I’m not having the best time at my job and it’s hard to fight through those feelings too. But I think being scared is where I’m at now. Not sure how to hold this and try to keep walking.

#breakup #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Teacher

I saw a video recently where two people were talking about this topic and they blamed it solely on drugs, alcohol, smoking and bad choices, this is wrong, and a misunderstanding, It is mainly driven by our struggles with executive dysfunctions that permeate every area of life in a world designed for neurotypicals that have high executive functioning.

I want to talk about a topic that is very close to me. My aunt died in her sixties, aside from other health problems, the circumstance I believe were due to undiagnosed ADHD and lack of support, a lot of misunderstanding and a lot of judgements around her leading to critical isolation and preventable early death.

I made a good friend in the pandemic that I believe also was an undiagnosed ADHD woman in her late forties who died in similar circumstances that could have been prevented and mitigated due to the following 5 issues that ADHD people struggle with.

5 Reasons Why ADHD People Have a Shorter Life Span than Neurotypicals

Studies suggest that individuals with ADHD may have a shorter life expectancy compared to neurotypical individuals, primarily due to increased risks related to accidents, impulsivity, substance abuse, and health complications. Research indicates that:

On average, people with ADHD may live 8 to 13 years less than neurotypical individuals.

A 2019 study by Dr. Russell Barkley found that severe ADHD cases might reduce lifespan by up to 25 years in extreme cases due to poor self-regulation, increased stress, and unhealthy lifestyle choices.

The biggest contributing factors are higher rates of accidental injuries, risk-taking behaviors, obesity, and untreated mental health conditions.

However, proper diagnosis, treatment, and lifestyle changes (such as therapy, medication, exercise, and structured routines) can help mitigate these risks and improve longevity.

Would you like strategies to help improve life expectancy and health outcomes for ADHD?

Why Do ADHD Adults Have a Shorter Lifespan?

1. Executive Dysfunction & Life Management Struggles

Difficulty maintaining a livable environment (clutter, unsafe conditions).

Forgetting to eat properly or drink enough water.

Inconsistent hygiene and self-care routines.

Poor financial management leading to stress and instability.

Forgetting or mismanaging medication, missing doctor appointments.

2. Higher Risk of Accidents & Injuries

Impulsivity increases risk-taking behavior (reckless driving, not wearing seatbelts, unsafe sex, etc.).

Forgetfulness and inattention can lead to accidents, fires, injuries.

Difficulty following through on preventive health care (checkups, screenings,).

3. Chronic Stress, Burnout, & Mental Health Issues

ADHD is often accompanied by anxiety, depression, and emotional dysregulation.

Difficulty managing stress leads to higher cortisol levels, which contribute to heart disease and other health issues.

Overwhelm and burnout reduce motivation to take care of oneself.

4. Social Isolation & Support Gaps

Struggles with maintaining friendships and relationships.

Lack of a strong support system, which affects mental health.

Social rejection leads to loneliness, which increases mortality risk.

5. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Higher likelihood of using alcohol, smoking, drugs, or food to self-soothe.

Irregular sleep patterns and chronic sleep deprivation (which increases risk of cardiovascular disease, obesity, and diabetes).

Is It Just Poor Choices? No—It’s a Systemic Issue.

It’s not just about making "bad choices"; it’s about living in a world that isn’t designed for ADHD brains. Neurotypical life requires strong executive functioning, which ADHD people struggle with. This leads to constant small failures (missed bills, health neglect, disorganization), which add up over time and take a toll on both physical and mental health.

What Can Help?

Externalized systems: Reminders, alarms, habit trackers, accountability partners.

Simplified self-care: Small, sustainable habits instead of all-or-nothing thinking.

ADHD-friendly financial management: Automated payments, budgeting apps, financial therapy.

Preventative healthcare: Setting appointments in advance, pairing medication with daily habits.

Community & support: Finding ADHD-friendly groups like The Mighty, find an ADHD check in buddy, coaching, therapy, and social connections.

Would you say your struggles fall mostly in one category, or is it a mix of everything?

Finally, I got to write the last part!

beyonddeaf-inition.blogspot.com/2025/03/a-letter-to-my-ex-p2.html

#Depression #breakup #Relationships

I tried getting up earlier than I normally do since I'm unemployed. I was able to start my day earlier but its hard to be "proud" of myself because I didn't do much throughout the day. I was, however, able to make an appointment to see a doctor and hopefully see an endocrinologist about my thyroid. (I might also talk about antidepressants). I was also called today for another job interview. They called today and I had the interview today. During the short call I didn't get a good "vibe" but I went anyways. I seriously thought I dont want this job, but I was going to at least get more experience with interviewing. I noticed I was starting to judge the people at the office very harshly and I don't like that about myself. At the end, I left thinking I would feel good working there if I am hired.
I also went to the dog park by myself. I noticed that one of the reasons I'm walking away from this relationship is because I feel so lonely. I'm still here living with him and I brought up going to the dog park like I have other times and he obviously didn't want to go. So I said f*** it, i need to go alone. I'm glad I pushed myself to go alone. I felt sad and lonely but i know I just have to learn to be okay with being alone.

(Clearly I'm using this space as a journal so sorry for the long posts)