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    Stuck in a rut #Depression #Fibromyalgia #COVID19

    I had COVID about three weeks ago now and I’m back at work but I’m losing my energy and I am a caregiver which is not good, I need my strength and energy to do my job. I’m taking all the supplements you should be taking but nothing is bringing it back up. I had to take work off yesterday because I had no strength at all and my client that day needed me to have strength to lift and support her so for safety I called off and slept all day till 530pm.
    My insurance doesn’t cover my antidepressant so I’m out of that and been off of it for a few days now. I’m starting the withdrawals and it’s not fun. The depression is just hitting me like a wave.

    Im just here to vent and talk to people I know will understand. Thanks for reading. #Roughday

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    Today has been a #Roughday . Not just for me.. but, my kids. We buried my Bampi (grandpa) because #neglect in a #hospitalexposed him and he had #noimmunesystem . Instead of him getting help and coming home to turn 81... he ended up in #Hospice and #lost before his birthday in October... dying younger than his mom did.
    This man helped my Nanny (grandma) raise me. We weren't the closest... but, he was #theonlyconsistentmaleinmylife , besides my Uncle.
    My oldest was #connectedtohiship and is #nowlost . He is a #sensorykid and an #empath . He knew something was not right way before I told the kids.
    Try explaining to a 3yo that wants to give Bampi hugs and kisses knowing he likely doesn't feel well because of dialysis or sugar issues and just want to love on him to make him feel better. #Tryexplaining to him why he can't do any of those things, or see him any more, because simply saying he is taking a peaceful long nap doesn't work.
    Hearing a 7yo #specialboy wanting to bring his camera along the ride. Sure. Then, when we get to the funeral, #ithithomehard . He left his camera in the car. Later, while I am trying to explain to the 3yo why he can't see Bampi and that he is napping... the 7yo chimes in... and because he is dead. This is why I left my camera in the car. I wanted to take a picture with him and show him my camera. 💯💔🥺😭
    Sometimes... #realitysucks .
    #UntilWeMeetAgain #reincarnationexisits

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    Sorry for all the post today.

    Trying to keep busy, so I baked some banana muffins and scrubbed the kitchen floors.
    #Depression #Anxiety #CPTSD #PTSD #Roughday


    Today is hard #Roughday

    It was hard to get out of bed today. Pain is high and meds are making me drowsy and dizzy. I have to go to work and put on a smile and fake it. Need a hug!


    Unable to push through

    Having an extremely rough day. Don't even have the energy to make something to eat. But yet I have to go to work for a couple hours tonight. Trying to figure out how I'm going to make something to eat and work on some dishes. But my spoonie level is really low. An atom of the fact that I live on the second floor in apartment building is not helping. Having to do a voice typing today because I'm in so much pain.

    #Spoonie #Roughday


    Rough Day

    It's been a #Roughday with my #BackPain I've been #workingfromhome , and I'm not used to it. My back is so compressed. I've gone on the inversion table many times. Stretched out my back and pushed on my SI joint to cause an adjustment. Still don't feel the relief I'm trying to get. Rough done. Not getting any work done :(



    So... I'm not okay. I'm honestly barely hanging on, and every day that the virus spreads and I have to be in self-quarantine, that grip slips just a little more. And I know I'm not alone in this. I know we are all struggling to hold on, to keep going and be strong. And I usually am a decent pillar of strength, should anyone need to borrow some. But today, instead of a pillar, I feel like a toothpick. I'm gonna need to borrow some strength and support from whomever is willing to share. Please, help me get through today. Thank you in advance. ❤️ #CheckInWithMe #Roughday #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #needhelp #badmentalhealthday