saddness

♡ " So As Alot Of You Know From My Post's... That I Was A Mother.. And Lost A Baby.. I Have Recurring Nightmare's Every Year When His Anniversary Is Here... The Memorie's Of Losing A Tiny Little Human Being... On Replay... I'm In No Mood To Work Tomarrow... But I Have To Act Happy And Get It Over With... And Just Fake It Till I End My Shift... I Didn't Go Into Work Today Because I Had Nightmare's... And Pain In My Lower Back And Hip's And Ankle's... I'm So Miserable... And Sad Right Now... I Just Want To Curl Up In A Stuffed Animal Or Fleece Blanket... I Have Sat Off... " ♡ #heartbreak #exhusted ●▪︎○S.K.○▪︎●

° " So Lastnight I Texted My Sister... Out Of The Blue I Told Her That I Missed Her... And Her Response Was To Me... Very Negative... She Was Like Are You Ok?? ARE YOU DRUNK TEXTING ME... Um Wth I Said No That I'm Sober Thank You! This Is Why I Really Can't Communicate With Anyone Anymore... They Litterly Make Me Feel Like I Don't Matter Or Exist's... It's A Huge Struggle For Me To Stay Close With Any Of My Sibling's... And Then I Told Her That I Was Just Trying To Call Just To Say Hello... That's It.. And Then They Wonder Why I Distance Myself From All Of Them... " ° #saddness #Intrusive Thought's #Depression ○▪︎●▪︎●○ S.K. •▪︎○▪︎●○

I know this sounds stupid but only two days after the breakup he stopped using our Netflix account. And it made me more sad…how pathetic is that :(
#breakup #saddness #Anxiety #Broken

So, I'm on Instagram and I tried to reconnect with people I was once friends with. All these friendships ended because of me. I'll like a photo and make a comment but never get a response. I'm trying to rebuild a friend network even if it means starting over. It sucks that I miss these people but don't know how to get over it. They didn't do anything wrong. #Friendship #Christian #saddness

This might sound silly to people but I’m two weeks I stop watching my granddaughter die to me going back to work full time. Now I’m grateful that I can finally work full time but I’m the same sense my heart is very heavy. I’ve watched every Wednesday since she’s been born and I have such a sense f sadness cause she saved my life several times when I was suicidal. Her unconditional love for me and her smile and hugs stopped me every time.

#saddness

Feeling a little down today went to work felt fine until a customer at my job try to talk to me I froze didn’t say anything to her , had a Anxiety , just came home and I’m tired 😴 😥😭🥱 top it all had a sad news yesterday found out someone I once knew died from Coronavirus make it even worst so I had that on my mind today as well . #mental health #Anxiety #Anxiety Attacks #Depression #saddness #social anxiety

I feel like I'm losing myself like nobody would care if I end it tomorrow feel like I bother everyone #Depression #evilthoughts #saddness

It’s been a few days of being in a state of panic. I know my pmdd is getting worse each day. The other day standing in the shower crying to God to help stop me from the suicidal ideation.

I just started birth control Yaz - I don’t know if that’s amplified the depression?
There was an incident with neighbor. .
I’ve been drinking everyday to muffle the noise of the neighbor and the constant self criticism playing in my head. I just want to not hate myself.
I know all this is contributing. I know this and I know that. I’m stuck. I have no support. God usually helps me but I’m being lazy with him. I want human friends. I want someone who knows me. And cares. I’m so sad. I’m really ugly towards ppl right now. I also look ugly. I’m sorry if I sound like a jerk. I know I am. I hope someone will love me as I am. And I won’t push them away.
Anyone care. Anyone feedback. Anyone insight.
Also in relapse and cognitive brain skills are dead. I am dumb right now. I know this is stupid vent. But so overwhelmed tired in pain and all the mental stuff. Huge work thing Boss irritated with me - even though they’re actually taking advantage of me. Why am I always such a loser and a failure!! Tried to reach out for some support - no one available. I know I’m blessed but so much sucks right now. Oh lord help me I believe help my unbelief. Help me please help me #PMDD #Fibromyalgia #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe #Depression #Selfhate
#saddness

Barricaded in this room
Afraid of the people
Who wish to look in
To check how I’m doing
How I’m holding up
When they want me to be fine
When they want me to be ok
Then get disappointed when the truth just doesn’t fade away
That I’m not ok
That my mind is messed up
That I wish my sisters where here,
Instead of sitting with God having blast
Not long gone
While I’m stuck here crying over the past

#Poetry