In 2010, I already went through 2 years of going blind in my eyes. No answer but great job trying to find one. Shots, drops, and full blown surgery. Still keep coming.
Many new issues in 2010. Pain there was no answer. Headaches. Pain so severe in my armpits, neck. Family Doctor: I am faking it because she had no idea what it was.
Then dots all over my lungs. Another new problem, I severe triggers. I say my oxygen goes to 70 on pulse ox. Doctor I am faking it.
Go to lung doctor. Multiple issues that my family says get a new lung Doctor. Hygiene: sneezed into paperwork he handed to me. Did not tell me in biopsy that I could get collapsed lung but got one. Left biopsy on my bed that was wheeled into the recovery room. Wife found it and gave it to the nurses. Collapsed lung, quickly discharged from hospital and sent to off sight imaging center. Told you have a collapsed lung, we have an ambulance on standby. Lung Doctor: go home. Nothing else.
Eye Doctor: If lung biopsy is sarcoidosis, that is your eye problem and we can get proper help now we know what it is. Ask lung Doctor for records.
Family Doctor: I try to say exactly what the eye doctor is telling me. Ok, my mistake. I thought they talked to each other. Going on for 2 years. Doctor tells me, 2 other patients get no treatment for sarcoidosis, so I will not consider it for you. Eh?
I want to be out of work until an answer can be found why my oxygen goes so low. Triggers. Cold weather. Smoke. Happens one step out of my door. You are faking it, best place for you is at work. Work telling me unless you get out on disabilty, they will can me.
Go to lung Doctor and ask for records. He says and I quote, “No one needs to know what I am doing” Adds “Plus Sarcoidosis is nothing in your eyes, a couple of drops and it goes away.” I tell him about triggers. They happen one step out the door. Can’t breathe. No air in nor out. Tells me to go to work and ask about a certain welding. That welding he is referring to has been banned for over 30 years. It is not welding.
I got to eye Doctor, she asks for records. What did he say? Lung Doctor refuses and I say what he told me. My daughter was present at this appointment. Eye Doctor calls lung Doctor ignorant. Tells me, get a new lung Doctor. Tells me where, not whom though.
I plead with family Doctor to not send me to work. I am going to die. She brushes me off. “You are not going to die”. I tell my wife, I am going to die today. When I do, find out what is wrong with me as I am not making it up.
My co-workers will not allow me to do anything. Does not matter, it is the cold weather. Friday, I leave work to go into cold weather. I get to my car but I can’t get air in nor out. I pass out. Some long time later, I come to. Hundreds of co-workers gone, I am only one in parking lot.
Saturday, I call family Doctor to request a new lung Doctor that my family had been asking about for months now. Family Doctor says and I quote, “He is my lung Doctor, so he is your lung Doctor”. I repeat. She repeats. I repeat louder. She repeats louder.
Go to eye Doctor. She tells me and I quote, “So your family Doctor was wrong what is wrong with you?” Walks out of appointment.
Why for 14 years running has no one ever asked, “What happened to you?”
Why not ask me why I did not want that lung Doctor?
Why did I not dismiss that family Doctor?
That was 2010.
2011 my oxygen goes to 70 in surgery Easter. Never received an answer why.
Many real nasty things said to me. 2011 thru 2015. What I believe is how my PTSD started was when my heart stopped twice in 2014. I asked my family Doctor, “Why was I not helped?’
Family Doctor says, “you were not helped because you talked about other Doctors and some Doctors don’t like that”. Added, “I no longer use lung Doctor anymore because of all the compliants”
So 14 years of both physical and mental abuse because I told the truth about a lung Doctor she no longer uses because of all the other complaints.
Just some of the quotes:
Go kill yourself.
No one cares about you.
You deserved it. (Multiple times)
You were lied to going back to when you were first disabled.
You will find it impossible to get proper mental help because of how you received the trauma.
You were given prednsione induced diabetes 9.0.0.4 A1C, heart failure and kidney failure on purpose.
You must agree that you wanted your lung problem to be Sarcoidosis or you will never know what is wrong with you.
You must agree your family Doctor (who told me to go kill myself) did not know about mental health disease.
You should fear what more Doctors could do to you.
I have been blocked from leaving a Doctor’s office once. Physically blocked. You can hear me on recordings asking to let me go. They were trying to TRIGGER a response.
PTSD diagnosed 2018, not told. Told to leave and find care elsewhere.
Stop going to Doctors.
Last mental health provider told me CPTSD was because of asthma mistakes which is a lie. It was on purpose and those words that family Doctor has said to me is what I think about ALL THE TIME.
I see no path forward. Only if the family Doctor wants to admit she did not help me on purpose because I talked about a lung Doctor she no longer uses.
Now it is WAY more important to protect all those providers that failed to help me because that family Doctor said to do it. That I deserved it.
So I stopped going to Doctors long ago. No more lies. No more physical abuse. No more mental abuse. No more blood pressures 200/120. No more chest pain.
I have papers that say, severe high risk asthma. Doctors have known it long ago. They are screwing with me. Do no harm is just a bunch of words. They have no meaning in real life. All it takes is one Doctor to say you deserved to die. The rest do nothing but try their best to join in. Or cover it up.
The good providers I can tell who they are. They dismiss me as a patient after one appointment. They don’t want to get involved. So my choices are the wolves or nothing. I am done with the wolves.
Why was I not asked why I did not want that lung Doctor? None of this had to happen. NO ONE DESERVES THIS.
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