Schizoaffective Disorder

Nine years ago, I did metacognitive training with my mentor at a psychiatric hospital. It's one of those things that quietly changed everything.
High metacognition means I can watch my own mind work—catch when my thoughts spiral, notice when I'm operating in autopilot, recognize patterns before they become problems.
It's like having an internal observer who's learned to spot the difference between a thought and reality, between a helpful strategy and one that's keeping me stuck.
Some days it feels like a superpower. Other days it's just exhausting to be so aware of everything happening upstairs. But I wouldn't trade it—this skill has gotten me through more than I can count.
Anyone else had therapy or training that gave them tools they still use years later?

#MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety

You don't lose your mind all at once. It leaves in pieces—a Tuesday where colors feel wrong, a Thursday where your own thoughts sound like a stranger's voice, a Sunday where you realize you've been holding your breath for three years.
The worst part isn't the falling. It's the clarity. Being smart enough to name what's happening, articulate enough to describe the symptoms, self-aware enough to watch it unfold—and still completely unable to stop the descent.
You become an archaeologist of your own ruins, cataloging exactly how you broke while the person you used to be watches from somewhere you can't reach anymore.
And every morning you wake up and perform being human, because what's the alternative? The world doesn't pause for invisible architecture to collapse.
Mental illness is being both the building and the earthquake. Both the crime scene and the detective. Both the drowning and the witness on the shore, taking notes.

#MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety

I’ve been reflecting a lot on what I need from myself at this point in my life, and on the emotions, symptoms, and overall challenges that have been taking center stage in my mind and day-to-day experience. In a post I shared last week about shame (you can find it here: No Shame ), I talked about how shame has impacted my sense of hope. I’m also noticing how it has shaped my avoidant tendencies, isolation, and depression.

I want to put myself out there more—but in ways that feel safe. I want to better understand what safety feels like and learn how to create that sense of safety within myself, so the outside world doesn’t feel quite as scary.

What’s an emotion or symptom you want to cope with better? What are some steps you can take to begin that process?

#BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Schizophrenia #ADHD #Parenting #ChronicIllness #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Depression #MentalHealth #Selfcare #EatingDisorders #CheckInWithMe #CheerMeOn

I stand between who I was and who I'm becoming, belonging fully to neither place.
The past no longer knows my face, the future hasn't welcomed me in yet.
I feel incomplete, like a thought left hanging in mid-air.
Others demand certainty, but I'm still figuring out the questions.
This present version of me is fleeting, breakable, uncertain—but still trying.
And maybe that's all I need to be right now, even when it feels like too little.
I put myself back together quietly, piece by piece, telling no one.
No recognition for simply surviving, no audience for the anguish.
Stillness became where I worked, endurance became what I used.
They only saw the resilience, never the wreckage—and that's how I know I truly healed.
#SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #MentalHealth #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #BipolarDisorder

NAMI Connection is a peer recovery support group for adults with mental illness, led by trained facilitators. Develop coping skills, share common experiences, gain self-advocacy skills, and find community.

If you'd like more information or would like to join, you can find the link here. Virtual groups are every Wednesday from 7:00 pm to 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time:
naminycmetro.org/programs/nami-connection

🗺️ If you are in the New York City area, in person groups are every second Thursdays, 6:30 to 8pm ET or third Wednesdays, 6:30 to 8pm ET at the NAMI-NYC office.

If you have any questions, feel free to comment below!

#BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Schizophrenia #ADHD #Parenting #ChronicIllness #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Depression #MentalHealth #Selfcare #EatingDisorders #CheckInWithMe #CheerMeOn

THE SPITE THAT KEEPS ME BREATHING.

I exist with all the enthusiasm of mandatory overtime. Heart pumping, lungs filling, neurons firing—not from gratitude, but because dying would feel like admitting defeat.
So here I am, checking off survival's boxes with the energy of filling out paperwork. Awake? Check. Fed? Fine. Functional? Technically.
The universe insisted I participate, so I show up. Bare minimum. Present but not accounted for.
Call it living if you want. I call it the longest act of defiance I've ever committed. #MentalHealth #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Disability #Neurodiversity

Growing up, I had little knowledge or understanding of what it meant to take care of my mental health—that is, until I had to make it a priority. Even now, it still surprises me how much effort, support, energy, and confidence it takes to remain resilient. Sometimes I feel incredibly tired and exhausted from keeping up with my treatment and care.

What about you?
What’s something you’ve found surprising?

Feel free to share your thoughts below. 🙂

#BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Schizophrenia #ADHD #Parenting #ChronicIllness #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Depression #MentalHealth #Selfcare #EatingDisorders #CheckInWithMe #CheerMeOn