Schizoaffective Disorder

The moment I needed the most to be balanced my disorder is making effects on me again. Waking up at 3:45 am and not sleeping any more, sad feelings, bad self esteem and so on… #MentalHealth #SchizoaffectiveDisorder

Hi, my name is JolleyRecovery. I'm here because of my own mental health conditions but more urgently, my 17 yr old son's schizoaffective DX on top of his ADHD, rage disorder, agoraphobia, severe anxiety, depression and PTSD related to sexual trauma. he's spiraling and only four months till 18 and I'm terrified. The mental health system in our state/county is failing him. particularly because we are in poverty and in Medicaid, so the things available to us are limited. Last Friday he attacked his 29 yr old brother for one simple statement that he was voting for Trump. my 17 yr old has very grandiose thoughts and thinks he's more knowledgeable on ANY subject than anyone else. he's highly offended by the orange guy. He instantly jumped to his feet, yelling about women's rights (he wasn't wrong lol) and how dare his brother say that he was voting for him... my oldest attempt to deescalate him failed and my youngest just launched at him, throwing fists and my oldest had no choice but to defend himself while trying to get away. my house got busted up, and my youngest actually grabbed a huge kitchen knife and was going to stab his brother. when I saw him head to the kitchen I just knew and I pushed my oldest out the front door and said take my car, keys in it, RUNNN NOW.. he didn't want to leave me but I knew I wasn't the Target. he ran out and I grabbed a hold of other sons arm and clothes to slow him down and ended up thrown to the floor and stomped on several times. I have a broken rib and a messed up shoulder and lotsa bruising and a goose egg. his eyes were pitch black, his face slack -- lights were on but no one was home he was in such a rage. He threatened suicide by cop in a regular so I had to let things cool off while I texted for help. anyhow, 3 days in a padded room in the ER, being promised they would find a psych bed for him, be patient mom, helps coming... easy for them to say when they weren't trapped in a room with someone who had just assaulted them and promised to kill them and kept saying it for hours as I was forced to stay by his side at the hospital, under threat of them calling CPS if I left! I finally said call them idgaf I'm going to smoke I'm not just going to sit here being abused! anyhow, there's WAYYY more but too much for My intro. sorry it's so long. I'm just so ALONE and desperate for help. they discharged him home two days later saying that because he had no active plan at the EXACT moment they're interviewing him, that he doesn't meet the criteria for inpatient hospitalization. He BEGGED them to place him, for help, even said he wasn't sure he wouldn't snap five minutes after leaving hospital and hurt himself or someone else. NOPE sorry ya don't meet the criteria. WTF is wrong with this country??! help?

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Migraine #PTSD #ADHD #Grief #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #assault #juvenilementalhealth #Parenting #parentingschizophrenia #ReactiveAttachmentDisorder #Inpatient

Good morning,

I didn’t sleep last night. I couldn’t sleep. As I lie awake my mind starts to slip into madness, as one often does without proper sleep. I began to feel helpless and hopeless because of the thoughts in my head. See I have a somewhat decent life I’ve got a beautiful girlfriend, a loving family and a good job. Still I’m stricken with lack of emotional regulation. I’m on several anti psychotics and anti depressants and all the other supportive medication you get when you take such meds I get an Injection every 6 weeks of one of my antipsychotics that has pretty much stopped my hallucinations. I wonder though, do I need to be on this for the rest of my life? Is medication life long? Will my thoughts ever become normal will I ever feel happy? Will I ever learn that I am enough? When does the shift into normality begin? I’ve been on this injection and my antidepressants for several years so long that there are scars on the sites where I receive these injections. Still I feel “abnormal” I feel like I fake everything all the time. I fake being happy I force a smile I survive each day but when I am alone my knees want to give out from under me and I want to curl into a ball, break down in tears and never ever get up. I’ve taken DBT therapy twice. I’m pretty good at taking my meds, still after all these years… I’m still “abnormal” and it makes me angry. Why can’t I be happy? Do I not deserve it? Am I not enough? I have the insight to know my thoughts are wrong and could articulate my feelings of emptiness pretty well but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel these feelings I don’t feel alive most of the time I get by each day by just surviving it the only time I’m at peace is when I’m asleep. When will I feel normal? Is this just the way life is for me? Such a heartbreaking gut wrenching thought. Why? I’ve fooled everyone around me and nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows I’m dead inside if I told them they’d laugh in disbelief but pretending to be well is t the same as being well. I know. So I guess if anyone’s read this far my question to you reader is this. When does normality kick in? When do I get to enjoy life? I’m almost 40 and been on my meds since my mid 20’s. Still I’m a far cry from “normal” and I’m getting tired of just surviving each day. In truth I’m exhausted. Will I have to get my injections every 6 weeks for the rest of my life ? Will I require handfuls of medication every day for the rest of my life? Will I forever be an actor in my own my life playing a character that I’ve created for everyone to see for their enjoyment ? When will it get better ? When do I get to be “normal” #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Depression

Hello Everyone!

I have the diagnoses of Schizo-affective, PTSD, anxiety, and T1D and currently really struggling with managing my symptoms. I am currently taking a very high dose clozapine, anti-psychotic, at 850mg and still not at a therapeutic level. I am questioning whether this medication, clozapine is worth exploring more...Does anybody have any similar experiences with it? Or are there any other medications that others may use to treat their schizo-affective disorder?

#SchizoaffectiveDisorder #PTSD #Anxiety #T1D #medications

I’m feeling very down and depressed and defeated by life these days. I’ve been looking for a job for 7 months now and it’s been very difficult. I’m on probation and that doesn’t help when it comes to the job search, it’s mostly what is keeping me from getting a job. I can’t go on like this much longer. My mom is helping me by paying my bills and I greatly appreciate all of her help but this can’t go on anymore. It’s really killing my spirit to not have a job and have a purpose. It’s very soul crushing to be in the position I am in. The system makes it really challenging for people with a background to get a job. I’m very sorry for what I did I just wish it wouldn’t affect me getting a job when I desperately need one. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Hi, my name is AllisonLangwine1971. I'm here because I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder 12 years ago and I'm so isolated with schizoaffective disorder because it's so rare,so would like to see other people's experiences.

#MightyTogether