TooYoungForThisNonsense

I've been a member here for a few years but have never been that active until last week. I realize this is the best place for me, Facebook and Instagram makes my depression much worse. I'm also realizing I don't know what my true mental health diagnoses are. I know I suffer from #deprrssion and #Anxiety also #PTSD but I KNOW there is more wrong with me. I have state aid insurance (welfare insurance) and I truly believe that I don't get the best care because of it. From my failed spinal surgery and the chronic pain I live with now, to my mental health I really feel I'm at the bottom of the totem pole. Since my daughter passed away in 2015 I have really drastically declined in every way. My brain is so gone I don't believe I'll ever be able to work again. I don't work now and haven't for the past 4 years because I've been fighting to get disability. I don't think I'll ever be able to retain information like I used too. I'm just wondering if anyone else out there on state aid and with lots of different health issues feel like they don't get adequate care. I've been going to therapy on and off since I was 15, I'm 35 now, and nothing ever improves. My physical condition has gotten so bad I barely leave my apartment. Just want to live a lil semi normal I know I'll never be normal again. #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #ChronicPain #FailedBackSurgery #ChildLoss #ComplicatedGrief #TooYoungForThisNonsense #longlivebribri

I just want answers to my constant pain, I can’t do the things a 21 year old can do, I couldn’t do anything a 20 year old could do, I couldn’t do anything a 19 year old could do, and I couldn’t do anything an 18 year old could do.

Is it too much to ask for to want to be better?

It’s been three years

I’m too young for this shit

I feel so numb to this all that my heart has passed the broken stage

My anxiety isn’t helping my state

I’ve already cried so often over this all

Just...

All I’m left to wonder is

Why?

#Anxiety #Pain #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #CheckInWithMe #RareDisease #Neuropathy #Imsodone #Stress #frustrated #TooYoungForThisNonsense #IfYouFeelHopeless #brokenheart

I have never been one that has particularly wanted or counted on getting married and having kids. But after my latest diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and EDS, the doctor told me that if I ever try to have kids I will have a LOT of miscarriages and might never be able to carry them to term. I can't explain the heartbreak I felt in that moment. A punch in the gut to a part of me I never realized was so tender.
Things are great until what you were confident you had gets taken away. Struggling to come to terms with it. How silly I am, I think to myself as I wipe away the tears when I get to thinking about my terribly poor health. I purposely have chosen not to get in a relationship with anyone because I knew my pain and bad health would be such a struggle for raising a family, but still it hurts. Not sure how many more life-shaking diagnosis I can handle. I pray to God that I only have a few more left. 10 syndromes are way too many to hand to a 23 year old.

#thanksnothanks #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #Arthritis #CheckInWithMe #TooYoungForThisNonsense