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How do you have a healthy relationship with a toxic parent? Without boundaries, you don’t.

How do you have a healthy relationship with a toxic parent? Without boundaries, you don’t. At least that’s the case in my situation. My parent has been sober for a couple of years now, but the toxic, manipulative personality traits are still there. I now realize that the alcohol only manifested their traits louder and made them more persistent. The parent blames me for not letting them back in and they swear they’ve changed, but when they’ve spent 30 years of my life being an alcoholic jerk abandoning me over and over again, it’s hard to ever let those walls down. And truth be told a lot of those personality traits are still prevalent and are/were worse than the alcoholism. I don’t like who they are as a human. I don’t want them around my children. They manipulate, guilt trip, victimize themselves, lie, and never really show up when it matters. But society and everyone with an opinion repeats the phrase, “well they’re your mother”, when did being a “mother” give someone a free pass to be in your life when they are the reason behind all your trauma, abandonment issues, anxiety, etc? I use to long for a relationship and gave chance after chance after chance, but that ship sailed once I accepted that this is the way they are and quit blaming myself for my abandonment. So for now I put up big boundaries because it’s not just me I want to protect, but my babies too. This seems to make the relationship less stressful and in a sense “healthy”, but the only way these boundaries work is with consistency and lots and lots of therapy to constantly remind me that her actions are not my fault. #toxicparent #MentalHealth #Anxiety #alcoholic #Relationships #Therapy #boundaries #Trauma

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So very true #Trauma #Abuse #toxicparent #jerks

You know… I always pride myself on being a survivor not a victim. I thought I had it all mastered. I thought certain people could never get to me again. I thought I had cried all my tears. I thought I was numb. I thought I was healed.
I was wrong, very, very wrong. Now I sit here with tears streaming down my face, with a ♡ that’s full of hurt and I feel pissed at myself for being so wrong. So, so very wrong


Can loving parents be emotionally manipulative?

I mainly want to know if this has happened to other people and what you’ve done about it. My mother is a very sweet person and does her best to take care of other people. But she has a lot of insecurity that I usually end up feeling the brunt of. I have multiple illnesses and sometimes I just need to be alone but she takes things like that as a personal offense. She also has asked me to prove to her that I love her (literally last week) even though I do my best to regularly spend time with her and do things for her when I can. I also usually end up having to comfort her even when I’m the one experiencing physical pain and running back and forth to the bathroom. My therapist says I need to move out, and I really want to but I don’t have any money. My OCD gets worse when I’m home because I can feel the stress of living with her. Some of my friends know as well as my boyfriend, and my therapist. But if I try to talk to anyone else about it they just come up with something about how she just loves me a lot, but that gets frustrating after you’ve heard it the first few times. #toxicparent #whatshouldido #toxicrelationship #ToxicRelationships


when do you say enough? #Toxic #Family #toxicparent

My father and I never had a good relationship and it was clear that he never wanted kids. we were fine with the occasional call and texting each other on holidays. But now that he's remarried, his wife tells me I need to call my father more even though he doesn't do the same and is barely there when we do talk. he's gone so far as to calm me a disappointment and he expects more from me.

Do I just cut my losses and ignore their messages or do I try to put effort in again knowing it will never be enough. #phonetime #Fathers #Stepmom #feelinunwanted


Do you find yourself believing they are being honest? #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #NarcissisticMother #Narcissitparent

I know, by a fact that they haven’t change and that everything they do has a motive behind it, but I can’t help but to find myself wondering if maybe just maybe they are just being honest. I end up with this internal battle and I know we have been here before and if I give in, if I give them a chance (again) I’ll end up in the same vicious cycle I have landed so many times before.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
#Toxicmom #toxicparent #ToxicRelationships


What’s your experience with a toxic parent and how did you deal with it? #toxicparent #Toxic

My father and I have a rather rocky relationship. Yesterday I decided to step away from the relationship. We have been estranged before for 3 years, then we decided to forgive each other but things didn’t change. He has his resentments towards me and I have my own towards him but I couldn’t handle the manipulation anymore. It’s a painful situation but I needed to do something drastic for my own good. What has been your experience?


How to deal? #toxicparent #Toxicmom #ToxicRelationships #Depression #Anxiety

My mom has always been a toxic influence in my life. Now, at 36 with a family of my own; I’m constantly being emotionally played upon by her. She’ll react to something good in my world and if it wasn’t her doing, she goes into pity mode and makes me feel like I’m a horrible person for not praising her. I try to keep a healthy relationship for the sake of my kids...but I am soo tired of her bullshit. It makes my moods go all over the place to the point my family life suffers from time to time. Any advice?