Update

I have made several posts about the situation with my son so I won’t explain that again. On February 25th we go to court to remove him as my guardian. I have petitioned the court to let me be my own guardian again. Even with the complications from my current struggles with insomnia, I am capable of making sound decisions for myself. My morals and values are intact. I am very anxious to get this over with.

Speaking of the insomnia - I sleep less than 3 hours per 24. At least 2-3 nights a week I don’t even get into bed. I am following a healthy sleep guide that says bed only when sleepy. I started having bizarre episodes where my whole body jumps as if I was startled awake - but I was not sleeping in the first place. When I ran it by my PCP and now also my Psychiatrist, they both mentioned researching microsleeps. According to my research, they start when you are so sleep deprived that your organs are in danger of damage and/or failure. The human body needs to go into regular sleep cycles to rejuvenate all of the body systems regularly. I am going to be started on a new sleeping med called Belsomra when the prior authorization goes through.

I have also started to take some food extracts to assist meds I am already taking. Replace deficiencies revealed in blood work. And hopefully replace some prescription meds. I take 127 prescribed pills every day! The only thing both doctors asked is that #1 I only start 1 new extract a week. And #2 I notify each of them when I start something new so they can help track any side effects and/or benefits.

I have so many physical and mental health based dxs that I need to address. Doing it one at a time with single ingredient extracts when possible. With my autoimmune disorders, it can cause a different reaction or need a higher dose to accomplish anything. I am being careful and checking with my care team before I even purchase any extracts. The way I am doing this is very expensive. But how can I put a limit on my health and even my existence. I need to find some sort of quality of life- something I don’t think I have ever had. Anyway, this is the direction I have chosen at this time. I hope and pray for positive effects.

Those are the major updates I have to offer at this point in time… #Insomnia #MajorDepression #foodextracts #Court #microsleeps #Sleepmed #Guardianship #autoimmunedisorders #sounddecisions #organrisk #consultdoctor #Update #numerousdiagnoses #physicalhealth #MentalHealth #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #healthysleephygiene

° " So I Fixed My Rent. I Had To Hand Over My Entire Paycheck.. And Now I'm Broke.. The Notice Wasn't Even Legel Because I Spotted A Few Thing's... The Paper Has To Be Thick And Have A State Seal... Plus It Looked Like A Toddler Signed The Paper... So I Talked To Them I'm Staying At My Place... I Just Need To Stay Ahead On Rent. But That Was Scary I Almost Had A Breakdown And Heart Attack... And They Needed The Money ASAP.. " • Skaoi Kvitravn • #Update

×"OK So This Early Morning At 4A.M. I Paid My Rent In Full Of What I Owed And Only Need $5.00 Paid Off The Website Charge's A Fee Of $9.99 To Use Everytime. So Now U All Know Why I'm Alway's Broke Now. But Hopefully I Can Stay At My Place.

× " So It's True I'm A Workaholic... I Have Been Working 40+ A Week.. And Get Called In.. Etc... My Mental State Is Like ( High Level ).. Atm My Stress Is ( Extremely High )... So I Have Been Dealing With A Racist Old Lady ( Assistant Manager) At Work This Lady Doesn't Like Me Or My Work Ethic... And She Has Been A Menence To Morning × Night Shift's Crew's. My Main Boss Is Now Setting Up A Meeting With Her Boss. Because Apparently I'm Not The Only One Getting Verbally Abused And Talked Down 2. This Lady Has Caused So Much Drama And Alot Of Employee's Quitting... I Have Warned My Bosse's That I Will Be Leaving By The Summertime. If Thing's Don't Change ASAP. My Female Boss Love's My Work Ethic And Apparently Me. But I Bring In Alot Of Customer's. They Only Come To See Me. Because Of My Excellent Service. And She's Trying To Make Me Stay... " × Sincerely, ☆ Skaoi Kvitravn ☆ #ChronicPain #Depression

° " So For The Last Few Month's I Have Been Working Night Shift Non Stop... They Keep Hiring Teenager's Who Don't Know The Meaning Of The Word " RESPECT " And These Kids Are Extremely Disrespectful To Me And Other People.. And Then This Restaurant That I Work At Keep's Losing Employee's Constantly... Someone Walked Out On Them Last Night... And Then I Got Called In At 6.10P.M. ▪︎《 I Didn't Answer My Phone 》▪︎ This Has Been Happening To Me Non Stop... I Have Been Trying To Get Another Job.. Buy Something Alway's Come's Up On My End.. My Job Being Extremely Needy... Of Me All The Time.. I'm Extremely Burnt Out... Idk What To Do.. I Don't Want To Fall Back Into A Depression Spell... " Sincerely, ☆ Skaoi Kvitravn ☆ #Depression #Anxiety #chronic Pain

These days have been weird, I'm ok and then I'm not. I need and want to work to be more independent. But I 've been dragging this feeling of not leaving my house. I feel terrible, and I'm looking for excuses not to go out tomorrow, then again I will cry because I don't have a job or financial freedom. I know that I am sabotaging myself, I'm totally aware of what I do. I just don't know how to stop it
. *UPDATE* I was able to get a job, I start tomorrow, I'm excited and very hopeful about this new experience. #Update #Newjob #MightyTogether

Thank you to all who commented on my last post. I'm doing better mentally now than I was. Yalls support means so much to me.

Funny story: APPARENTLY I'm allergic to one of my new meds.
What happened you ask? Oh nothing just my lips, gums, and tongue swelling to painful proportions. I didn't even recognize it as an allergic reaction due to my eating disorder 🤣🤦‍♀️

Anyway, stopped the meds, been taking benadryl and things are looking up lol whew! What a week! Still feelin it, but looking less like a Kardashian 🤣

Thanks again, My little growing community 💜

#MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD

☆ " So I Have Been Busy Working And Applying For Stuff.. I Already Have An Appointment For SSA In April And I Just Did Medicaid And SNAP... I Just Really Want To Be Off My Feet From Standing 8+ Hour's A Day.. And To Finally Be Away From Nosy Mean People... But Until Then It's The Neverending Waiting Game With These People..." ☆ ▪︎♤▪︎SKAOI KVITRAVN▪︎♤▪︎ #Stressedout

× " So I Guess I'm Getting My Hour's Cut Which Is What I Started With... When I Began Working For T.C. My Schedule Is Now Hopefully 4 Day's Of Work 3 Day's Off.. We Will See This Lady Forget's Though... Also I Almost Passed Out At Work.. Because The Store Was Extremely Hott.. " • #Work ☆☆☆Skaoi Kvitravn ☆☆☆

Had my counseling appointment, it went okay. We discussed things if I don't feel I can keep myself safe, the mammogram (not scheduled yet), #Selfharm stuff, #SuicidalIdeation stuff and things.
I kinda want to self-harm now, #Depression is high. Trying to motivate myself to do stuff. I'm really depressed and don't know why 😔 counseling didn't help too much. I feel like my life is one big distraction lately.
I miss my grandma a lot 😭 she died in 2019, she was more of mom than my mom could be it seemed. It's better now with my mom, a lot better but I can't discuss mental health issues with her or any other family members really. I didn't really with my grandma but I knew she loved me unconditionally and we agreed more on a lot of things.
My case manager called from my doctor's office about a different rheumatologist. Having issues getting in with one. She also called me back cause I called her about the depression and stuff, I don't know how that made me feel. I'm kinda numb and have fibro fog badly. Everything seems at an arms length and I'm disassociating a tad. I'm not doing great.

#Anxiety #PTSD #FibroFog #Fibromyalgia #numb #Update #Grief