Update

Had my counseling appointment, it went okay. We discussed things if I don't feel I can keep myself safe, the mammogram (not scheduled yet), #Selfharm stuff, #SuicidalIdeation stuff and things.
I kinda want to self-harm now, #Depression is high. Trying to motivate myself to do stuff. I'm really depressed and don't know why 😔 counseling didn't help too much. I feel like my life is one big distraction lately.
I miss my grandma a lot 😭 she died in 2019, she was more of mom than my mom could be it seemed. It's better now with my mom, a lot better but I can't discuss mental health issues with her or any other family members really. I didn't really with my grandma but I knew she loved me unconditionally and we agreed more on a lot of things.
My case manager called from my doctor's office about a different rheumatologist. Having issues getting in with one. She also called me back cause I called her about the depression and stuff, I don't know how that made me feel. I'm kinda numb and have fibro fog badly. Everything seems at an arms length and I'm disassociating a tad. I'm not doing great.

#Anxiety #PTSD #FibroFog #Fibromyalgia #numb #Update #Grief

× " I'm Going To Have Alittle Slow Down.. Since We Have Plenty Of Employee's... But I Hate Having My Hour's Cut.. It Make's Me Feel Like I'm Being Lazy.. But Oh Well There's Nothing I Can Do About It... And Wait Until The Teen's Go Back To School Hopefully... Sigh.. " YES! I'M A WORKAHOLIC .. " × #Update ☆ ▪︎ S. K. ▪︎☆

× " Sooo The Morning... Was Going Well Until A New Employee Didn't Like What My Boss Wanted To Teach Her... This New Hire Took Thing's The Worng Way.. And Started Causing Drama For No Reason With My Boss... I Really Didn't See Anything I Just Heard Yelling Really... And I Saw Hair Being Pulled.. This New Girl Couldn't Just Follow Some Nice Teaching's... She Got Herself Fired... And Arrested... On Her 1st Day On The Job Too... Why Can't Human's Behave Seriously!!!... " × ☆☆S.K.☆☆ #Update #Drama

× " Sooo.. I Have Been Working Non Stop.. Lately We Are Now Fully Open To The Public... I'm Still Full-time Yaay! But Today Some New Girl Had A Breakdown At Work Full On Display.. To The Point That The District Manager Saw Everything Yike's... This Girl Ran Away From The Patio Area.. Almost Stripped.. Because She Kept Saying That A Wasp Was After Her. Mind You I Was Standing Right Next To Her. I Didn't See Anything. So My Day Was Wierd And Then This Girl Was In Tear's Complaining That The Job Was Stressful And Hard. My Boss Was Like W.T.F. And She Claimed That This Job Was Fake..And That We Were Playing Her.👍 And So Apparently This Has Happened At Another T.C. This Girl Like's Putting On A Show. And Making Drama... I Guess.. She Definitely Has #mental Health Issue's For Sure. Let's See If She Show's Up Tomorrow For Work ? × Sincerely, ☆ S. K. ☆ #Update

× So Now I Will Be Grinding Fulltime 8 Hour's 5 Day's A Week. With My Two Regular Day's Off. I Think My Upgraded Pay Will Be At $13 But I Still Don't Know For Sure Until Next Week. Take Care Mightie's All My Love x Huge Hug's To You All. ♡ S.K. ♡ #Update #Upgrade

Hey everyone I know I have not been active on here but I will try #Autism #Update #AutisticGuy

x This Will Be Course # 6 And Then More Interesting Knowledge To Come Soo Stay Tuned For More.. x #Update 's 🌹🤓🤘

x On To More Course's..And Later Since I Love Writing #Poetry On Here Alot, I Know That I Haven't Been Posting Much On Here..I Was Thinking Of Also Taking A Course In #freelance Writing 🤓..I Just ❤️ Trying To Make People Feel Better. And Writing Sometime's Let's Get My Dark Thought's, Nightmare's & Stress Worrie's. Out Into The Open On Here Or In Journaling..Welp!! I Guess One Thing At A Time . 🌹 x SKADI x 🌹#Update

Now I Have My Three Certificate's...Now All I Need Is This State's Exam 😤...So Today I Got Signed Up For Random Job's With Out My Knowledge....Like Hello Why I'm I Busting Myself Doing These Classe's And Now I Have Two Random Job's That I Didn't Even Apply For. My Family Luke's Doing These Thing's Alot..Like Hello I Told You What I Was Going For. I Guess They Really Don't Have Confidence In Me Being Successful...At My Dream Job Frist..I Hate Being Mirco-Managed..I Get That My Sister..Just Want's To Help...But 🛑 Doing Thing's Without Telling Me..Or Letting Me Know Frist 🥀 ..#Update

Well the job in Antarctica didn't pan out.
Medical kept wanting more and more
information on my gastroparesis, and then
I found out that the COVID vaccine was
mandatory, so I had to withdraw.

Now I've found out that my full time
position is in jeopardy because of the
mandate as well. I have until December 8th
to be vaccinated or I'll be terminated with
cause. I'm so stressed out and worried
about losing my job. I do NOT want this
vaccine. Not right now. I don't feel the
research has been done enough to know
how this will affect people five, ten years
down the road. It was rolled out way too
fast and approved way too fast. I have too
many health issues; I don't need more. Also,
I've had COVID. I'm fine. I have the antibodies. I shouldn't be forced out o get
vaccinated. And I sure as hell shouldn't lose
my job over it.

Anyway, I recently had genetic testing
done. Found out I'm a carrier for Alport
syndrome and that I'm at a higher risk of
developing Long QT syndrome. I also
received a clinical diagnosis for hEDS.

I started a second job (PT weekends, so I'm
working seven days a week) with the
Medical Examiner's Office about two
months ago, and it's awesome. I very much
enjoy it. Luckily this vaccine mandate isn't
affecting that job, as they have less than
100 employees. So even though I'm
screwed with my FT job, I'll still (hopefully)
have my PT job. #Update #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Gastroparesis #Anxiety #CheckInWithMe