Scoliosis

☆ " Since I Started Shifting My Hour's To Stay Later Passed My Off The Clock Which Is Actually 8AM-2PM... My Shift's Seem To Be Getting Longer And My Workload More Stressful... I Honestly Cannot... Stand For More Than 3 To 4 Hour's... Due To My Crappy Body My Lower Back Pain Is Chronic... Because I Was Born With " Scoliosis "... And My Leg's And Feet Are The Worst Chronic Severe Pain... Due To My " Cerebral Palsy " Since At Birth... I Live With Severe Chronic Pain... And It's Also Another Full-Time Job... This Is Why I Don't Wish To Have Anyone In My Life Currently... I Hide How I Really Feel Inside.. The Outside Is Unavoidable.. I Walk With A Limp... And Drag My Feet When I'm Chronicly Tired... So Now I'm Having Issue's With My Hand's. I Use Them Alot... It Never End's Something I Feel Like I Just Want To Dissappear... " ☆ #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicPain ☆ SKADI KVITRAVN ☆

Hi
My 'story' or should I say 'my life', is a daily struggle. Quite frankly, it's overwhelming for anyone, let alone me.
I am a single Mum to a now 19 year old daughter, who is on the Autism Spectrum, who battles with Mental Health issues. She also has had spinal surgery due to severe scoliosis (curvature of the spine). It's not easy having a child with these ongoing issues & it's been & still is a tough road. I try my best to be a good Mum but struggle immensely with the ongoing traumatic & stressful circumstances (multiple suicide attempts & destructive behavior). Mental Health is a difficult thing to help anyone with, particularly when it's your own child. I have alot of stress related to all this & some days, feel absolutely hopeless.We all want our children to have happy, healthy lives but this is not the case with my daughter & it's not a easy thing to deal with. Because, her struggles have been numerous, people (friends & family) seemed to have had enough of hearing about it. I have had people tell/advise me, what I should do, shouldn't do, etc etc her whole life & that continues to this day. I honestly,don't need all the 'bullshit'.....I just need people to support & not judge me, in matters that they either have no knowledge or understanding of but unfortunately it seems, too much for the average person.
To add to this, I have chronic health issues, which have severely, impacted on both my physical & mental health. Living with chronic illness, & pain is no easy road, that's for sure. It impacts your daily life from work, finances, activities, sleep etc etc & interferes with your relationships, friends & family. Nobody really understands to what extent, except for others going through similar things.
You have regular hospital appointments, alot of medications, surgeries.
I often wonder what life would of been like, without all my own & my daughter's struggles.
I sometimes find myself envying people who have relatively 'normal' lives, who only get the occasional cold or headache & don't have money problems but then I come back to 'reality' & realise that although our lives are super tough....we are lucky to be alive....as many people loose that battle.
I just want a good friend or 2, that just understands & doesn't judge me or my daughter, someone who I can talk to or have a drink with & go out & have a bit of fun with, who accepts me for my not so great life. The ONLY person, I have in my life, like this, is my Mum & unfortunately she is in Pallative care (end of life care), so I'm having to deal with this as well.
If you've read all of this 'well done'....lol.....it's not a great story but I needed to just get it out there to see, what this brings to me.
Thank you to anyone that reads all this & can sympathize with a similar, tough life 😊

Hi, my name is Bondwood1. I'm here because

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Scoliosis #Depression #PTSD #Grief

Hi, my name is tallpenguin23. I'm here because I want to know I'm not alone

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Scoliosis #ChronicIllness

Hi, my name is Rowan and my pronouns are they/them and he/him. I'm diagnosed with depression and anxiety, although I have good medication and my mental health is better nowadays. I have chronic pain, I've always thought it's scoliosis-related but lately I'm not so sure anymore. I guess I'm here because I know people will believe me and understand what it's like to live in constant pain, when irl it's a very lonely experience and many people dismiss it.

#MightyTogether #Depression #Scoliosis #Anxiety

♧ " So Yesterday I Got Yelked At And Ordered Around Like A Lap Dog.. By A Co-worker. For No Reason.. She Kept Telling Me How To Do My Job.. When I Started These People Didn't Bother To Tell Me.. That I Have Been Assigned To Do Cleaning Aka The Patio And The Lobby And The Restroom's... I Did This 3 Time's... To Me This Is " NOT BEING PRODUCTIVE AT ALL!! "... I'm So Used To Doing More At My Job.. I Don't Think That These People Even Like Me... I Hate Doing Only 2 Thing's... And All These Manager's... I Have Noticed They Can't Keep Count Of Thier Cash Drawer's.. So Now All Cashier's... Including Me Are Now Being Watched Because One Of These Manager's Keep's Coming Up Short.. So I Told My Male Manager That I Have Learning Disabilitie's.. Because I Can't Count Cash And Change Very Well... And My # Cerebral Palsy And #Scoliosis ... But Now I Feel So Stressed Out And Uncomfortable At This Store... They Are So Set In Thier Lazy Way Of Doing Thing's... I'm Trying To Teach New Idea's And Thing's.. Meh! They Don't Like How I Do Thing's My Own Way That I Was Taught.. I Don't Make Tortilla's Anymore... All I Do Is Take Out The Trash. Clean... Cash Out The Register... And I Feel Devalued And Not Used In Important Area's Like The Drive-Thru.. I'm Trying To Give These People A Chance... But They Don't Seem Intrested In My Work Ethic Or What I Can Bring To The Table To Help Them Out... I Want To Leave But I Just Got My Apartment. People Sure Know How To Make Other's Feel Unwelcome And Depressed."◇ #AnUpdate ☆▪︎▪︎☆ SKADI KVITRAVN☆▪︎▪︎☆

Last week my younger sister was put on a Ventilator, along with Chest Tubes and Feeding Tube. She is in her 50’s and has been a smoker her whole life. She did not take care of herself, hadn’t seen a doctor in decades, didn’t eat properly and self medicated for years. At this stage of her lung disease, her prognosis is poor. What makes this worse, is It hasn’t even been a year since the death of another younger sibling. Of my remaining family, I see have one sibling struggling with Mental Illness, one who almost died from a Hypertensive Crisis due to untreated High Blood Pressure and another who was born with severe scoliosis as well as many features akin to Achondroplasia.
The differences in the manifestations of our CPTSD are as varied as the differences in how we learned to cope/survive as children and ultimately as adults.
So little is written about the history of our lives, from a family system perspective.
How so many of the choices we made, were not from a thoughtful place (Frontal Cortex) but, from the Amygdala, a place of “fight or flight.”
How a childhood history of violence and abuse can result in life limiting diseases.
Some literature speaks to how people who have experienced trauma as a child, are more at risk for Heart Disease, Diabetes, additions…etc. However, these studies do not reflect the whole picture, that involves the family. Studies do not address the feelings of sadness and helplessness, that come from witnessing a sibling’s struggles, chronic illness and death. How sometimes being around each other in our attempt to comfort and support can be triggering because of the shared experiences as children.
My heartache is tinged with anger that my beautiful siblings, the ones I love so, the ones I tried to protect as children, when I was a child myself, didn’t have the lives they deserved. No one truly understands how difficult it is to caste off the shroud of abuse. To be free of shame, fear and self doubt…unless you’ve been there yourself.
I know I’m at a dark place right now. One filled with anticipatory grief and anger. It is a place I worked so hard to reconcile through out the years but, it is where I know I need to be and not where I will stay.
There needs to be more written about our roles within the family as well as the family’s role in us. Especially, as it pertains to a family history of violence and abuse. This too pertains to whether you were an only child or one of several.
I can’t help wonder how many of you have faced or are facing the same losses or challenges.
Before I finish, thank you for giving me this opportunity to share and process further. If I’ve said or shared anything that can lead to misunderstanding, I am sorry. This is what’s true for me, or where I am at in my pain, just at this moment.

× " I'm Starting To Really Hate Work Sometime's It's Ok... But In Reality People Just Don't Like Working Anymore More And The Ongoing Stimulus $ Is What's The Issue... Companie's Need To STOP Being Cheap Give Actually Better Living Wage's.. So That You Could Actaully Keep Your Employee's... Come Up With Good Package's When Hiring.. And Stop Taking The Retirement Package's Away.. Do Better... Nobody Will Work For Any Company Right Now Because Of How Management Treat's Employee's... Like Disposable Replacement Trash.. I'm Honestly Sick And Tired Of Picking Up Everyone's Lazyness Slack.. It's Hard On My Body.. To Be Doing Alot Of Heavey Lifting Etc.. It Take's 2 Day's For Me To Recover From My Pain.. I Can't Shower Or Get Out Of Bed.. I Drag Myself To Go Fix Food Etc.. And People Get Mad At Me For Calling In... " EXCUSE ME!".. When I'm At My Job I Put My Head Down And Work... I Don't Talk To Anyone Because It's A Time Consuming Distraction For Me... I Only Look At My Phone For The Time.. Because I Over Stay Working.. My Job Is Extremely Tasking.. I Do Alot Because Of Other People Who Think That They Are Supposed To Only Do One Job... Not True.. When I Was Hired I Was Told To Do Everything... Even Though I Hate The Register And Talking To People Because They Activate My Anxiety Is Badly.. But I Do It Anyway's And Sux It Up... And Get It Done.. My Pain Level's Are Not A Joke 8-9.. Going On 10+ Then I Need To Go To The E.R... If I Do Get To The Point Where I Can No Longer Walk On My Own... Having Cerebral Palsy And Scoliosis Are Another Full-Time Job... Along With My Mental Health.. So Basically I Litterly Have 3 Full-Time Job's...I'm Just Soo Drained Right Now And In Pain... " × #chronic Pain#Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth ☆▪︎☆ SKADI ☆▪︎☆