Scoliosis

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Scoliosis
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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Gizzy4u2. I'm here because

#MightyTogether #Scoliosis I had a total spinal fusion with Harrington rods the last time was 1978.

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A little vent about my scoliosis

I found out I had scoliosis when I was 11 years old, when my aunt pointed out my uneven shoulder.
I was stupid enough to think that it wouldn't take a toll on me, I thought I could get better. But that was obviously because I wasn't yet aware of how serious it would be had I not done any proper exercise.

Ever since we were allowed to go to school again after the pandemic, that's when I became self conscious about my body, because the curve degree had increase.
Every time I go out, I would always wear baggy shirts or wear my pants high enough so that my odd curves are more subtle. Because my right waist are curvy and the left is straight, the pants or skirt I wear are always uncomfortable and uneven because the left side would easily slide down while the other stayed intact, ugh.
Not only that, but I've also become reluctant to go on a swim, and I love swimming I really do, but that means I have to wear tight clothes and I hate it when people see me. Still, I try to ignore it and have fun, but, god, swimming doesn't feel the same anymore :(.

It's gotten worse when I entered my senior year, by that I meant both my confidence and spine curves. It's when I realized just how much people like to look at people's body, judging them. Some of my friends often do that. They also like to wrap their hands around my waist to which I secretly hate because it made me feel self-conscious, but let them do so regardless because I'm touched starved like that. Thankfully, they never judged me or look at me in disgust. Still, I hate getting hugged around the waist (even though it's actually my favourite way of getting hug), because that's a reminder that I have an abnormal curve when I could've gone my entire day forgetting it exist.
Lately, I've also noticed how people's hips move when they walk and I wish mine did that.
And the fact that I'm crushing on someone only ever worsens my self esteem because why would he, an attractive man, date someone with scoliosis?
And it's so hard to even balance my body because I try my best to stand as straight as possible so that my curved wouldn't show, and all that effort would be gone once someone or something make me lose my balance.

I never really expressed this insecurity of mine to anyone, and even if I did it was always subtle. But I wish they knew how much I hate it when they mentioned my body, even as a joke. It's only okay when I started it first.
Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I try to accept how I look, but it's so hard. I wish I could get a surgery already, and finally feel like a normal person, but it's so expensive and risky. I can't even go to the gym or workout because of this.

I don't feel good about myself, I never did. It was all just fake and I'm sick of pretending it doesn't affect me at all.
#Scoliosis

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New Hashtags to Add to My Collection and a Question

I had MRI’s this week and found out I have yet more issues to add to my ever growing collection. Some I already knew I had, so this was just confirmation. Others are new. Are you ready? Here we go! 😂 These are all related to my cervical and lumbar spine. #Scoliosis , #Arthritis , #SpinalCanalNarrowing , #BoneInflamation , #SpinalStenosis , #bulgingdiscs , #PinchedNerve , one disc almost completely gone. Lots of fun stuff lol.

I’m being referred to a Neurosurgeon, most likely for #SpinalSurgery . I’ve had that before for an emergency spinal fusion, so I expect to be out of commission for awhile. Not sure how I’m going to make that happen. Being out of work for weeks or months, and no one to help me while I’m down. It’s a bit concerning, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it! (Trying to stay positive!)

Question for my Mighties! Have any of you ever heard of bone inflammation/infection? They said it’s not cancer, but what the heck is it? Medical term is #BoneMarrowEdema . Anyone know how that’s treated or what I can expect? Thanks in advance for any Mighty wisdom you may be able to offer!

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Years ago I came across this powerful phrase: Don't let the world make you bitter, be better ✨️

At that point in time I was bitter at how much I had lost. My teenage years were wasted in a hospital post surgeries and I was in a wheelchair and in so much pain, a LOT more than I had ever experienced. I was 15 and after school when my friends got to have fun, I had to go to physical therapy. I did love exercising so that wasn't what I was disenchanted with.
I saw these adults struggling and wincing in pain. They are weak! I thought in anger.

And then I saw this old lady who couldn't walk she hurt so bad she sobbed and they brought out a wheelchair for her since it was too painful. In that moment I saw myself. I had been there too. My mom had said "suck it up Tierra" "sometimes you just got to fake it til you make it"
Those phrases cost me so much. When she finally had bad pain, I told her the exact same thing, suddenly her attitude changed and she was much more charitable when it came to my pain. But that is a story for another day.

After watching that old lady hurt so bad, it hit me how awful I had been -even if it was only in my head. Later that day I came across that quote: Don't let the world make you bitter, be better!
I felt like it changed my DNA it was so perfectly timed! God helping change me for good ❤️

Don't let the world teach you to be cruel, because YOU are better than that. Dare to be optimistic and positive and spreading kindness around!

Have The Audacity To Hope 💕✨️✨️💖

#AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #bedbound #BoneSplints #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #JuvenileRheumatoidArthritis #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Psoriasis #PTSD #plantarfasciitis #PsoriaticArthritis #PanicAttack #PanicAttacks #Psychosis #MentalHealth #MemoryLoss #MightyTogether #Migraine #Grief #Headache #RareDisease #RheumatoidArthritis #SuicidalThoughts #Scoliosis #ShinSplints #sciatica #CheerMeOn #Upallnight #IfYouFeelHopeless #musclespasms

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This is something I still tell myself to help me get through the low and deep dark times in my life.

I don't have flares because my pain is CONSTANTLY level 10. It has been for many many years.
BUT no matter how small my good times are, they are worth waiting for.
The good and bad change. Different opportunities come. But we never know what life will bring! That is why we must fight on.

As a fellow Mighty advised me many years ago: If a cure comes tomorrow, won't you wish you had hung on one more day? 💕💕💕

#AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #bedbound #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #Grief #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #JuvenileRheumatoidArthritis #Lupus #Lymphedema #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #Psoriasis #PTSD #plantarfasciitis #PanicAttack #PanicAttacks #MentalHealth #MemoryLoss #MightyTogether #Migraine #RareDisease #RheumatoidArthritis #SuicidalThoughts #Scoliosis #ShinSplints #Psychosis #PsoriaticArthritis #BoneSplints

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is GigglyTriceratops78. I'm here because I'm trying to learn how to get my drs to understand what I mean about the pain from the Scoliosis. I have back pain but this is different pain. It causes my anxiety and depression to really take over. That's all for now

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #Migraine #Fibromyalgia #MultipleSclerosis

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