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Lost in grief

I've been told I hold myself very well together. That one wouldn't know what I've gone through, just by looking at me.
The hidden grief. The losses. The heartache. The love is still there.
I feel like I'm drowning in my own tears. I'm losing myself. Looking for help and it's not that it's not there. It's very limited. Especially when one goes through so much, it affects my physical health, too. I'm doing the best I can to take care of myself, as I try to reconnect with even my own self.
Please don't turn a blind eye on those who grieve and continue in doing so.
I've lost lots of loved ones to suicide, I've lost loved ones to murder, to cancer, and how many other ways I've lost ones who I can no longer see, wishing them the best. I've no stable past of living in one spot, it was tough keeping a job and I haven't worked in over a decade.
Does my grief define me? No. Does my loss define me? No.
As I sit and cry for I'm not sure what I'm crying for anymore, I must pick myself back up. As I continue to find self compassion, for self care, I'm learning to find my voice. I'm learning to get up and do what I can for the moment.
There's so much hurt in this world. The pain. The suffering. I am not alone and neither are you.
#PTSD #Suicide #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicideLossSurvivors #victimsforjustice #Anxiety #Support #CheckInWithMe #Depression #Grief