weekendfeelings

Sometimes I find it shameful to admit but the online world has been a massive help for me over the past decade or so. When I attended uni, I found it very hard to fit in even though I had a roommate, and I went out to parties and stuff. I had friends but was still lonely or bored a lot. I couldn't connect with them on a deep level. Back then, the Twilight movie had just come out. I watched it on a stream site. I was also learning a lot of new things through youtube videos that weren't exactly being discussed on campus or in the curriculum, things such as meditation, conspiracies, and a lot of other things. I also watched a lot of old timey psychological thriller type movies which I downloaded when pirating sites were big. Basically before the Netflix era. I got into Heroes and Supernatural and binged reality tv shows. I found them easier to talk about than about myself!

When I dropped out, and went back to my family and had a full time job, I got into Prison Break and Twilight Zone. I had online friends at this time that I kept in touch with on YahooIM (yup I am pretty old) who I could talk to about all sorts of things.They seemed to get me. I was also learning things like lucid dreaming. I got into Giz Edward's channel and the lucidology101 channel. Yeah I was really different!

I was pushed by family to go back to uni. At this time I was more of a hermit and didn't really bother with going out or joining clubs. I managed to watch all the black and white Twilight episodes and got into anthologies like Night gallery. I always looked forward to these a lot. Also funny youtube videos and skits

For the past 2 years, since my illness stopped me from working I became invested in gaming and using apps like Smule where you sing with strangers. I've had friends on and off, but I never felt like I could connect with them. I've been watching more Star Trek and Lets Players a lot..the big ones like Jacksepticeye, Pewdiepie, and KSI (when he played games.)

I also found some online communities that I felt understood by, and yet I have never met any of them in real life! I spoke to a lady with depression for a while whom I met off Google+ communities, another platform which was really good for people with mental illnesses to interact with people until they closed down :/. We helped each other a lot, till she wanted to be left alone :/. Now I am speaking to a lady as well on instagram. Not sure how long this interaction will last, but it's meaningful at least, better than trying to manage everything in my head. I'm a patreon for a youtube spiritual guru I watch. And I have been in a facebook group as well in the past for black women with depression who are isolated etc. And the Mighty community is so good as well.

Just thought I'd share this with you guys..Have a great weekend
#coping  #Internet   #SocialMedia #InternetFriends  #weekendfeelings

So for some reason my right side of my body just likes to give out on me. The pain is so sharp and stabbing . And most of the time I have to just lay or sit right where I'm at for a good 5 to 10 mins before it calms down. Even then 99% of the time i need help back up. I have talk to my PCP about this she ordered blood work but just thought I would ask yall. Has anyone dealt with this and mite have a idea on what to do or who to see anything? Any help would be great fully appreciated. I hope you a good of day. And thank you for taking time out of your day to read this. Sending soft hugs