peace

My heart is racing and there is a tightening in my chest. I can't breathe. I feel out of control and beyond scared. I am panicked. I feel lightheaded and dizzy. I have a headache. What's happening? I'm not manic. I never feel this way when I'm manic. I'm triggered. I try to picture myself in a safe place where my abusers aren't present but just the thought of them and what they did take over my mind and send me into a panic. I want to move past this. I want to enjoy things. So I have to shift my focus.

I don't think I'll ever move past all my triggers because some are unavoidable. I have to accept that and take it in stride. Therapy and medications can only manage the condition but I believe it is also a mindset. Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed I redirect my attention and thought challenge my negative thoughts. Sadly I tend to think the worst most of the time but if I just shift my focus to more positive things then I can work with my triggers. I can go to places that I want to go to.

If I choose to work with my triggers rather then against them then I can accomplish my goals. Shifting focus can also help me to see positives in life too. When my Bipolar Depression kicks in it makes it harder to see the positives. Even then I can find something to be grateful for.

Showing myself grace when I do get depressed and triggered is one of the ways I can help myself learn, heal and grow. I urge all of you to shift your focus and show yourself some grace. It's been 4 years of healing from years of abuse but the more I shift my focus the more I can accelerate my healing. I am no where near completely healed but I can say that I am getting there each day. I pray that all of you can do the same. Love and light to you all.

#PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #positive #Life #Healing #focus #Depression #Anxiety #triggers #TherapySkills #peace #Love #Spirirtuality

Lord I ask you to please bring your peace and comfort to each and everyone on this site. You know their pain. You know their wounds and I ask right now that you surround each and everyone of them with your presence. Please love on them in a way they've never known. Please heal their deepest hurts and give them the hope they so desperately need. Please let them know just how much you love them and just how valuable their lives are, not only to you, but also to this world. You are amazing Lord and I love you. In Jesus'precious name I pray. Amen. #peace #Comfort #Hope #Love #Healing #value #Valuable #Faith #god #Jesus #IntercessionforIllness #MightyTogether #TheMighty

Instead of using 'The Mighty' to weep and moan. Maybe... just maybe...I can use this site to better myself. It wont happen today and I don't expect it to happen tomorrow but there was once "Hope".

My initial thoughts after the "incident" were feelings of relief and hope for the future. The relief was short lived but I managed to remind myself that there was "hope" for me.

The relief was important because it signified rock bottom. It was only up from there... The difficulty for me was that I had come from the top; I just didn't know it at the time. I was forced to rebuild my life and it was incredibly difficult.

I have been picking up the pieces for over ten years trying to clear my name. My old friends were not willing to forgive me and my new friends ditched me & left me broken. I knew I had to change my life and stop the anti-social & self destructive behaviour.

I started to rebuild my life one thing at a time. I was still miserable, bitter and angry. My parents were supportive but didn't have the tools to help me.

I didn't even recognise myself and I had to learn to love myself. I wish I had the insight to realise that the solitude was a blessing and an opportunity for self-reflection. Instead of doing the work and bettering myself, I locked myself up and threw away the key.

I thought time would heal my trauma. Time has provided separation and offered me the opportunity for reflection. Unfortunately, I did not take the opportunity and continued with the same negative outlook towards life. I continued to look for external gratification to fill the void although I finally made the conscious decision not to go back for more punishment.

It's now time to start working and bettering myself. Learning new techniques and attending therapy to work through my anxiety, depression & self-loathing.

I am ready to start healing and setting myself up for the future. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself and want more out of life. I want genuine friendships & relationships without the need for alcohol and substance abuse.

It's going to be a long and difficult road but I am now willing to start the process of piecing myself back together little by little.

#Hope #future #Depression #Sadness #sad #up #down #TheMighty #MightyTogether #Friends #Connections #Family #reputation #Respect #Love #calm #peace #Spiritual #Anxiety #grateful #live

It’s hard been having a lot of anxious racing thoughts to more of an extreme lately I will try doing the worry timer exercise I’ve never tried before and noticing or talking in my mind a little less

It’s good to be self aware of your thoughts but I find lately I’m doing it to an extreme where I can’t stop them

And I’m not very active either
And very bad bedtime routine/ sleep schedules / diet etc

So I hope that adjusting some things will help my anxiousness and mental health right now.

Wish me luck! Thank you 🙏
Have a great day everyone sending positive vibes prayers of hope and love to everyone going through a tough time or needing that extra reminder :)
#anxiousness #nervous #Thoughts #Anxiety #maybeocd #DoingMyBest #Hope #coping #Meditation #emptymind #peace #luck

George Bernard Shaw said, “A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, ‘The one I feed the most’.”#Trauma #Love #TheMighty #MightyTogether #Lonliness #Sadness #Depression #Lonliness #self #Friends #Family #sad #Emotion #Life #MakeMeLaugh #Shame #Guilt #suffering #Pain #hurt #struggle #Happiness #peace #MightyMinute

I have a intrusive thoughts which infect my mind and make it difficult to concentrate. They start the minute I wake up and do not cease until I go back to sleep. I have many hobbies and try to keep my mind occupied but the evil thoughts replay over and over.

When I was physically assaulted over ten years ago I never thought that I would continue to experience flashbacks and trauma from the incident. I have been in fights before and thought it would become another distant memory of something unfortunate. My experience has been completely different and I am stuck in a never ending loop of sorrow and pity.

The attack causes me major mental health issues that I can't move on from. I am stuck in a negative cycle of pain and suffering. The image of the attack repeats in my mind. I see the faceless images of multiple attackers and the fear of reliving the incident is ever present. I am afraid of what's in store for me as I battle to focus on what's important.

It is difficult to describe the incident as it involves anger, betrayal and resentment. The only thing I know for sure is that it leaves me empty and insecure. These people purposefully sought to hurt me and they were successful.

I hate to say it but my mental health has deteriorated to the point where I am miserable. I hate my life and I am aware of the holes I keep digging are damaging me further. I blame my mother and father for a lot of my problems whether it is their fault or not. They did their best but had unrealistic expectations and when I was unable to achieve the impossible goals they had set for me I spiralled in to a deep depression.

This depression has followed me for years and the more I let it control my life - the more pain it causes me. I have never dealt with any of the negative emotions that fill my mind. I bottled everything up and pretended I was fine. I am at the point where I don't see anything improving and I want to hurt the few people I have left.

I really wish I could end on something positive but my life has become a merry go round of pain, sorrow and regret. I hate myself in more ways than one and I need help but the road to recovery is fraught with feelings of guilt and resentment.

EDIT: I am fully aware that my posts are very much a pity party. I am hurting inside and just desperately want to feel better.

#Depression #Misery #Sadness #hurt #Pain #TheMighty #MightyTogether #MentalHealth #feelings #unhappy #Relationships #Friendship #Love #Trauma #PTSD #challenges #Life #Death #advertisy #friend #peace #Emotion #flasback #Lettinggo #scar #regret #compassion #Thoughts #Mindfulness #Anxiety #reserved #Respect #peace