Alcohol Use Disorder

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    How I survived my early 20's with mental health challenges

    I spent my early 20’s battling with my Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis and my Substance Abuse Disorder.

    At 21 years old, I hit rock bottom. I was in a depressive episode that I couldn’t get out of, I lived in eternal darkness with no way out and no escape. I felt like I had no friends, no future, no family, nothing left, I felt the most alone I had ever felt.

    This when I started drinking so I could cope with the feelings of depression and the darkness I felt come over me. I drank everyday, just so I could function in school and work. This soon would escalate into an addiction to alcohol and drugs. Very soon after, I received my diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder Type 2, and everything began to make sense……

    Receiving this diagnosis meant I could put words to what I had been battling with in secrecy, the drastic highs and lows I had felt since I was a teenager finally had a name.

    I began receiving treatment for my Bipolar Disorder, a combination of therapy and medications that would save my life completely.

    However, because I had been medicating with alcohol and drugs this made it more difficult to treat my mood disorder, because the alcohol would diminish the potency of my mood stabilizers.

    After graduating from college, at 22 I went into rehab to treat my Substance Abuse Disorder. While in rehab, I was finally able to get clean for 6 weeks straight without relapsing. I felt so proud of myself and was determined to live a sober life.

    Going to rehab was the best thing that ever happened to me because I finally had the support and community to help me quit alcohol and drugs.

    I survived my early 20’s with mental health challenges by taking action and seeking help. Getting on the right medications and going to therapy made it possible for me to live a stable health life with my Bipolar Disorder and Substance Abuse Disorder.

    #BipolarDisorder #SubstanceUseDisorder #ADHD #AlcoholUseDisorder

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    Hitting Rock Bottom: Alcohol Use Disorder and Bipolar Disorder

    In May 2021, I hit rock bottom after I was rejected 13 times by law schools and went off all my meds. After I went off my meds my mood began to shift and I slipped into a mixed episode.

    My world came crashing down right in front of my eyes. My dreams of becoming an attorney were over. I was convinced I would never get into law school.

    This when the impulsive behavior started as my mood kept shifting I began drinking excessively and using drugs. I was a month away from graduating from college and I was on my path to self-destruction. I wanted to destroy myself so I did by excessively drinking, using drugs, and partying everyday.

    Within a span of two weeks I had run into trouble with the law and was almost arrested three times in a row because I was high on drugs and intoxicated. This was my rock bottom. I had gone off all meds and was almost arrested three times. I was about to lose the one thing I had going for me: graduating from college.

    At my lowest point I had realized what I had done to myself and I was filled with shame and guilt. As someone who grew-up being a perfectionist and high-achiever in school I could not believe everything I had done.

    Two years later, I now live a sober life that is very clean and healthy. I could not ever imagine going off my mood stabilizers again, I learned my lesson. I now realize that hitting rock bottom was a wake-up call for me that has now helped me stay on the path to recovery from all addictions.

    For those of you struggling with an addiction, just know that you are not alone in this struggle. We just do it in silence because of the shame we feel. If you are battling with an addiction, speak about it. You will be surprised to find out that many of us too are struggling with an addiction. You are not alone, I promise. #Bipolar #SubstanceAbuse

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    I wish people understood.

    I’ve had very bad experiences with alcoholism and I’ve been trying to stay sober.
    I feel like my friends don’t understand how hard it is for me to stay sober.
    How easily triggered I get.

    The last time I got blackout drunk was in November.
    But I want to do it again.
    And I want to do it every time alcohol is even mentioned.

    I can’t go to events that have alcohol because I will be tempted to drink or I’ll have the negative feeling inside my chest of craving drinks.

    I miss drinking.
    And I’m struggling staying away.
    But I don’t feel like anyone near me knows how I’m feeling. How bad I’m struggling.

    “Congrats on being sober”
    “Easy”

    It’s not.

    #AlcoholAbuse #AlcoholUseDisorder #Alcoholism #Sobriety

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    How Does Alcohol Addiction Manifest?

    Alcohol addiction is a disease that can affect anyone at any time in their lives. The cause of alcohol addiction is unknown, yet research has shown that the cause can be genetic, psychological, or other factors that may affect your mental and physical health. Like any addiction, alcohol addiction is a severe disease that can manifest changes in the brain. Like cocaine, alcohol addiction can produce dopamine, which plays an essential role in providing pleasure.

    Those who struggle with alcohol addiction cannot control how they act and communicate with others around them. It became so prevalent for people to consume alcohol in any circumstances that it’s hard to guess who’s even addicted. Read further to learn how alcohol addiction manifests.

    alcohol use disorder

    Alcohol abuse or alcohol addiction is also known as alcohol use disorder. Usually, it occurs when someone drinks too much that the body becomes addicted. For people with this disorder, alcohol is one of the essential things in life. Most of them can’t see their happiness anymore if they don’t have 2 or 3 drinks. Many people are aware of their alcohol addiction, but they don’t struggle to stop drinking because they like it so much. alcohol use disorder, sometimes called alcoholism, involves people who can’t control their drinking anymore, being preoccupied with drinking at any moment of the day. However, the effect will diminish over time, so the amount of alcohol will increase to feel the same effect. If you find yourself at the risk of developing an alcohol addiction, make sure you take measures and go to a rehab center to get your addiction treatment Los Angeles. It doesn’t matter if your alcohol use is mild; it can range from minor to severe. So, early treatment is necessary.

    Risk Factors

    Alcohol use may appear in adolescence, but an alcohol addiction usually appears ion the 20s or 30s. However, it’s possible to appear at any age. Here are the risk factors that can influence your alcohol use:

    Trauma – people that suffered traumas at an early age are likely to become addicted to alcohol.

    depression – is common for those who suffer from depression to develop an alcohol addiction or other harmful substances.

    • Family problems – children that grew up in families with alcoholic parents are likely to become addicted at a young age.

    • Steady drinking – drinking too much with no reason for a long period can lead to an alcohol use disorder.

    Symptoms of alcohol use disorder

    These symptoms usually appear due to many bad experiences. People with alcohol use disorder can experience behaviors, such as:

    • Missing work because they are hangover due to too much drinking.

    • Not being able to control their need for alcohol.

    • Enjoying spending time all alone to drink.

    • Not taking proper care of themselves anymore.

    • Having a high tolerance for drinking alcohol.

    • Developing angry and violent behaviors due to their drinking habits.

    To avoid developing an alcohol addiction, it’s important to determine these symptoms before. If you have a family relative or a friend with an alcohol disorder, make sure that you put all of your efforts into trying to convince them to go to rehab. Otherwise, their overall health might be damaged.

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    Yay! There’s a name for it!

    Ohhhhh!!! 🤦‍♂️ There’s a name for it!

    #AlcoholUseDisorder

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    Back to bad habits #Selfharm #AlcoholUseDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    Yesterday was really really bad. My husband is back to work full time so I’m working from home by myself. I’ve been secretly drinking, on and off, the past few weeks and yesterday I hit rock bottom. I drank, self harmed, and other unhealthy coping behaviors, it wasn’t life-threatening but still the worst I’ve done since I had to go to the ER last October. I didn’t really want to do this, I just became someone else, the “other me”, the darkest part of myself and all the harm was automatic. My husband is stressed with work and doesn’t notice until my “odd” moods effect him (as long as I make dinner and clean towels are available). I was kind of glad that my headache escalated to migraine and I could stay in bed all evening and not interact. I just laid in bed, in misery and self-hate, accepting the excruciating pain and nausea added to my guilt, shame, and fresh self harm. My misery led to deep reflections and ultimately a long-overdue prayer to God, hanging on to the last thread of faith I somehow still have. I’m not ready to share this with my husband, not sure I will, but I know I have the support of my Mightys.

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    First Meeting

    I attended my first virtual AA meeting tonight. Wish there were in person ones in my area still going. I think it would have been better to be there in person but I’m glad I took time for the meeting tonight. I want to stop drinking... most days. Still on the journey to figuring out how far down this hole I am and how to climb back out again. But tonight was a step. A step I’m proud of. Wanted to share 🙂 Happy mental health awareness month y’all. It’s also my birthday month yay! ☺️

    #AlcoholUseDisorder #AA #PTSD