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Mindfulness 101: How to Stay Focused

Many people think meditation means clearing your mind completely, but that is not the goal. The goal is noticing when your attention drifts and gently bringing it back. That process is what strengthens focus, reduces stress, and builds awareness over time. Even a few minutes a day can make a meaningful difference in how your mind responds to stress and distraction.

Have you ever tried meditation, and if so, what did you find most difficult about it?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how to deal with painful thoughts. So if you or anyone you know is struggling and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions you want me to answer:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

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How Trauma Shapes Us By BigmommaJ The Invisible Weight Many People Carry

You can’t always see trauma.

It doesn’t always show up as bruises or broken bones.

Sometimes it shows up as anxiety that never seems to quiet down. Sometimes it shows up as addiction. Sometimes it shows up as pushing people away before they can hurt you.

Trauma often hides in the thoughts we carry about ourselves:

“I’m not good enough.”
“I can’t trust anyone.”
“Something must be wrong with me.”

For many individuals, trauma becomes something they wear every day—shaping how they see the world, how they connect with others, and how they survive.

Understanding trauma is not only essential for healing individuals; it is critical for transforming the systems that support them, including mental health services, addiction treatment, and child welfare.

Understanding Trauma

Trauma occurs when a person experiences events that overwhelm their ability to cope and leave lasting emotional, psychological, or physical effects.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines trauma as experiences that are emotionally harmful or life-threatening and have lasting adverse effects on functioning and well-being (SAMHSA, 2014).

Trauma can take many forms, including:

*Childhood abuse or neglect

*Domestic violence

*Exposure to addiction in the home

*Systemic discrimination

*Chronic instability or loss

For many individuals involved in mental health, addiction services, or child welfare systems, trauma is not a single event. It is often complex and cumulative, developing over time through repeated exposure to adversity.

Trauma Changes the Brain

Trauma does not just affect emotions—it affects biology.

When a person experiences danger, the body activates its survival response: fight, flight, or freeze. Stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline surge to prepare the body to respond.
While this response is adaptive in moments of immediate danger, chronic exposure to trauma can keep the nervous system in a prolonged state of survival.

Research shows trauma affects several critical areas of the brain:

*The amygdala, which processes fear, becomes overactive, increasing hypervigilance.

*The hippocampus, responsible for memory processing, may become impaired.

*The prefrontal cortex, which regulates decision-making and emotional control, can become less effective under chronic stress (van der Kolk, 2014).

Canadian research has also emphasized the long-term developmental effects of early adversity. Studies suggest that chronic childhood stress can disrupt neurological development and increase vulnerability to mental health disorders later in life (McEwen & McEwen, 2017).

Understanding these changes helps shift our perspective.

Instead of asking “What is wrong with this person?” we begin asking “What happened to this person?”

Trauma, Addiction, and Mental Health

The relationship between trauma and addiction is well established.

Many individuals struggling with substance use are not simply seeking escape or pleasure. They are often attempting to regulate overwhelming emotional pain.

The landmark Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study found that individuals who experienced multiple forms of childhood adversity were significantly more likely to develop substance use disorders, depression, suicide attempts, and chronic health conditions later in life (Felitti et al., 1998).

Canadian public health research reflects similar findings. The Public Health Agency of Canada has reported strong connections between childhood trauma, exposure to violence, and later mental health and substance use challenges (Public Health Agency of Canada, 2020).

For many individuals, addiction becomes a coping mechanism—an attempt to numb memories, quiet intrusive thoughts, or regulate emotional pain.

Understanding this connection is essential for compassionate and effective care.

Trauma Within Systems

Trauma is not only an individual experience—it is also shaped by social systems.

Across Canada, research shows that children involved in child welfare systems often have extensive histories of trauma, including exposure to abuse, neglect, family violence, and parental substance use (Esposito et al., 2017).

Yet systems designed to support vulnerable populations are not always trauma-informed.
Without understanding trauma, behaviours may be misinterpreted as:

*Defiance

*Manipulation

*Resistance

*Non-compliance

In reality, many of these behaviours are survival responses.

Trauma-informed approaches emphasize safety, empowerment, trust, and collaboration rather than punishment or judgment (Poole & Greaves, 2012). When systems adopt trauma-informed frameworks, individuals are more likely to engage in services and experience meaningful healing.

Personal Reflection

Trauma is something many people carry quietly.

Through both my professional work and my own life experiences, I have seen how trauma can shape people in ways the outside world rarely understands.

I have seen individuals labelled as “difficult,” “attention-seeking,” or “non-compliant,” when what they were really experiencing was unprocessed pain.

I have also seen how trauma can intertwine with addiction and mental health struggles, creating cycles that are incredibly difficult to break—especially when systems respond with judgment instead of compassion.

Healing does not happen because someone is told to “move on” or “be stronger.”

Healing happens when people feel safe enough to finally be understood.

Recovery is not about pretending trauma never happened. It is about learning how to process it, make meaning of it, and reclaim parts of ourselves that trauma tried to silence.

And sometimes the most powerful part of healing is realizing this:

You are not broken.
You adapted to survive.

Moving Forward: A Call for Compassion and Change

Trauma shapes people—but it does not have to define them.

When we begin to understand trauma, something shifts.
Shame begins to loosen its grip.
Judgment begins to soften.
And compassion begins to take its place.

But healing cannot happen through awareness alone.
Our communities, mental health systems, addiction services, and child welfare systems must move toward trauma-informed care—approaches that recognize the profound impact of trauma and respond with empathy rather than punishment.

Because when we stop asking “What is wrong with this person?” and start asking “What happened to this person?” we open the door to healing.

That shift has the power to transform lives.

It is also the foundation of the work I hope to continue through Rise Above Your Norm—creating spaces where people are seen, understood, and supported as they rebuild their lives.

Because healing is possible.
And no one should have to do it alone.

BigmommaJ
#MentalHealth #traumainformed #Healing

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august 3, 2019 over and over and over

a new day. the same sky. a new month. the same pain. a new year… how long has it been since you choose suicide mom? doesn't even matter anymore.

#MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Suicide #Anxiety #Depression #Grief #Addiction #Parenting #Selfharm #BipolarDisorder

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Zuzu's Petals and other little reasons I stayed

#Addiction #SubstanceUseDisorders #recover

Look, I'm the last person you should be taking advice from so don't.

You'll just end up drunk.

But this isn't really advice in any form anyway. It's more of a cautionary tale with a ... if not a happy ending exactly, at least one that most days leaves me feeling pretty content.

For one thing, I’ve spent a good portion of my life completely lost—and not the romantic kind of lost that poets write about. I mean the real kind. The kind where you wake up one day and realize you’ve wandered so far away from the person you thought you were supposed to be that you’re not sure there’s a way back.

Being lost has always been my specialty. It’s an odd thing to be good at, but I’ve practiced it for years.

Quietly.

Thoroughly.

And with impressive commitment.

And the strange part is that, from the outside, it didn’t look that way at all. From the outside, my life had all the right pieces: a marriage, children, the things people point to when they talk about a well-built life.

But inside, something was wrong with me.

There was a dull, persistent emptiness—like a low-grade fever of dissatisfaction humming underneath everything. A background noise that never quite shut off. I felt like I was always waiting for the next big thing. Some imaginary moment when something exciting enough, loud enough, meaningful enough would happen to distract me from the quiet truth sitting underneath it all.

That I was bored with my own life.

Unbearably unhappy.

And deeply, painfully alone.

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How to Move Forward When You Don’t Know What to Do

Feeling stuck often comes from thinking you need to have everything figured out before you take action. In reality, clarity rarely comes first. It usually comes after you start moving. When you take even one small step, you begin learning, building confidence, and creating momentum. That momentum is what reduces overthinking and helps you move forward. You don’t need the full plan. You just need the next step.

What is one small action you’ve been putting off that you could start today?

If you want to learn more about this, check out my video by clicking on one of the links below.

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

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