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    #Memory Disfunction and Bipolar 1 with psychosis and delusions

    #im beginning to doubt my memories of past abuse. My memories have been so severely affected by my Bipolar 1 with psychosis and my BPD. I’m on so much medication and have been for years. There is proof, physical proof, that my memories of past abuse could not have happened. I’m devastated that my disease has caused me to accuse people of terrible things when I’m finally able to accept, because of being presented with physical evidence that the abuse couldn’t have happened. I’ve apologized, but so much hurt and damage has been done. #False Memories. I wish I could take all my accusations back!

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    Giving those with Alzheimer’s a place to share and support one another. #alzheimers support #Memory loss #Depression #Anxiety #Dementia

    I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 4 years ago. I was looking for a support group for individuals with Alzheimer’s or other Dementias. There are a lot of support groups for the caregivers but not for those with the diagnosis. So now you, the diagnosis person, can find support with like minded people. We may have the diagnosis but we still have a lot to say and contribute! So please join me on our journey together! We are “Alzheimer’s Support” on The Mighty. 😁

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    What is one of your fondest memories?

    Living with PTSD can be exhausting. Sometimes it's nice to reflect back on memories that make us happy, those moments where time feels suspended and we felt like we were floating on a cloud.

    For me, one of those moments was when I got the opportunity to meet Céline Dion after a show in Las Vegas. She was in her car about to leave the theater when she stopped to take photos and sign autographs for the 40 or so people who had congregated outside of the theater. I happened to be one of them. She wished me a happy birthday, signed the poster I had made and then I reached in to the car to put my arm around her and got an amazing photo. She was kind, generous and absolutely lovely. Whenever I need a pick me up or a reminder of a time that didn't suck, this is the memory I conjure in my mind.

    What is your fondest memory?

    #Trauma #PTSD #Memory #Memories

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    What is your favorite comfort food?

    Thought I'd lighten things up around here for a couple of days. Food has the capacity to transport us from one moment to another. It can tell a story and completely shift our mood. And it's one of the most meaningful ways to connect to others, which is why I love being a chef.

    One of my favorite comfort foods is a good pizza. Thin crust, fresh mozzarella, some fresh basil, good tomatoes and mushrooms. My mouth is watering and it's only 9am.

    What is your favorite food or foods? What story does it tell or what memory does it recapture for you?

    #PTSD #CPTSD #Trauma #Food #comfortfood #Memory

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    What is implicit vs explicit memory?

    One of the key determinants in how a flashback is experienced has to do with the age at which a traumatic event occurred. Pre-verbal children do not possess the ability to create conscious narrative memories and therefore most of their experiences are stored as implicit or unconscious memories. These tend to manifest in emotional or somatic flashbacks. Once someone has the language to describe a traumatic event, an explicit or conscious memory can be stored, which can lead to experiencing visual detailed flashbacks of the traumatic experience.

    For example, my parents divorced when I was three years old. I don’t remember my dad leaving but to this day I have a deep anxiety about abandonment that literally feels like a child inside of me grasping for an absent parent (implicit). In contrast, my sexual abuse began at an older age where I was very much conscious of it happening and thus I can experience flashbacks that are like watching a movie (explicit).

    How does implicit and explicit memory factor into your experience with flashbacks?

    #Trauma #PTSD #Flashbacks #triggers #CPTSD #Memory

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    Anyone else struggling with #Depression , #Anxiety , and peri #menopause symptoms?

    I’m such a mess. I don’t know up from down. #confused easily. #Memory is awful. #BrainFog . Crying. And I’m soooo emotionally sensitive. I’m pretty quiet about all this with friends and family. Right now I just want to tell you guys because I feel safe here. Thank you

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    I know you're with me

    With every bird that flutters closeby like my personal guardian from an invisible darkness I know it's you here with me.
    With every butterfly I see flying to me like it's personal flower waiting for me to bloom , I know its you here with me
    With every rose that blooms so bright like a new beacon of hope and happiness, I know its you here with me.
    Every time I hear a song that reminds me of you on my hard days I know you are here with me
    With every rainbow I see I know you are here with me like its your own personal highway to watch over us
    In every moment of every day I know you are here with us watching over us from heaven.
    To my angel brothers, I know you are here with me and I hope you hear me too.

    R.I.P Sam Stephens 20/12/2004
    R.I.P. Rylan Charles Butcher 29/08/2009

    With babyloss awareness week coming up I decided to write this. If you read it all thank you. If you have any feedback that would be magical. And if you've been through this I'm so sorry

    #babyloss #awarenss #Family #Memory #writtenword

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    Does anyone have Memory Gaps?

    I have C-PTSD and feel like Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap - I have a Swiss cheese memory full of holes.

    As time goes on I realise there is so much I have forgotten, or more likely blocked out. Recently I reconnected with a childhood friend and were reminiscing about our school days. He asked me if I remembered all the time we spent at my house playing video games - wait - what?? Did we? I don't remember that! I didn't say that of course; smiled and said yes, it was loads of fun.

    Confusion and anxiety descended on me and I became distracted. I wracked my brain trying to picture him in my house, in the bedroom where the old NES was. Nope. Nothing. Just a very hazy picture of me playing with my brother. I know in my bones that he was telling the truth but it just wasn't there.

    A while ago I said to my mental health team that I am good at forgetting. As time goes on that gets more and more evident and troubling. A particularly horrific repressed memory re-surfaced during EMDR recently. I describe it as something not that I have forgotten but something I didn't know about because it just wasn't there, but I again know in my bones that it is absolutely true.

    I am left wondering what else is buried in the murky depths in my brain where the bad things are locked away. I am certain there is more. I am desperate to know what a 'normal' memory is like. How do people remember the narrative of their life and their childhood? What does it look like?

    Does anyone else feel like this?

    #CPTSD #Trauma #Memory #Repressed Memory

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    Should I stay or should I go?

    OK I am 31 years old and I want to change my life.

    What is more important, happiness or comfort?

    I dont want to do my job anymore. However, if I quit my job I will want to move to another state.

    I want a new adventure. I want to pursue my happiness.

    What would you do? Leave a job that provides what you need or go the minimalist life style but build life time memories? #Depression #existentialcrisis #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Memory

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    Remembering situations differently than my boyfriend? #Memory #Relationships #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    My bf is remembering situations different than me and I feel like im going insane. He says I am manipulating him, playing games, and contradicting myself. I don't even know anymore.

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