I’ve been feeling as flat and dull as stale soda. Labeling feelings sometimes helps. Anhedonia is a lack of pleasure in things you normally enjoy. Apathy is a dearth of motivation. I think this is both. But then I wonder- is this a First World problem? Is it a luxury to feel heavy and detached rather than terrified of threats to survival? No, you can acknowledge a cold even though it’s not cancer. And deep inside, I know this will pass.
I wrote this poem:
Everywhere I look, there’s only beige
Trying to surf where there aren’t any waves
Flying a flag that’s sagging and frayed
Helpless, I watch my colors all fade
I was a butterfly, floating so free
Crawling again- how can this be?
Flat prairie land as far as I see
Tires deflated; no racing for me
What kind of force has clipped my wings?
But this isn’t tragic; just one of those things
A shift in the weather- that’s when my heart sings
The glittering hope to which my soul clings.
(Stock photo)
#Bipolar #Depression #GAD #OCD # PTSD