Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

Bout to start my day after our morning chitchat therapy.And ge will be home in an hour.I need to not get baited, provoked by his voice and remember who I am.He wanted me to become this demented, angry bitter person.Questioning,it,my reality while he sat there.I tried to take a picture.This isn't a matter of oh she knew so she is faking it.It is is this actually happening? I Will Never forgive them,if they did that to me,they'd do it to anyone.I used to be mandated reporter, because of principles and integrity.im ashamed for them, not me.I turned to someone I knew, sober, felt trust and, well now I know, a relationship that was in my head.He knew the daily calls, the two weeks coffees were leading.I will never forget this last two years.Their worste, shown and mine purposefully brought to the surface.Sick.

Bout to start my day after our morning chitchat therapy.And ge will be home in an hour.I need to not get baited, provoked by his voice and remember who I am.He wanted me to become this demented, angry bitter person.Questioning,it,my reality while he sat there.I tried to take a picture.This isn't a matter of oh she knew so she is faking it.It is is this actually happening? I Will Never forgive them,if they did that to me,they'd do it to anyone.I used to be mandated reporter, because of principles and integrity.im ashamed for them, not me.I turned to someone I knew, sober, felt trust and, well now I know, a relationship that was in my head.He knew the daily calls, the two weeks coffees were leading.I will never forget this last two years.Their worste, shown and mine purposefully brought to the surface.Sick.

I no longer want to be pacified, played,excused.Let me be please.I am over waiting,being made,punished, I'm through,with all of it.Have at it.Im staying until I get what I deserve.My son and I have been taught we aren't enough again.He never did anything for us but let us know how it wasn't what he really wanted.We weren't his choice.For her either.Have eachother.

I no longer want to be pacified, played,excused.Let me be please.I am over waiting,being made,punished, I'm through,with all of it.Have at it.Im staying until I get what I deserve.My son and I have been taught we aren't enough again.He never did anything for us but let us know how it wasn't what he really wanted.We weren't his choice.For her either.Have eachother.

Doesnt mean I can't learn or that,I feel https://less.I didnt know until I completely, let go of it. I can go to ten therapists, it won't change my heart and https://soul.I am not a mean, angry,bitter hard woman, IT was my upbringing,my tbi,my trauma,my https://denial.Hurt people hurt https://people.That was never me before that https://year.I work everyday trying to find my way https://back.I now know There is no back, no us and I will accept it one https://day.I lost and I didn't want this to be what was https://presented.I wanted to be better, some how fixed,but I know that isn't https://real.I will forget again, hit another wall of memories and have to begin https://again.The only difference will be whos not pretending to be there.no difference in my past four years, other than now I https://know.And I can be alone with that,I'm good.I'd rather than where I've been.

Doesnt mean I can't learn or that,I feel https://less.I didnt know until I completely, let go of it. I can go to ten therapists, it won't change my heart and https://soul.I am not a mean, angry,bitter hard woman, IT was my upbringing,my tbi,my trauma,my https://denial.Hurt people hurt https://people.That was never me before that https://year.I work everyday trying to find my way https://back.I now know There is no back, no us and I will accept it one https://day.I lost and I didn't want this to be what was https://presented.I wanted to be better, some how fixed,but I know that isn't https://real.I will forget again, hit another wall of memories and have to begin https://again.The only difference will be whos not pretending to be there.no difference in my past four years, other than now I https://know.And I can be alone with that,I'm good.I'd rather than where I've been.