Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

He, has an ultrasound this https://a.m.For the https://liver.Im https://petrified.I am unaware, of whats happening with his health https://now.A year of being confused, gaslit and thrown, up and down, I dont know whats really transpired. It is
clearer now. Ive watched him transform, into someoneelse, on https://purpose.I actually am scared and dont know what he's been doing to https://himself.I try to provide healthy food, ask him to walk and he still is looking around for help from https://outsiders.I did, my own https://wrongs.I know how wrong that https://was.But he has dozens and now I am sitting here scared out of me mind, then I'll be sitting in the waiting, in a waiting room, for a tech to call him in. A Test, a bet? WTF, I am, left in the dark, constantly. Im using all my therapy,everything, everyday to keep this marriage alive and https://grow.If that means, he leaves me, I want him https://happy.I would never, do to, him, what they've done, never. We were happy until he lost his best friend and then I went, and he didnt care because, well, he wasn't in love with me. I dont think he has ever been. Maybe with her.
I know that https://now.He was pressured to marry me, all for https://looks.What story would she, have to tell? All of it, the house, the $$, the vehicles, the control she https://had.All for https://tea.All of https://it.He never changed, his https://patterns.Mine came back after getting kicked in the head and his, they were always there. I never planned on watching him destroy this from the onside out.Why? He was my world and never deserved it.

He, has an ultrasound this https://a.m.For the https://liver.Im https://petrified.I am unaware, of whats happening with his health https://now.A year of being confused, gaslit and thrown, up and down, I dont know whats really transpired. It is
clearer now. Ive watched him transform, into someoneelse, on https://purpose.I actually am scared and dont know what he's been doing to https://himself.I try to provide healthy food, ask him to walk and he still is looking around for help from https://outsiders.I did, my own https://wrongs.I know how wrong that https://was.But he has dozens and now I am sitting here scared out of me mind, then I'll be sitting in the waiting, in a waiting room, for a tech to call him in. A Test, a bet? WTF, I am, left in the dark, constantly. Im using all my therapy,everything, everyday to keep this marriage alive and https://grow.If that means, he leaves me, I want him https://happy.I would never, do to, him, what they've done, never. We were happy until he lost his best friend and then I went, and he didnt care because, well, he wasn't in love with me. I dont think he has ever been. Maybe with her.
I know that https://now.He was pressured to marry me, all for https://looks.What story would she, have to tell? All of it, the house, the $$, the vehicles, the control she https://had.All for https://tea.All of https://it.He never changed, his https://patterns.Mine came back after getting kicked in the head and his, they were always there. I never planned on watching him destroy this from the onside out.Why? He was my world and never deserved it.

Have you ever, regretted a decision, to not quit, something?
I should have https://stayed.I should have bought https://it.I should have lived?I should have said...I have
Rejected truth and the obvious, to give space for a, third option, forth, fifth option.
To, not decide, to go with it, see where it goes, with intention and action, only.
What if it turns out.
To act on positive emotion, only.
With loving https://intention.But real this time. All perspectives.
I had done that.Waited, watched and yes, https://regretted.Saw the dependence, thought I was lost, gone, https://helpless.No point trying when I knew, it wasn't going to be addressed, ever.
You bringing, my past mistakes,back, to teach me some lesson.
You had no right, outing anyone, no one. I asked you to leave me alone. Who, has that right?Who does that?
To put myself, my son and others, again, on shame, is https://disgusting.We were, all, we had, at one https://point.Two people, who hurt us, over and over again.I'm ashamed of myself and, for others who felt they could not come directly to me and those who have been used.

Have you ever, regretted a decision, to not quit, something?
I should have https://stayed.I should have bought https://it.I should have lived?I should have said...I have
Rejected truth and the obvious, to give space for a, third option, forth, fifth option.
To, not decide, to go with it, see where it goes, with intention and action, only.
What if it turns out.
To act on positive emotion, only.
With loving https://intention.But real this time. All perspectives.
I had done that.Waited, watched and yes, https://regretted.Saw the dependence, thought I was lost, gone, https://helpless.No point trying when I knew, it wasn't going to be addressed, ever.
You bringing, my past mistakes,back, to teach me some lesson.
You had no right, outing anyone, no one. I asked you to leave me alone. Who, has that right?Who does that?
To put myself, my son and others, again, on shame, is https://disgusting.We were, all, we had, at one https://point.Two people, who hurt us, over and over again.I'm ashamed of myself and, for others who felt they could not come directly to me and those who have been used.

Have you ever been held to a seperate standard? A double standard? I put myself in others situations with empathy and I never, end up with the conclusions, they https://do.I am open minded, have strong opinions and am passionate about experiences, that have effect and https://impact.Ive been told I overshare, I one up a story or have no shame, proud of that one. Talk too much.
Im trying to openly relate. That is all. I had to learn, to not trust and that is, the saddest lesson forced upon https://me.A mob, mentality, serves me nothing.Ecspecially, how bad it was executed, presented and unnecessary.

Some need to step outside, to have in clearer, picture within.
And expressing that, is not to hurt others, it is to speak to resolve, to not https://repeat.And it doesn't stop,because someone else decides,"that is enough".
Punishing me, for defending myself, is https://pointless.Digging up my past mistakes, laughable and too https://late.I own my life, did it,paid my way, worked, did the grind, just as everyone else, above and beyond, for years.They, didnt want me.
I was not enough, for them, not me.
They, rejected https://me.I was voted out, but never told 😆.For years 😆 🤣, dismissed.
Nothing https://new.I don't tell stories or gossip then deny, but I know alot of people, who don not want me, tell their secrets.
I keep others https://secrets.I dont blackmail people, threaten, intimidate or place bets on peoples lives for https://sport.Mocking to hurt is gross.

Her exact words, We had to, because you would have, told them, who we were, first.

You, all showed him, triangulated him, again.
Thank https://you.We were, only reminded.

Have you ever been held to a seperate standard? A double standard? I put myself in others situations with empathy and I never, end up with the conclusions, they https://do.I am open minded, have strong opinions and am passionate about experiences, that have effect and https://impact.Ive been told I overshare, I one up a story or have no shame, proud of that one. Talk too much.
Im trying to openly relate. That is all. I had to learn, to not trust and that is, the saddest lesson forced upon https://me.A mob, mentality, serves me nothing.Ecspecially, how bad it was executed, presented and unnecessary.

Some need to step outside, to have in clearer, picture within.
And expressing that, is not to hurt others, it is to speak to resolve, to not https://repeat.And it doesn't stop,because someone else decides,"that is enough".
Punishing me, for defending myself, is https://pointless.Digging up my past mistakes, laughable and too https://late.I own my life, did it,paid my way, worked, did the grind, just as everyone else, above and beyond, for years.They, didnt want me.
I was not enough, for them, not me.
They, rejected https://me.I was voted out, but never told 😆.For years 😆 🤣, dismissed.
Nothing https://new.I don't tell stories or gossip then deny, but I know alot of people, who don not want me, tell their secrets.
I keep others https://secrets.I dont blackmail people, threaten, intimidate or place bets on peoples lives for https://sport.Mocking to hurt is gross.

Her exact words, We had to, because you would have, told them, who we were, first.

You, all showed him, triangulated him, again.
Thank https://you.We were, only reminded.