dating with a chronic illness

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dating with a chronic illness
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Loss and loneliness

I have so many changes in life right now that it feels crazy. Some good, some bad, some that can't be labeled yet. My grandma passed away on Halloween, her birthday. She was one of my best friends and people I was closest with. The grief and hurt is insurmountable. I know it will take time for that to lessen. She was a wonderful person who loved deeply.

On another note:
I live with my parents currently. I had moved in to get back on my feet after a divorce and increased health issues. That was a blessing in disguise as their health is going down hill and I can be there for them, even though I struggle a lot with chronic pain and other llnesses (NF1, depression, anxiety, asthma, possible others). We get along really well and always have. But I miss having a special person. A partner that I can share each other's day, joy, grief, and everything else. It feels so difficult to find someone and connect with my health and living arrangements. I have often not felt secure or important enough in many past relationships. I long for that safety and often take relationships ending as there is something wrong with me. I think part of that is explained by severe bullying by kids when I was young. And partners not following through on some promises or giving certainty in their words when it mattered. I miss having a partner (girlfriend). It can be hard to open up to the possibility of love with security and certainty because I fear losing a partner because of stuff in my past. I know having multiple chronic illnesses complicates that for finding someone. Does anyone else experience these feelings or struggles with relationships? Is there a way that helped facilitate dating for you? What gave you hope? Sorry for this being a long and maybe sad post but I really need connection and some insight. Thank you all.

#ChronicPain #Neurofibromatosis #NeurofibromatosisType1 #Depression #Anxiety #Grief #Romance #ChronicIllness #DatingWithAChronicIllness

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Meow I'm a cat #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Just reaching out to my community. Is anyone trying to navigate the dating world with bpd? I reach out obsessively and make connections and experience regular heart ache but the intention is pure, trying to find love, I just struggle so hard getting to know people and being seen. Thanks for being there #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #DatingWithAChronicIllness #DBTSkillsCoaching

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What are your health-related dating dealbreakers?

Did you read this story in USA Today about mental health and dating?

The cliff notes version: One dating app (Hinge) found that 88% of singles prefer to date someone who goes to therapy. This got me thinking about what other health-related dealbreakers you have (which may be even more relevant since we’re now entering our third year of the pandemic).

💔 P.S. Your answer may be used in a story on The Mighty.

#DatingWithAChronicIllness #OnlineDating #Relationships #SexAndRelationships #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Disability #RareDisease #ChronicIllness #CheckInWithMe

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To new begainings (dating101)

To finally say I am over it . and putting in the glove. To a new beigaining in life a new thing of taking things slower this timetime. Learning to trust Some one you barely know to new friendships and understandings. What is can you give me on advice about dating ? #DatingWithAChronicIllness


Feeling hard to love

I've been sick for two weeks now from POTS...I mean not being able to walk without almost passing out, not being able to eat, and constantly exhausted kind of sick.
Right before my most recent flare up, my partner and I decided to take a break.
The break is because of me. They can't handle my flare ups that keep me from living my life and I honestly don't know how to handle it.
On one hand, I want to be the perfect partner who can go out and do things without being exhausted or getting stopped by pain, on the other hand I'm so mentally and physically exhausted that even thinking of doing normal relationship things exhaust me.
I'm 37... And lately feeling overwhelmed with being a single Mom on SSI. My self worth is low and knowing that I'm such a difficult person to be with because of my illnesses is... Breaking my heart. #LivingWithPOTS #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Bipolar2Disorder #exhausted #DatingWithAChronicIllness

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OK GOD, I GUESS IT'S STILL ME AND MY CAT!! #DatingWithAChronicIllness #datingdisabilities

So it was all going so well! I had downloaded about four apps that are all marketed towards the kind of lasting love that I am hoping to find. I was juggling chats , texts, phone calls, and even a couple upcoming dates with a variety of really good perspective partners. And then all of a sudden the numbers started dwindling, and the deal breakers started dividing, and where there was 10 now there is 1; and I'm not even all that excited about the remnant. Dating without a disability or a chronic illness is responsible for innumerable comedy specials, ridiculous romantic comedies, SNL skits, it is the stuff of cliche. But add a little autoimmune disorder, some invisible disease, and undiagnosed symptomology with a sprinkle of mental illness and PTSD and voila it's getting real folks! I suppose anything worth having is worth working for, and the good news is that I was the one making the decisions to clear out my dating queue and none of the gentlemen were put off by my condition(s) plural. So I suppose I'm doing better then the statistics scream. But it doesn't make it any less of a bummer. All I can do is put my hands together and look up towards the sky and allow God to part the clouds, dry the tears, and instill the faith necessary to keep on believing in The Power of Love. Love to you all wherever you are and whatever you're feeling.

Yours Always and Most Sincerely, Julia


How do I #empower the disabled men in my life?

I am saddened to see that the media at large does not have many resources for supporting the at-risk men in our lives. My boyfriend is #unemployed and suffers from #PTSD and #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BipolarDepression and, should we ever get married, I would be the only source of income (as he hasn’t even been able to acquire his SSI, still working on that). And as a man, I don’t want to “emotionally emasculate” him by being the provider and caretaker. I want him to feel like a man. I shower him with kindness and positivity, and times to be vulnerable and raw. But is there something I may be missing? I want to give him the whole world. #Relationships #DatingWithAChronicIllness #SpecialNeedsMarriages #Love #courage #CheckInWithMe #MightyTogether