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How to cope when you have a disability/ mental health and are unemployed?

How to not feel like a loser/ worthless not being able to contribute as a member to society; and fill your time, I try to volunteer or make up for it, but sometimes I compare myself to other people my age and feel pathetic :( I want to be kind to myself while working to change my life. #unemployed #Work #Student #Shame #tough #sad #Comparison #Anxiety #Depression #help #Support

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Every Despondent Day

Today is one of those days. You know the kind. The kind where no matter what people say, look, do cheering up is just not happening. Short of someone telling me, I won the lottery. My total take home amount after taxes is 1 billion dollars, yeah, cheering up is not in the cards. I am not sure how many others are out there who have these days. These days you feel trapped. Since my divorce, I have no car, and no official income. I live with my retired parents and unemployed brother.(I am not sure why he doesn't even try to get a job but I am sure something is wrong with his spirit. He has mental issues of his own too. So, I try to cut him some slack.) I've been applying for menial jobs just to have some stream of income, with absolutely no success. Sure, I am halfway through a data analytics course. I have been working on this for 3 months. However, that brings in no income. On days like this I feel like I have climbed halfway up the depression hole, only to discover I am still at the bottom. All of the climbing you did yesterday was around the hole, not upwards. Also, by the way, the hole gets deeper every day. On days like this, my 100 square foot room feels like a glorified prison. I know I need to cry. I know I feel like this because I am exhausted and weary of the daily wear and tear life puts on us but there is no way to activate the catharsis because I officially have no one who "gets it". I have no one who gets me. I just want someone to give me a call, tell me, "Let's go have some fun. Don't worry I will pay." I want to get you out of the house. I want to get you away from the oppressive life you live with older Christian puritanical judgmental parents and family on watch, an annoying brother who will not get off the couch and bleeding clipped wings that long to escape this mind and body. Yeah, it's one of those days you have to wait it out.

#Depression #depressed #lonely #hopeless #MentalHealth #exhausted #weary #stuck #prison #catharsis #Isolation #Judgement #Escape #Needabreak #Fun #betterdays #Divorced #single #unemployed #noincome #livingwithparents #careerchange #financialstress#waitingforbetterdays

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Every Day, Lately

Yesterday, I shared how my mornings go. Today I will elaborate on why "Every Morning" is so very exhausting.

I've been in the mental hospital more times than I would like to admit. However before that, I went to college majoring in biology and neuroscience. I wanted to understand my chronic issues and "fix me".

Unfortunately, I did not find for what I was looking. Going through several different specialists, I found some diagnosis (treatment resistant depression, generalized anxiety disorder, a circadian rhythm disorder, sleep apnea mixed in with a bit of obsessive compulsive disorder and perfectionism).

I never found a medication or medication combination that revolutionized my life. I found many coping mechanisms that helped like medication, a proper diet, journaling, blue light therapy, talk therapy, yoga, dance, deep breathing techniques, transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy (TMS), acupuncture, Chinese herbs, teas and lately, homeopathy.

However, as I alluded to earlier life happens and you are left flat broke (literally), unable to pay for most of these services. For example, due to my mental health, I had to leave graduate school and move in with my parents. My business failed, and at this point no one will hire me. My ex-husband left because he couldn't support us (along with a mental breakdown of his own). So, I am left alone, depressed, anxious, unemployed, living with my parents, picking up the pieces fighting the strong urge to just give up. Did I mention I my mornings are actually afternoons? (More on that later.)

Yes, this is officially a "Cry Me a River" post. However, that's why I joined this platform. I officially have no one to really talk to or in my case 'vent'. However, I think that is why we are all here. Am I right? Let's get all of our problems out in the open and support each other?

Well, I definitely hope that is the case because most 'normal people' look at me, when they hear my story and say, "I am praying for you". They also say, "I am sending you good vibes".

That's all very nice and appreciated but I am sincerely looking for the support and strength to keep going. I want to keep finding the good things in life, the joy, the wonder, the excitement, anything that makes my life worth living. I don't want to give into the perpetual desire to clock out of the human race. (Not that there is any guarantee things will be better on the other side, just saying.)

As Angelica Hudson says to Drew Barrymore in "Ever After" (It's a really sweet movie by the way.) "No matter how bad things may get, they can always get worse."

It's up to me to make it better and that's a hard concept to swallow. It's just me against this crazy spinning rock. :/

#Support #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #Community #Support #venting #circadianrhythmdisorder #Journaling #TMS #Acupuncture #chineseherbs #homeopathy #financiallystruggling #unemployed #Divorce #Burnout #Loneliness #Hope #strength #NeverGiveUp #onwardandupward #togetherwecan

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I’m in between jobs right now except I don’t have anything lined up. I can’t find anything in my field that offers a good paying job and I’m afraid to do anything outside of my field (even though I might enjoy something else) because I’ll feel like I wasted my college degree. Also feeling the pressure by my family members to apply for jobs I don’t want to do. Has anyone else felt this way? #unemployed #stressed


I am on the precipice of something. Not sure if it's greatness or plummeting to the depths of despair

I am finally getting traction in feeling better from SIBO. I am getting some energy back, but I just finished my second round of antibiotics (that cost $650 AFTER a manufacturer's coupon) and it's still going to be a long hard road with lots of doctors visits and trial and error.

This is coming at a time when I am also finally getting some much needed traction on the job search front. But the extra unemployment benefits ($300 a week) are running out at the end of the month and that means a huge squeeze on finances. I was using that money to pay for doctors since I have shit health insurance now, my cancer surgery (luckily had better insurance when that happened, but was still expensive), and just surviving on way less than what I used to make. That means I have to stop/delay my health journey because I can't afford to go to the doctor. Which means my job search will be harder. Harder to fight through the exhaustion. Harder to feel like it's not all pointless.

But I'm so CLOSE. So close to getting a job. I can feel it. I just need to hold out a bit longer.

Can someone tell me it's all going to be ok? That all of the shit I've gone through for the past 11 years will have been for something. That I deserve good things, maybe even great things to start happening to me again.

#sibo #Anxiety #Depression #unemployed #healthjourney


Is anyone else unemployed currently due to mental illness?

I'm currently struggling with a ton of mental health and physical health issues. I graduated college (I BARELY survived getting through college) and took 9 months off to work on my health. Then I got a job but only had it for not even 4 months before my mental health caused me to quit. Now I'm unemployed, severely depressed, scared, and feeling incredibly useless. I also feel so alone because all my friends have jobs and are successful. Can anyone else relate or has anyone else been in a similar situation?

#MentalHealth #unemployed #Depression #Fibromyalgia #Migraine #Anxiety #ChronicFatigue


I got through cancer, now back to feeling like a useless piece of shit

I was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer less than a month ago and got my thyroid removed last week. It's a mild cancer with a 99% survival rate and we caught it early so I don't need radiation pills or anything like that.

I was surprised at how I reacted to my diagnosis. I was positive and level headed and did everything I needed to do with gusto and spirit, something I'd been missing for so long while I've been depressed, anxious and feeling like shit constantly.

I found the cancer while trying to figure out why I feel like shit. My doctor doesn't think it is the source of my symptoms. So I guess handling all of the logistics was a mini vacation from the depression being unemployed and feeling like shit has put me in.

I felt like a useful human being for a little while. I had to get up to go to doctor's appointments, call insurance companies, etc. I know I am capable of doing things, but I can feel myself going back into my funk. I wish I just had a job. Then I wouldn't fight with myself all day over internal motivation because I would have external motivation. Can this pandemic just end already so we can all go back to normal life?

#ThyroidCancer #Depression #Anxiety #unemployed

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How do I #empower the disabled men in my life?

I am saddened to see that the media at large does not have many resources for supporting the at-risk men in our lives. My boyfriend is #unemployed and suffers from #PTSD and #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BipolarDepression and, should we ever get married, I would be the only source of income (as he hasn’t even been able to acquire his SSI, still working on that). And as a man, I don’t want to “emotionally emasculate” him by being the provider and caretaker. I want him to feel like a man. I shower him with kindness and positivity, and times to be vulnerable and raw. But is there something I may be missing? I want to give him the whole world. #Relationships #DatingWithAChronicIllness #SpecialNeedsMarriages #Love #courage #CheckInWithMe #MightyTogether


I hope you guys are insured!! #MedicalBills

I have Medicaid. It pays for just about everything, but we are a long way from universal healthcare.
How are you guys paying for your healthcare and medical bills? #ChronicIllness #HidradenitisSuppurativa #Disabled #unemployed #sick #Workingwhilechronicillyill