Feeling More & More Useless 😔 #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigue #Depression #Anxiety
For the last 3 months I’ve fully recovered from my 19 year eating disorder. I’ve stopped abusing my own body, however that has not stopped my body from abusing me.
My anxiety/panic attacks/pain has amplified tenfold.
So much so that I’ve been convinced that I have some terrible disease that’s going to kill be.
In the last month, I’ve bought an adjustable bed and a power chair (to ease pain and increase mobility.) But at the same time it’s made me feel more and more like an invalid! And it’s depressing to know that I’m a young adult whose Mother is STILL caring for me.
A couple days ago my nurse practitioner said the words I’ve never heard spoken out loud but already knew…”You have a Chronic Pain disorder.” And I couldn’t help but feel like “Oh my goodness my life sucks! I suck as a person because I can’t escape this…”
This constant self-blame for my physical and mental health is exhausting. So much so that I’ve shut down to an apathetic meh state because my mind has literally blown a fuse. I’m just tired. I love my life and all but I’m so tired.