forgiveness

beyonddeaf-inition.blogspot.com/2025/02/forgive-me-ummy.html

#Forgiveness #mother #Daughter #Family

Life is so unpredictable.

When things are going well, it feels almost like a sense of invincibility. But when things are tough, it feels like I'm battling demons.

Two weeks ago, I let my negative thoughts and insecurities drive me to my lowest point. I lost complete control over my emotions and ended up putting a hole through my apartment door. More things happened but I'm far too ashamed to write it out. All I know is... I'm so sorry.

I had my therapy session yesterday and I couldn't stop crying. I asked why am I so angry all of the time? It's not really who I am. My therapist told me that anger is a secondary emotion, and that I use it to protect myself from hurt and abandonment.

Anger is so draining. I don't want to be angry anymore.

Is there anyone that can relate?

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

Dr. King, John Lewis, and many others of that generation became true Heroes/Heroines in every sense of the word, and had a deeply profound affect upon many hearts and lives, mine, life-changing. He remains the youngest in History to have been honored with receiving the esteemed Nobel Peace Prize Award. He, John Lewis and several others in that generation demonstrated genuine heroism and humanity in the face of appalling corruption and struggling to redefine our values and characters, both personally, socially, and as a Nation.

I’m sharing a portion of one of his most treasured Speeches, his last, just prior to his assassination…

“And then I got into Memphis. And some began to say the threats, or talk about the threats that were out. What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers?

Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop. And I don’t mind.

Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!

And so I’m happy, tonight.

I’m not worried about anything.

I’m not fearing any man.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.”

#Love . #compassion . #Forgiveness . #courage . #Dignity /Self-Worth

RIP MLK Jr. May the Spirit of your Dreams burn increasingly brighter over Time, the visions of your heart be realized sooner than later, and the fruits of your life’s labors weigh low and plentiful to the ground! ♥️🫂

Hi Friends,

It has been exactly one month since I last updated everyone with what's going on in my life. First off, 2025 happened so fast but is off to a great start.

I usually only write when I'm puzzled or going through something traumatic in my life, but I want to shift that narrative and also write when I'm doing well. Although it's been a constant struggle coping with BPD & PTSD, I find that it gets easier once I've accepted that no one day is going to be the same. The ups and downs will happen - but knowing and believing that things will work out calms my soul.

My relationship has been going well. My boyfriend and I are now 1 year and 2 months into our relationship. Last year was challenging because we fought nearly every day. Now I know it was because we were still learning each other & were dealing with our own traumas. However, we've both found a happy medium. We've been practicing healthy communication and are way more supportive and respectful of each other now.

As for therapy, I was consistent for several weeks but had to stop. Come to find out, my health insurance was cancelled back in September and I was slapped with a $700 invoice from the mental health clinic. Not fun... lol. But I'm not worried. Everything will be resolved soon and hopefully I can start seeing my therapist once a week or perhaps twice a month.

I also got hired for a second job. Not only do I work a full-time job as a Junior Cybersecurity Analyst, but I will now be working part-time as a Pharmacy Technician. I'm trying not to overwork myself and get as much rest as I can, but I find that being busy and doing things that benefit my life in a positive way makes me feel good about myself.

I have also been doing well with being sober and even started to work out atleast twice a week. My goal is to turn it to 4 times a week, but I know that will take some time.

Overall, I want to thank The Mighty once again for giving me an outlet and access to a community that shows so much empathy and love.

You will hear from me again.

As for now, take care.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

Dear Gloria,

For 33 years, you held onto pain and walked around with open wounds that nobody knew of. Wounds of a little girl who just wanted her daddy. You looked for him in everybody, and even in the shadows.

You spent so many nights crying and wondering why people continuously hurt you. All you wanted was protection and safety, and I'm sorry that so many people have failed you.

I'm sorry you were so lonely.

You are truly so beautiful inside and out. You are deserving of happiness, and of all good things that are coming your way. Your resilience is one of a kind. One day, you will mother children who will learn so much from you and will appreciate you for being so kind, loving, and strong.

You are free now, my love. Unbind yourself. Spread your wings and let yourself fly.

Love yourself always.

Yours truly.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #Selflove

Hi friends, my life has been a whirlwind since I last posted on here. On my last post, I wrote about Healing Father Wounds because it finally occurred to me that a lot of the dysfunctions, miscommunication, and disagreements in my current relationship has everything to do with my father wounds, and my boyfriend's mother wounds. It brought awareness to our relationship and made me want to learn more about myself and why I behave or think the way I do. Alot of the information was taken from Chat GPT and google search, but still very informative and helpful.

I'm officially back into therapy and have had two sessions so far. I unfortunately missed one because I was bedridden due to depression, but when I communicated this to my therapist - she was very understanding. I made sure to let her know that the whole point of seeking therapy is to not focus solely on my relationship but to dig deep and confront the root of all causes as to why or how I am the way I am today. I learned that it all started from my relationship with my father, and it never really occurred to me that I have been angry at him my whole life. I used to think it was my mother that I was angry at. I realize now that I took all of my anger out on her growing up when she didn't deserve any of that. Afterall, she tried her best. Right now, I am in the beginning stages of forgiveness. For the first time in my life, I feel hopeful and ready to start healing that very part of me that has been missing for so long.

As for my relationship, both my boyfriend and I have decided to take some time to reflect and work on ourselves. He is currently on a two-week cruise for work. We talk every single day and have been practicing gratitude. I can't lie though. I miss him terribly. We are going on day 5 now, and the first 4 days have been hell. I've been crying and moping around because I miss him so much. My separation anxiety and abandonment issues get the best of me but luckily, he does the best he can to check-in with me multiple times a day. I'll keep my head up and remain strong.

Thanks for reading.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

Why is it that as someone struggling immensely with PTSD and BPD do I find myself always trying to heal others instead of myself? The partners I choose tend to always overshadow my needs, and I always feel neglected & alone.

I am fighting to survive at this point.

Somebody please tell me I'm not alone.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

Hi friends, I hope everyone is doing well. It has been several weeks since I wrote a post here on The Mighty. My last check-in was 3 weeks ago, and it was before I left to Arizona to celebrate my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend.

Since then, I haven't been doing well mentally so please pray for me. I don't want to go into too many details. However, I'll confess that I have crashed out several times. It got so bad that I injured my right arm from punching the kitchen counter. I've been experiencing chronic pains in my chest and constant migraines. I'm recognizing that I am spiraling, and something definitely needs to change.

On the brighter side, I am finally back in therapy. Interestingly enough, I was diagnosed with PTSD & so I've been researching more about that. If you have any advice to destress and decompress, don't hesitate to share.

I'm going to end it here. I'll write soon.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

It has been a month since I joined The Mighty and nearly a week since I wrote my first post: Fragments of Me: A Personal Story About My Life with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Today I feel the sudden need to check-in. I plan to do this more often so I can mark my progress and record my thoughts. All of this is to ease my mind and to lessen the burden on the people around me. I've been told that I can be overwhelming because of my constant need to overshare and my inability to let things go. It hurts to hear that, but to be fair, I'd rather people be honest than to lie to me, so I'll take it in with a grain of salt.

I'm relieved to have found a community with individuals that are going through something similar or who are willing to learn more about their loved ones suffering with mental health disorders such as mine. However, I'm still struggling to find balance in my everyday life & I've been finding myself extremely insecure and anxious as of lately.

Alot of it has to do with the fact that next week my boyfriend and I are reaching our one year. We have been fighting intensely for the last few months due to my insecurities and distrust for things that happened early on in our relationship. It reached a point where we started questioning if we should continue on because we were making each other miserable. Definitely not an ideal start to our one year especially when we have a trip planned solely dedicated to celebrating that milestone in our relationship.

The question I have is: As a borderline, how do I forgive and let the past be the past?

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth

I spoke this morning on Amazing Grace. Hope it encourages you.

www.youtube.com/live/39pFxuH7Zqg