A New FP Observation
I should preface this thought by saying that I have put in the time and effort to try and live alongside my BPD to the best of my ability, and I can see and feel how much better I handle my disorder because I’ve done the hard work.
So I’m aware that I have a new FP. I’ve been good friends with him for years, but in the past couple of months I’ve noticed that my attachment to him has become a lot stronger, so I came to the conclusion that he has reached FP status.
Here’s where my interesting observation kicks in.
I had an issue with him, and I calmly brought it to his attention, and he apologised and took accountability for his actions. I told him that I would need time to heal and he understood. No uncontrollable outburst of anger. No intense crying. Nothing. Just a calm conversation between two parties that ended in an agreeable resolution. And we came back together eventually with no further issue.
My FP recently moved to a different country. He lived on the other side of the country to me, so there shouldn’t have been much difference because it’s not like I physically saw him all the time anyway. But it was the physical act of moving further away from me and creating a distance that triggered my abandonment issues. Once again, no uncontrollable outburst of anger or crying. Instead, I took some time to gather my emotions and process what I was feeling, and then I told him how I felt and why I felt. He completely validated my feelings and understood why I was upset by the move.
Even now, he’s read my latest message to him but hasn’t replied. But I’m actually fine with it. I understand that he’s got things going on, especially with his move, so I’m not crying about not receiving a reply.
I have established such a healthy relationship with my favourite person that it’s almost giving me anxiety how well we’re doing. I’m actually so confused by this healthy relationship that I thought “what if he isn’t my FP” because I am so used to the toxic, unhealthy relationships like with my former FP’s. I know I’ve put in the work to be the best Borderline Barbie I can, so maybe I should just be grateful that I have such a great relationship with my FP.
Has anyone else had a scarily healthy relationship with their favourite person? I really want to hear your stories about this.
#BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Favouriteperson #Fp #MentalHealth