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Covid-19 vaccine! #COVID19 #neverlosehope

Yes, I'm 27. Yes, I HATE needles. Yes, I sat on my grandma's lap while I got my vaccine. But also yes for saving lives and keeping everyone else and the residents safe. I am so thankful I got to spend this unforgettable moment with my grandma and my mom. Here's to a new year and hopefully soon here's to kicking Covid-19 in the A*$!! 😛👊 ❤ #Covidsucks #AlzheimersDisease 💜 #savinglives


I lost my child #Suicide

#Suicide I lost my child to suicide almost 10 years ago. He was 25 years old. It changed my life forever. I have no one to talk to about him. My family ignores the subject. I wish people would tell me stories about how they met him, but they don’t. I feel sad today. I miss his laugh, smile and our conversations. #neverlosehope

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In honor of World Bipolar Day..

Happy World Bipolar Day! It has been almost seven years since my last breakdown and eighteen since my very first. I am so grateful to be alive.

The picture on the left is Thanksgiving 2012. I was 27. I had lost 10 pounds, practically skin and bones because I had no desire to eat..I was sickly and battling manic depression. The picture on the right is me, present day. Healthier. So much happier. It is possible.

And I know it is so much easier to say that I refuse to live in fear, that I refuse to let the darkness win, when I’m in recovery and doing great, and a manic episode or psychotic break seems 5,000 miles away. But I have to take joy in these moments becomes sometimes moments like these are rare for people like me. I have to celebrate the days I’m doing great. I have to celebrate every happy, healthy moment.
I want to extend my hope for better days to come for those who are suffering right now. I believe in you. Remember this: there is nothing you can’t overcome.
#WorldBipolarDay #mentalhealthmatters #MentalHealthAwareness #psychosiscomesinmanyforms #thestruggleisreal #realworldproblems #neverlosehope #NeverGiveUp #youcansmileagain


The invisible disease

I am a high-functioning depressive who frequently battles the voice in her head who says she's stupid and unlikeable.

I'm at work today, was just told I did a great job on a project, and as I walked away, I had the urge to grab an xacto knife and be done with the bullshit in my head.

Of course, I didn't. I thought how every single person in this 110 employee agency would be shocked and saddened and the common refrain would be: "I had no idea she was depressed, she was always smiling and telling funny stories."

And that made me think there's probably other people doing the exact same thing I do, which is bluff my way through every misery-filled day, knowing that the misery will lift eventually.




Let’s make 2019 the year of hope. The year of never losing hope, giving hope to others and be as hopeful as possible. It’s not a New Years resolution. It should be our way of looking at 2019. Our way of getting through everything which will be coming next year. In our year, the year of hope! #Hope #neverlosehope

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#StayStrong #neverlosehope #NeverGiveUp

I lost my 18 year old daughter to suicide just over a year ago. New Years is very hard for me. All I want to do is cry. It’s hard to go on without her and harder to be happy that a new year has come and she’s gone. ##tears #sorrow #Sobbing


Missing my other half

I’m depressed because I lost the love of my life. My other half my soul mate my babygirl. I won’t ever be the same without her but I have to try. I’m so hurt but I’m not giving up we will be together this life or another life. #neverlosehope


What I Wish You Could See

A world tinted pink it must be nice, everyday for me is a roll of the dice
You see a smile and don't look for more, it's masking a truth deep at its core
Some pain is fixed with medication and time, in my little world its part of the climb
I try to tell you but you just don't see, what's truly going on inside of me
I want to make plans and follow through, I always end up disappointing you
Living like this can be so rough, no matter what it’s never enough
If you understood how it felt, having no control over the cards your dealt
Given the chance would you count my tears, treatment failed are the worse words to hear
I pick up the pieces and try something new, anger and fear this is your cue
Your dreams and plans go out the door, until the day they find a cure

#MightyPoets #ChronicIllness #Understanding #lonely #neverlosehope

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Fibro pain

My pain today has been through the roof. The only way I can describe it is throbbing and incapacitating. I feel very weak. I tried to clean my kitchen from numerous take out boxes, etc., and now I’m positively exhausted. Even the palms of my hands and the bottoms of my feet are throbbing. I really don’t know what to do anymore and I feel like I’m at my wits end.

I guess this isn’t a really a question. I needed to let my thoughts go.

#fibrowarrior #neverlosehope #NeverGiveUp