sorrow

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    Pain That knows

    #Depression #Anxiety #GenderDysphoria #MentalHealth #transformation #rebirth #Rise

    A long time ago in a far far far far distance from where we are today there was this person who was neither alive more dead. This person never felt the same nave felt included or connected with the people around them. This person would do what is expected and would put on that smile wear that hat 🎩 or that hat 🧢 well maybe that hat 👒 so as to blend or fit in until the time when IT was time to move on and try again. The emotional damage built over time IT really did. So much so that the person #disassociated #DID or as the person who explains #Dis #Divergent #Identity #Spectrum . The person didn’t feel real lived in #Autopilot mode and #DID what was expected of them. #Numbess #hurt #Pain #sorrow #Loneliness #Sadness #abandonment and yes #homelessness .

    #transformation from a spiritual perspective and a physical perspective is a profound experience that changes your perception. When you have read the bible searched through Google and endured countless hours of counseling you realize #It . IT is what IT is isn’t IT. #please choose you. #please choose your present. #please choose your path. When you do not choose #you to be who you are others do.

    #Transition ended the cycle.

    This person sacrificed their life so that a new life could be! Now #free in #2023 this person has hope and a life that is full of love in so many different ways. The love this person has is #Selflove #SelfIdenty #Selfcare and yes #SpiritualLove .

    No longer dose the person stare in the mirror 🪞 trying to see someone else. No now the person sees someone who is actually looking back at them. That person smiles! That person is happy! That person dose what makes them an individual!

    We are all different and we all are special in so many ways so please 🙏 know there are better days!

    #yournotalone #YourWorthy #yourlifematters

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    Trying to Live

    I am trying to live with a mind that's constantly high or low; with no in betweens! Sometimes it's hard to face myself. Sometimes it's just hard to live, period.

    I wake up to fight the same demons that I fought yesterday; it's a daily struggle! I'm just trying to live in this world but I must admit that these suicidal thoughts paralize me sometimes.

    I know that on a physical level I'm alive but on an emotional level I feel dead inside like I am ready to collapse because I'm drowning in my sorrow and pain. . . .

    Being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is very hard to accept because people judge you and try to make you feel like you're not normal; in reality normal doesn't exist anyway.

    Having BPD and dealing with such intense emotions and struggling to even know who you are sometimes can make one feel hopeless honestly speaking but as a suicide attempt survivor I am not going to give up this fight!

    Yes; trying to live with BPD is extremely difficult but I know I am not alone. I know I survived for a bigger purpose than myself. I know that I am more than my diagnosis. My identity is not defined by my mental illness.

    I am trying to live, to do better, to survive, to have hope, to love again, to dream again, to fight, to be strong, and be brave in this life.

    Because as long as I am breathing, there is life in me and that means there is purpose in me and I will never give up on that and neither should you.

    We can fight this. We're in this together!

    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Trying #Suicide #SuicideAwareness #SuicidePrevention #Life #SuicidalThoughts #youmatter #fight #notalone #keepfighting #NeverGiveUp #Pain #sorrow #despair #Depression #BPD

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    I’m struggling with the news

    It’s hitting me hard! All the news stories breaking about Christian musicians, pastors, denominational leaders, etc. being exposed for their sexual misconduct. It’s disheartening! God must be sad. I’m struggling to trust anyone but God.
    #sorrow #BadNews

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    Where I want to be 😢 #sorrow #boundaries #misunderstood

    Oh, Mighty Friends. I want to run through the cotton, high into these hills and escape. My sorrow is too great tonight.

    The story is too difficult to explain: but on advice of my therapist I spoke up to one of my daughters about something instead of absorbing it.

    I thought very carefully and worded it well.

    But I was misunderstood, treated like a child being naughty, and told that I overstepped.

    My heart feels broken. #

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    The state of things #worry #sorrow

    So much unhappiness. We have become a nation of misery. It just breaks my heart to read all the pain expressed here and yet, there are good people reaching out, consoling others, being available. As a 70 year old white guy with complex- PTSD who has struggled with deep depression since childhood I must confess I am humbled by what I find here. Yes, life is so tough, it’s unfair, “nasty, brutish , and short” but somehow people just keep going. And that’s it, to just keep at it, despite the misery. I have thought about ending it so often- came close once when I was 19- so long ago. But look, people do care, and they care about people they never met or will meet. That matters. That has meaning and purpose. Not everybody is awful. I think I am writing this to myself, mainly, as a little light in the immense dark. Be well people, everything changes everything shifts nothing lasts forever and there are loving people out there who care about you # #Suicide #Loneliness #Depression

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    I miss my family😢

    For about two and three years ago my family had to put down both the first dog my family has ever had and my own first dog... That’s the worst thing I’ve ever gone through... They were the only things keeping me from taking my life at the points and they gave me so much joy even on my worst periods in life... They were there and literally licked away my tears when I cried and comforted me more than anyone possibly could! They were the only things that kept me alieve! I’m so incredible thankful for the memories that I have with them... And I just had to share this with you guys when I saw this picture my thoughts went directly at the little once that I lost at a age of 1 and 4 years old... Since it is a Newfoundland dog at the picture and that was the rase they were it was really sore to see the picture... But also kind of nice... ❤️ But i really miss them with all of my heart... #depressed #Grief #sorrow #hurt #Pain

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    The Gift of Friendship

    Grief is an emotion that everyone will experience at some point in your life. It is an individual experience. Still, we share a bond because we have a relationship with the same person we lost or just because we are both feeling sorrow.
    The holidays are especially hard. This year, I am asking for the gift of being there for us as we grieve.
    It will be the second year of celebrating the holidays without my son. Last year we mostly avoided the holidays. This year we are going to focus on the traditions that bring him with us while creating some new ones to make it easier. #sorrow #Family #Holidays
    #Friendship
    #Grief

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    Helping someone and it backfired #triggered

    So I met someone new and I’ve been trying to help him with some issues he’s having but it’s triggering the phuck outta me. Like something serious and it’s hard not to lash out. Part of me is extremely sympathetic and the other part of me is well a real asshole and bytch about it. I don’t want him to continue to feel alone but listening to him speak on his problems hurts me and also annoys me. It’s like hes not coping he’s not trying to fix it he’s just wallowing in self pity and making excuses. Everything I’m suggest or offer there’s a reason why he can’t do it or can’t accept it. It’s causing me to glitch (term I use when my personality disorder is apparent, well it’s always apparent but sometimes it’s covered by other shit that goes on in my head and I can’t tell that’s what it is until after the fact) Sorry ..... Anyway how can I help pull him out without pulling myself back in. He’s already in therapy. #Anxiety #triggered #PTSD #Abuse #sorrow #stressed

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    Picking flowers for my mother’s grave. #CheckInWithMe

    Flowers are meant to be picked,
    Seen,
    Given away
    Help others feel lovely
    Flowers are not meant for themselves
    Rather only
    for others’ joy

    #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #help #Grief #sorrow

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