originalpoem

I long for days where my mind is like a tranquil ocean,

Instead of tumultuous rapids.

Wanting to feel weightless and free,

Only to feel the weight of worry and fear pulling me under,

fighting to breathe, to be seen or heard.

I long for days where I feel pure love and respect for myself,

Instead of days being critical and self detrimental.

I want to love myself,

No.

I need to love myself,

Without question,

Without conditions.

I want the palpitations to slow down,

For the racing of my heart to be of excitement instead of anxiety.

I want my hands to shake with anticipation of new life experiences,

Instead of worry and dread.

I want to close my eyes and feel serene in my own body,

Instead of closing my eyes and going through negative, made up scenarios.

I want to feel weightless and free

I want peace of mind, heart and spirit.

I want to feel like a tranquil ocean.

Your trying to rekindle old memories
But thats in the past.
My future doesn't involve you,
Or your toxic ways.
You've had your chances to prove me wrong.
Yet when i needed you most
You seemed like you didnt care at all
You were non-existent in my life.

The night i told you i needed someone.
You blew me off.
I understand you were in a new relationship.
Did you know while you blew me off saying sorry with the boyfriend cant talk;
I almost committed suicide.
You left me with these horrid dark thoughts.
The only thing that saved me that night was my anger toward you.
And my dog.
But yet i gave you another chance.

You knew my dog was sick for months.
Didnt ask about her.
July 29th came and my heart got ripped out.
5 months later.
You saw a post with me being saddened without her in my life.
Didn't even react.
What so called "bestfriend" does that?
You commented on the post after
I became livid.
You showed me who you really were.

You may think we are friends.
But i haven't seen you since october of last year, don't you think by now i would have if i wanted to.
I've been there for everything you went through.
Yet, you were not involved in my life.
I took you out of your toxic home to keep you safe.
I gave you advice when you needed it.
When i gave you positivity where was mine.

After what you did to me.
I forgave you for peace at mind with myself.
But understand going forward;
Your no longer in the picture.

You may read this someday
Or you may not.
But if you do i still wish the best for you.
Know one thing though.
You lost someone who gave you the world.
Gave you their heart.
And you are the one who tore that to pieces.
YOU did.

#Selfcare #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #MightyPoets #BipolarDepression #Poem #writer #originalpoem