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Acceptance Is Inevitable #ChronicIllness #Depression #MedicalPtsd #Anxiety #Ostomate

As I sit here in the early morning hours I’ve truly accepted “my reality” I will never be who I once was healthy, carefree, spontaneous. My body is now unreliable. I’ve ran from this truth for almost 8 years, moving, running, doing things that weren’t beneficial to my health, physically, mentally or emotionally. I’ve suffered loneliness, severe anxiety, depression through all my medical journey to wellness. I’ve been given carrots of hope only to be let down. I’ve endured 4 major surgeries in four years, life altering surgeries. I suffer medical PTSD from all the doctors who dismissed me, made me feel like a number instead of a person, at 87 pounds many doctors said I wouldn’t make it yet not “ONE” of those doctors helped me. I don’t have an eating disorder I have a malabsorption/malnutrition disorder. So here I sit, finally accepting my life as it is. A bag hangs off my side (an ileostomy), it dictates much of my days. From what I eat, when I eat, the amount I eat, what I drink, the amount I drink, when I drink, bag leaks, bag changes (usually an hour just to shower and change my bag)….. it’s all an inconvenience graces with depression, anxiety, chronic pain, diversion proctitis, all quality of life issues. I’ve finally come full circle to embrace “my reality” of my life. It doesn’t take away the loneliness, the depression, the anxiety or the pain by accepting “what is my truth” but it does bring me a peace to finally stop running from myself. A peace to accept what is and fully be present in the life I have, no matter if it’s full or limited.
I don’t like taking pain medication, anxiety medication, antidepressants but I’ve accepted this path as my own individual path of life. It DOES NOT make it any easier from day to day I still struggle with everything. BUT accepting myself, loving myself in spite of my struggles has finally brought a peace I’ve missed for almost 8 years. I do not have a support system, I battle this very much alone, which makes me sad sometimes yet I’ve learned to be content with just me, knowing I have to be my own best advocate even when I feel like giving up. For those of you who struggle in similar ways, I pray one day you can do as I have done and accept “ your reality”. Love yourself in spite of your struggles, give yourself permission to be gentle with yourself, give yourself the kindness and compassion you wish others would give you. Acceptance of your circumstances is truly freeing. Love and hugs to everyone facing their own battles today. Be strong and love yourself first.


Why are there no big girls in Ostomy Positivity posts on social media?? They're all skinny and it makes me feel worse about how I will look with a bag


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Not all #Incontinence products work as designed and it irks me

I’m sitting here after having to change my incontinence brief (I’m a double #Ostomate , both urostomy and colostomy, but I still wear the briefs for any leakage) as well as my jeans and t-shirt after having just enough leakage to wet through the brief. I’ve taken a photo of one of the briefs I’m using bought at a local store which provoked this thought.

You see, under normal circumstances I would use the Kimberly-Clark Depend brand protection with tabs, ordered from a medical supplier and then shipped to my home. But, I’m currently in a gap where I need a new prescription from my urologist to get a new order filled — and I don’t get to see him until next week. So, I’ve been buying store branded ones because Depend does not send the protection with tabs to stores for consumers to purchase.

And this is where the problem lies. You see, the Depend uses a plastic outer cover. If you leak through, you don’t end up with wet clothes unless there are leaks around the legs. This works well for those of us who, for example, cannot walk and must use a wheelchair.

But then there are the store bought ones. Without exception, the store brands from all major US retailers have a CLOTH outer cover. If you have a heavy amount of leakage, it gets through the cloth, straight to whatever clothes you’re wearing. That leads to embarrassment that these garments should be preventing.

Kimberly-Clark learned from this back in 2016 when they tried introducing a similar cloth outer cover. They immediately received a lot of feedback (from myself as well as many others) saying that the product no longer worked as intended. Within the year, they reverted to the older version.

It is time that the major US retailers followed the lead of Depend. Your products are failing many people. It’s time to go back to what used to work…or failing that, pressure Kimberly-Clark to allow you to stock a product that does work as designed in your brick-and-mortar locations.

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Bright colours for a dull day! #knitting #knittherapy

I designed this Shawlette for Mother's Day and I have made quite a few but this is definitely one of my favourites! 😍 Hand dyed merino wool in a variety of cheerful colours! The design is called "Daydreamer" and I've designed socks and a hat to match. The hat pattern currently is with my test knitters and they are awesome! It will go on sale later this month 🧶
#yarntherapy #DistractMe #CrohnsDisease #Fibromyalgia #InterstitialCystitis #LivingWithPOTS #Ostomate #Anxiety #ChronicPain #housebound #mypassion #mydesign #loulabellaknits #daydreamer

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5 weeks post op!

Took this afternoon. Actually feeling quite proud of myself. It's been a bloody hard few weeks, with lots of hiccups. But I'm getting there. Had a really smooth bag change last night. I've not been feeling myself, mental health wise, but today I've been feeling more positive about it all.
#Urostomy #Ostomate #FowlersSyndrome #InterstitialCystitis #Ostomy #OstomySurgery #EndTheStigma #MentalHealth #spoonielife #bodyconfidence #I#icandothis

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Happy National Ostomy Awareness Day!

National Ostomy Awareness Day is the first Saturday in October every year.

Girls With Guts is a registered non-profit that works support and empower women with inflammatory bowel disease (Crohn’s disease & ulcerative colitis) and/or ostomies through the building of sisterhood and self-esteem.

Some of us struggle to deal with all of the "baggage" that comes with an ostomy and that is okay. Some of us are empowered by our ostomy and that is okay, too.

Today, we bare our ostomies proudly. Whether you have an ostomy for IBD-related surgery, cancer, FAP, a birth related injury or any other circumstance - we are here for you!
#OstomiesAreLifesaver #UOAA #Ostomy #Ostomate #NationalOstomyDay #OstomyBags

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