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Welp, this month’s been shit so far in terms of mood. I hope I don’t feel like wanting to fucking die again.
#Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #AutismSpectrum #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #SuicidalThoughts
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You ever just wanna throw your hands in the air and say “fuck it all”? Well that’s exactly what I’m feeling right now. I feel like everything fucking sucks rn. America’s insane for having Trump TWICE (we could’ve have our second chance for a woman president BUT NOOOO, a Neo-Nazi got president again instead!), I’m so sick of everything being “AI”’d purely because of harmful shit like AI art for existing and not caring whether something labeled AI or not, CRYPTOCURRENCY LIKE BITCOIN IS HARMING THE FUCKING ENVIRONMENT, NFTS STEALS ART WITHOUT ARTISTS’ PERMISSIONS… I can go on. To the point where it’s becoming FUCKING UNAVOIDABLE like in Apple’s AppStore and of course there is ABSOLUTELY no way to turn these suggestions off, LIKE NO, STOP SUGGESTING ME AI ART GENERATORS AND CRYPTO!!!
I don’t fucking trust or like Microsoft or Google anymore because of the shit they’ve done (including AI art generators).
Still can’t even get a FUCKING DISABILITY PAYMENT after all of these FUCKING YEARS let alone get a lawyer because WE AREN’T RICH LIKE THAT, ESPECIALLY BEING SOMEONE OF COLOR! Even then, I’m sick of having my autism being the reason, because it is NOT a disability/disorder, my anxiety and trauma disorder are the real disorders!! Next time, it will NOT be autism as A reason, but honestly I just want to say fuck this process in general because I’m so sick of it and possibly being misgendered all over again (I’m non-binary).
Many things I used to like/go to I cannot anymore because of the fucking inflation and higher/change of free plans (which I do understand that plenty of it is thanks to 2020 event and virus that shall not be named).
Things could’ve been better this decade, but NO. THINGS HAVE NOT BEEN FUCKING BETTER!!!
(Don’t call me human, I identify as something else non-pessimisticly and spiritually. Words relating to the 2020 event trigger me, like highly upset me and will bring up bad feelings. Thanks for understanding.)
#VentPost #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #AutismSpectrum #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #angry #fedup #unfair #triggerwarning #venting #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #DoneWithEverything
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I wish the DSM haven’t changed the Autism label to include “disorder”. My autism is NOT A FUCKING DISORDER!! Although I do get those who do believe that their experience is disordered, and that is valid and fine! I just mean generally when ASD is used to describe the whole community… I hate it. With a passion.
Autism is a spectrum. “Low functioning” and “high-functioning” are harmful terms for the community (unless there is any way to reclaim these labels and genuinely make sense, maybe not using “functioning” because what?)
We are not born with “defects” or “impaired” (unless an autistic individual genuinely view their autism this way in a non-ableist way) and the DSM symptoms was written to (maybe unintentionally) put blame on us for being different and having different social communications.
There is no such fucking thing as a “look” to having autism.
It’s not just men that can have autism. Woman/womxn and those outside of the binary spectrum (e.g. non-binary) can, too.
The puzzle design has been ruined because of a shit ableist company called Autism Speaks, and it grosses me out every fucking time I see it now.
I lost one of my ex-favorite singers 4 years ago because she turned ableist towards the autistic community.
I’m extremely sensitive to ableism when it comes to autism… because I feel like not many allistics (non-autistics) really get us… I’m scared to fucking go out again. I feel like I can mostly trust autistic individuals to talk to without being judged or thought of a ridiculous misconception. I’m scared to interact with most neurotypicals again because I fear of what they actually think of me or what common misconception they think of autists. I’m so sick of this….. I almost wish that I wasn’t autistic so that I no longer have to deal with knowing the existence of these fucking stereotypes and misconceptions and stigma that I involuntarily have to possibly face! This sucks!!! Why is it so scary being a part of such a small yet pretty misunderstood group?!! I don’t want to hide who I am, but I don’t want folks/folx to start thinking of stereotypes if I do wear an autism pin again!
(please don’t call me human, I non-pessimistically and spiritually think otherwise mentally, I get species dysphoria being called human and will just make things worse so please respect this, thank you!)
#Anxiety #AutismSpectrum #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #Stigma #sad #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #Vent #triggerwarning #LGBTQIA
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I feel like I just want to give up, honestly. My anxiety won’t leave me alone. I had a meltdown yesterday morning and felt like crap about society all day. I need those meds again. I have an appointment today with that luckily, I need them as soon as possible. Otherwise, I don’t know if I can take this anymore. I’m so sick of this damn world. Things have never gotten better ever since AI and AI “art” or crypto was a trend. At the same time, what if I feel the same thing even with those meds? Is there a point in anything anymore?
Magnesium doesn’t work at all for sleep as I kept having stress dreams from my trauma almost every damn day. I’m so sick of this.
I’m so sick of dealing with this shit. I’m so sick of feeling like I’m not welcome here in this damn world. Sometimes I wonder if I’m better off dead.
#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #neurodivergent #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #tired #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Trauma #Milddepression
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