Panic Attacks

Understanding the Emotional Storms of BPD

You’re standing on the shore. The sky is clear, the waves are gentle. Then, without warning, a wall of water rises — a towering emotional tsunami ready to crash down and engulf everything. Sound familiar? That’s life with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Emotions that seem manageable one moment become overwhelming and destructive the next.

You’re not broken. You’re not weak. You just need tools to help you ride the wave instead of being swept under.

In this blog, we’ll explore practical strategies to manage these emotional surges. We’ll learn how to pause, anchor ourselves, and safely come out the other side — even when it feels like you’re drowning.

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Why Do Emotions Feel Like Tsunamis?

Imagine your emotional system as a sound system. For most people, the volume knob goes from 1 to 10. For those with BPD, the knob not only goes to 20, but it gets there almost instantly. Small events — a canceled plan, a critical comment, or even a vague text message — can trigger a tidal wave of intense emotions: fear, anger, sadness, shame.

This isn’t your fault. Your brain's amygdala (responsible for emotional responses) is hypersensitive, while your prefrontal cortex (responsible for rational thinking) sometimes lags behind.

The result? Your emotions flood you before logic has a chance to intervene.

But remember: even the biggest tsunami eventually subsides.

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Step-by-Step Strategies to Ride the Wave

Here are practical techniques to help you manage emotional surges, stay afloat, and regain control.

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1. Pause Before Reacting: The Power of 10 Seconds

When a wave of emotion crashes over you, it feels urgent. The need to react right now can be overwhelming. But often, that instant reaction leads to regret.

The Technique:

• Count to 10 slowly.

• As you count, breathe deeply — inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 2, exhale for 6.

• Remind yourself: “I don’t have to act on this feeling immediately.”

Personal Insight:

One night, after an argument with my partner, I felt the urge to send an angry text. I paused, counted to 10, and instead wrote the message in my notes app. The next morning, I deleted it. That pause saved me from escalating a misunderstanding into a fight.

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2. Label the Emotion: Name It to Tame It

When you're caught in an emotional tsunami, everything feels chaotic. One way to regain control is to label what you’re feeling. It sounds simple, but it works.

The Technique:

• Pause and ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?”

• Be specific: Is it anger, fear, disappointment, shame?

• Say it out loud or write it down: “I am feeling [emotion].”

Why This Works:

Labeling the emotion engages the rational part of your brain and helps diffuse the intensity. Instead of being consumed by the feeling, you start observing it.

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3. Ground Yourself: The 5-4-3-2-1 Method

When emotions feel like they’re pulling you under, grounding techniques help you anchor yourself to the present.

The Technique:

• Name 5 things you can see.

• Name 4 things you can touch.

• Name 3 things you can hear.

• Name 2 things you can smell.

• Name 1 thing you can taste.

Example Scenario:

During a panic attack, I looked around the room and said:

• Five things I could see: chair, window, lamp, door, book.

• Four things I could touch: my jeans, my phone, the table, the couch.

• Three things I could hear: birds chirping, the AC humming, my breathing.

• Two things I could smell: lavender lotion, coffee.

• One thing I could taste: mint gum.

Within minutes, my mind was back in the present, and the emotional tsunami started to recede.

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4. Ride the Wave: Radical Acceptance

Sometimes, fighting the wave makes it stronger. Instead, try to ride the wave with radical acceptance.

The Technique:

• Acknowledge the emotion: “This is how I feel right now, and that’s okay.”

• Remind yourself that feelings are temporary: “This will pass.”

• Visualize yourself surfing the wave instead of being crushed by it.

Mantra:

“This emotion is intense, but I can ride it out. I don’t have to fix it right now.”

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5. Create an Emergency Coping Plan

Have a go-to plan for when emotional tsunamis hit.

Your Plan Might Include:

• Breathing exercises like the 4-7-8 technique.

• Calling a trusted friend who understands your BPD.

• Listening to calming music or an uplifting playlist.

• Writing in a journal to express what you’re feeling.

• Physical grounding techniques like holding ice or taking a cold shower.

Pro Tip:

Keep a list of these strategies on your phone or in your wallet. In the moment, it’s hard to think clearly — having a plan ready helps.

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You Are Not Alone

Emotional tsunamis can be terrifying, but you have the power to ride them. Each time you pause, breathe, and use these techniques, you’re proving your strength and resilience.

Remember:

• You are not your emotions.

• You are not alone in this struggle.

• You are capable of weathering any storm.

Even the biggest wave eventually returns to calm waters.

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What strategies help you stay afloat during emotional surges? Share your experiences in the comments — your insights might be the lifeline someone else needs.

Corey Welch

Mental Health Advocate | Author

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder, #BPD, #MentalHealth, #EmotionalRegulation, #Resilience, #CopingStrategies, #SelfCare, #Mindfulness, #MentalHealthAwareness, #EmotionalWellness, #RideTheWave, #AnxietyRelief, #GroundingTechniques, #MentalHealthSupport, #PersonalGrowth, #MentalHealthJourney, #SurviveAndThrive, #RadicalAcceptance, #SelfCompassion, #healingjourney

When Success Becomes Your Disguise

"You're doing so well!"

"I don't know how you manage everything!"

"You always seem to have it all together."

I hear these words often. They’re meant as compliments, little affirmations of my outward success. But sometimes, those words cut deeper than the sharpest blade. Because while the world sees a competent, successful, and high-achieving person, they don’t see the war raging inside.

This is the paradox of high-functioning mental illness. The better I appear, the harder I’m often struggling. The more I accomplish, the more my inner pain becomes invisible. And sometimes, invisibility is the most dangerous thing of all.

What Is High-Functioning Mental Illness?

High-functioning mental illness is a term used for those who maintain the semblance of a “normal” life despite living with mental health conditions like Bipolar Disorder, Major Depression, OCD, PTSD, or Anxiety Disorders. We hold down jobs, meet deadlines, care for families, and appear composed in social situations.

But behind the mask of productivity and success lies:

• Panic attacks during coffee breaks.

• Insomnia masked as “early riser energy.”

• Overthinking that we disguise as “attention to detail.”

• Depressive episodes hidden behind “I’m just tired.”

It’s a cruel irony: the more we keep up appearances, the less people believe we’re struggling.

The Burden of the Mask

Living with high-functioning mental illness feels like performing on stage every day. The mask is your best tool, but it’s also your heaviest burden. You smile, you excel, you achieve — and then collapse when no one’s watching.

There are times when:

• Perfectionism drives you to the brink of burnout, but you call it “commitment.”

• Anxiety paralyzes you at night, but by morning, you’re answering emails like nothing happened.

• Depression whispers that you’re worthless, even while you’re receiving praise from others.

And the hardest part? The fear that if you let the mask slip, everything — your career, relationships, stability — might fall apart.

"You Don’t Seem Sick"

The phrase “you don’t seem sick” haunts those of us with high-functioning mental illness. Because we don’t seem sick. Our lives are curated to avoid suspicion. We become experts at compartmentalizing, minimizing, and deflecting.

But inside, we know the truth. We know that:

• Holding it together is exhausting.

• Success doesn’t quiet the self-doubt.

• Being seen as “strong” can make it harder to ask for help.

And when someone says, “You seem fine,” it reinforces the fear that if we do ask for help, we won’t be believed.

The Isolation of Being "Okay"

There’s a profound loneliness in being seen as high-functioning. You’re surrounded by people who admire your strength, but few who understand your struggle. You might even doubt yourself: “If I can function this well, is my pain even real?”

Yes. Your pain is real. Just because you’re functioning doesn’t mean you’re not suffering. Success doesn’t erase struggle. Competence doesn’t cancel out pain.

Sometimes, the strongest people are the ones carrying the heaviest burdens.

Breaking the Cycle of Silence

So, how do we cope? How do we break free from the mask without losing ourselves?

1. Acknowledge Your Reality:

You can be successful and struggling. These two truths can coexist. Your pain is valid, no matter how well you’re functioning.

2. Let Someone See Behind the Mask:

Share your truth with a trusted friend, therapist, or support group. Letting someone witness the struggle behind the success can be liberating.

3. Redefine Strength:

Strength isn’t just holding it together; it’s also knowing when to let go. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

4. Practice Self-Compassion:

Treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a friend. You’re not “failing” when you struggle — you’re surviving.

You Are More Than Your Mask

High-functioning mental illness can feel like living in two worlds: the world everyone sees and the world you fight through alone. But remember, you are more than your achievements, more than your mask. You are a whole person, worthy of support and understanding — even when you seem “fine.”

If you’re reading this and it resonates, know that you are not alone. Behind every mask is a human heart, doing its best to beat despite the weight.

And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is let the mask slip and say, “I’m struggling, and that’s okay.”

“Sometimes, the brightest smiles hide the deepest wounds, and the most successful masks cover the most fragile souls.”

Corey Welch

Mental Health Advocate | Author

#MentalHealth, #HighFunctioningMentalIllness, #MentalHealthAwareness, #InvisibleIllness, #MentalHealthAdvocate, #Depression, #Anxiety, #BipolarDisorder, #PTSD, #OCD, #EndTheStigma, #BreakTheSilence, #SelfCompassion, #YouAreNotAlone, #MentalHealthMatters, #MaskingMentalIllness, #HiddenStruggles, #EmotionalWellness, #MentalHealthJourney, #Authenticity, #StrengthInVulnerability, #mentalhealthsupport

I've been feeling very yucky today. I woke up with a migraine again. My back hurts like hell. But I didn't eat anything until 4pm. My BG was at 146 after I ate cuz I forgot to check it before I started eating. But right now I'm very shaky and dizzy. I'm overheating and feeling very nauseous. I'm hoping what I ate kicks in soon. I really don't like how I feel. This #Diabetes BS is exhausting. I'm used to having high BG. So when it's low I really don't feel well. I have some sugary juice mix just in case. I think I will be ok.

#DiabetesType2