self

When it comes to depression, anxiety, and everything in between, small everyday tasks can seem nearly impossible to achieve. Some of these tasks are incredibly easy for others, but for me, it’s like climbing a mountain without a harness. No matter how hard I try to reach the top, I fail to get past that initial first step.

But I’ve learned that it’s the small actions that truly make a difference. Even when days are heavy, I can manage to push through and get things done at my own pace.

Most mornings, I lie awake in bed. I try to find the strength and encouragement to leave my comfort zone. The depression can keep you stuck under the covers, drained and exhausted before the day even begins. That’s why, I try my best to wake up earlier in the morning.

It’s a small victory for me to reclaim my time and choose to show up for myself. I feel tired and depleted of energy. However, I know that getting up early really sets the tone for the day. It’s a chance to get more mundane tasks done and sets a sense of positivism for the day.

One of the things I enjoy doing daily is take my dog out for a walk. It’s a little bit of alone time where we can both decompress. My dog and I are one in the same, anxious, and often fearful. Getting some fresh air, movement, and connection isn’t just a routine, it’s an act of self-care. It’s me choosing to step outside, soak in the sun, and take a deep breath. A moment to let the world in, even if it’s just for a moment.

Tasks such as showering or brushing my teeth can be daunting. These are necessities, but my depression and clouded mind prevent me from doing these small things with ease. It feels like a horrible chore I must get done. But when I’m doing it, I appreciate that I’m taking care of myself. The feeling afterwards makes me realize that I’m worth the effort.

I believe your room often mimics your mental state. When it comes to my room, it’s a tall tell sign that I suffer from depression. My desk is cluttered with both clean and dirty clothes. Vacuuming is becoming necessary. The dust has piled up thick. I try to remind myself that things don’t always need to be perfect.

However, the guilt of having things pile up makes me feel awful about myself. I know that a clean room equals a happier me, but getting it done is easier said. I just must remind myself that every dish washed, and every item folded is a step toward peace.

My driving anxiety is something that I’m most proud of as of late. Years ago, I had a terrifying experience while driving to Las Vegas at night. The desert was pitch black, the road lacked reflectors, and my vision blurred from the strain, fear, and tension. I experienced what I would later learn as highway hypnosis.

It’s a state of mind where I feel disconnected, overwhelmed, and panicked to be quite honest. My palms become sweaty, my heart racing, and my shoulders locked and tense. I’ve felt terrified ever since this experience.

When I drive on the freeway, I stay in the right lane. I do this in case I get an anxiety attack and need to pull over. I overthink every possible scenario while driving. This overthinking creates a dissociative state of mind. In this state, my mind and body are not connected.

I feel shaky and often must hold my driving leg to keep it sturdy. I think of possible leg cramps, foot itches, popping a tire, or at no fault of my own, getting hit. For the past two years, I’ve avoided freeways for long distance driving and just keep to the streets.

But a few days ago, I had to attend a wedding in Calabasas. My friend Zoe and I went to Santa Barabara for a few nights before. I decided to drive myself. I made this choice instead of having her do it. I wanted to push myself and just try it out. My anxiety got to me a few times, but I did it.

I drove from Santa Barbara to Calabasas without having to stop. I pushed through it. I played music, breathed deeply, and reminded myself that I was safe, and in control. I was capable and that was stronger than my fear. I’m so proud of myself for that.

It’s all about the small wins. They may not look like much from an outsider’s perspective, but on the inside, they represent growth and healing. Mental health challenges can make everyday tasks seem daunting, but it’s the small things that matter most. So, if you’ve showered, brushed your teeth, and made your bed, I’m proud of you. And you should be proud of you too.

These steps are not meant for giant leaps to reach the top of the hill. Embrace things at your own pace. Recognize that every step forward is a step in the right direction. Celebrate yourself, and you’ll notice how these small tasks will reinforce a clearer mindset. Let’s choose ourselves and embrace our productivity.

“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take the step.”

--Naeem Callaway

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #self

One Word That Describes Me: Compassionate

If I had to choose one word that truly defines me, it would be compassionate. I feel deeply for those I love, and I genuinely care about how others are feeling. I sometimes joke that I can’t stand people. However, the truth is I want everyone to be okay. I want them to thrive in their lives. My heart is constantly open to the emotions of others. I take on their joys and their struggles as if they were my own.

One of the things I am most passionate about is animal welfare. I have an enormous soft spot for animals, and nothing breaks my heart more than seeing them suffer. I honestly can’t watch movies or TV shows where an animal is harmed—even if I know it’s not real. It’s too much for me to stomach, and I firmly believe there should be warnings for such scenes. It would save me a lot of unnecessary tears.

Another area that is incredibly important to me is mental health advocacy. Breaking the stigma surrounding mental health care is something I care deeply about. My own journey with mental health has been a long one, filled with denial, confusion, and ultimately, clarity. At first, I struggled to accept my diagnosis, but over time, I found relief and understanding. Now, I want to help others see that they are not alone. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but of strength.

I feel everything so deeply, and my empathy often makes me feel like an emotional sponge. If I see someone hurting, I hurt. If I see someone happy, I feel joy with them. While this sensitivity can sometimes be overwhelming, I know that my compassion is one of my greatest strengths. It drives me to be there for others. It encourages me to advocate for change. I strive to create a world where kindness and understanding are at the forefront.

Being compassionate isn’t always easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s who I am, and it’s what makes me, me.

What's one word that describes you?

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

Leo Buscaglia

#MentalHealth #compassion #self #Selflove

#Selfharm My 8 year old autistic grandson cut himself with a knife because he was mad. He did it In secrecy at home but told his classmates the next day. The teacher alerted his mother who is also a teacher. I’m so scared for him! Any advice?

Crying, I’m not sure I even have the words to explain. Something I have to do, work wise but it’s breaking my heart. Leaving a job that I’ve loved for 15 years, having to say goodbye to so many people who have put their trust and love into
Me. . And starting afresh in a job that I hope I can do, but my heart isn’t there.

Do you ever find yourself trying to deal with people who you know in your mind and heart will never change? I fell into that trap with....not a friend but an acquaintance and former business associate. My mistake. An unethical, manipulative victim just like his dad, also part of the business. I quit the job a few weeks ago but still have some dealing with them that I hope to wrap up very soon. Beware! I know you know someone like this.
I had to quit because despite liking the job, the people brought out the worst in me. I encourage you to protect yourself from people like this, in my case they sap my energy, lower my self worth, make me doubt myself and not positive people to be around. Sometimes you just have to write people off to protect yourself. I suppose in my personal life people could say the same of me. I don't know. Arrrgh! Confusing to say the least. That's why I appreciate this site so much. It gives me the opportunity to vent and look at myself so that maybe I can gain some perspective.

My Dad can be a trigger for me as some of you know. But I still haven't got over what he said to me the other day. I know he comes out with such random stuff but this for me was a big trigger. He randomly said " Had i seen on the news that a 13yr old girl had been raped? " I said no. Then he carried on and on about " How the poor girl will be affected for life and how cruel it was etc etc." I couldn't look at him but could still hear his words. The more he said the more it dug deep into my soul to a point where I nearly screamed at him. I know he is older now but how can he give a girl he doesn't know so much sympathy and yet , when i was raped at 14 he just called me a liar and i shouldn't say such things. We never ever spoke about it again and it left me having to manage so many emotions that i didn't understand . I am still struggling to come to terms with it now. Maybe he doesn't remember what happened to me or surely he would avoid saying anything about things like that.
I got home to then have a phone call , for a once a month check in, from the mental health team. The woman was saying how bad my scores were, 70% chance of suicide, and when is the last time i self harmed. I told her it was Saturday. She abruptly said i shouldn't be cutting myself and i need to lock the knife away. I was crying and said i couldn't at this particular time, i told her mentally I had had a rough few weeks which I am still trying to come to terms with and understand, and today, with dad , just added to my failing to deal with my emotions. She told me things to try. Then she was gone. 15 minutes she was on the phone. She could tell i was upset but that didn't seem to make any difference to her. It left me feeling guilty that i should try harder, i do try but sometimes its so difficult...The way she spoke to me made me feel like I do not matter to anyone, even the health professionals. My two friends who helped me in the beginning have now become really distant. I can't manage all these mixed up feelings right now. Does anyone really care or do people just see me as a burden 😥
#MentalHealth #Depression #Loneliness #self -harm #SuicidalThoughts

#Anxiety #Hip hip hooray 🙌,#self care ❤️ # Mental Health #Depression TV show I grew up with. No brainer. Self care - healing.