self

It’s been a long time I posted here.. It was due to my exam result.. Yeah,my final result.. And, I did graduated from my college and also with an impressive grade.. Yeah, I mean I didn’t even expect that the result would turn out so good. Cause my depression started for this and the whole year I passed having extreme anxiety and depression.. Cause I was in such stage where I was confused if I can actually sit for the exam or not.. If I look back my past posts here, I would see my fear,anxiety, depression, panic attacks and suicidal attempts and thoughts just because of this exam.. Cause it’s final exam and I had to do it cause I didn’t want to take a break.. I never did.. So,now I am thinking if I could see the 18 years old me, I would have told her that come on, it’s goona be okay.. Yeah, it would be.. You can do it.. I mean just for this, I had to tolerate so many things that I can't express.. I remember my exam was in the next day and I couldn’t even open my books.. I was listening from my friends that they have started before 3 days and here I wasn’t able to do it though the next day was my exam.. It was horrifying.. I still remember I was pulling that thin rubber band and then letting go of it.. It was very painful but that moment I didn’t feel any pain or something.. I still have that picture from that time when my hand was full of red marks due to it.. Also,not to mention, those days where at one point I wanted to give in but I didn’t.. I feel very very proud of myself for not giving up.. I was so insecure and my illnesses was also getting worse at that time.. I mean, diagonised with Major Depressive Disorder just before 2 months before my final exam was never easy.. Also to adjust with it’s medicines, it took me like a month.. And after this, there were just 15 days left for my exam... Oh, I still remember when I used to motivate myself. More likely convincing myself to go for the exams.. I was literally dying at that time.. Yeah, every day and every night I felt like I am dying.. I was not even okay during my exams days cause somehow MDD just made it worse.. So, what should I say.. I am at loss of words.. Also,having this grade was really surprising cause I know how hard it was for me.. Well, I always believed that life is unpredictable.. Yeah,completely... I mean if someone asked me that time, I would've probably cried and said I don’t know.. I am not sure😩.. It was a fight.. And I fought it.. It’s not like I am showing off and all. No, I am not.. Mighty and the mighties have been my part of this journey from the very beginning and that’s why I am sharing this.. You know what if someone asks me about that time, I choose my answer that I Couldn't.. No, it was never that I didn’t.. Rather It was always I couldn’t.. I feel these two things have a very significant meaning.. And, also a very impressive way to get over from your insecurity and the lack of self-confidence.. Also to stop the torture we do to ourselves when we didn’t do anything.. It’s an illness and we can't just skip it.. It’s a part of life.. And I choose to live with it.. I hope sharing my messed up story would help someone who has been going through something like this.. Cause I have faced the worst yet I choose to fight against it.. I just didn’t wanna give up no matter what.. One thing I always believed that people like us can live, can dream and can go for it.. We can cause we are the strongest ever.. Well, this would be my reminder that I am not goona give up and I would fight against the whole world for myself.. I would go for my dreams no matter what and everything.. Cause this illness can't just snitch our rights to live, to dream and to be happy... Dear 18, I did it.. Yes, I did.. And, I believe we all mighties can .. Cause we were always the champions and still we are.. Hope it can be a bit helpful for someone like me... Also,I am grateful to everyone here for being so supportive and amazing💝.. Thanks for being the part of this.. Love and support for everyone 💐💐💐.. #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #MajorDepressiveDisorder #self -appreciation #grateful #mighties

Sometimes, we ourselves become our biggest enemy ending up hurting ourselves the way no one can. Yes, sometimes we just become so cruel to ourselves. Trying to impose everything and then going into depression that why can't we do that and all.. But, we forget to appreciate how much struggles we are having and how brave we have been to overcome this. Fighting against every odds to live a normal life though we are severely mentally damaged. Our every steps for living is sure praiseworthy cause being alive is the biggest challenge for us. Our life is not the same like others. No,it was never. We have been fighting for our life and we know we have problems. Anxiety, depression and many more which can just trigger us anytime. Well,it doesn’t have any specific reason. Feeling upset, lost and hopeless nothing seems to be new to me. Well, thrle way we think life would go, maybe it won't turn out like that cause there is no guarantee. But, we are alive.. Didn't just give up,didn’t just commit suicide.. Trying our best to hang in there. Life was never straight line for us.. From the very beginning of this.. Then,suddenly it won't be just good right.. Still, whatever happens or whatever we are doing to live deserve appreciation. Appreciation for living. For doing as much as we are able to when getting up from bed seems the hardest thing. So,we have to appreciate ourselves.. Support our inner self for being so brave.. Whatever happens is filled with million hopes and positivity. We should be satisfied with how much we are doing. Let's appreciate ourselves and let's just live on however it is.. #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #self -appreciation

Individualism is everywhere, which in and of itself isn't a bad thing. However, it has been corrupted to a trend-like phenomenon. Being different has become something you actively do, not already are. I would go as far as to say that how unique you are is a new way of defining your worth as a person. If you are "not like other girls", you are special and thus, more desirable as a partner or as a friend or generally more popular.

This makes uniqueness a competition: Who is the most different to everybody else? (Note that being too different is not trendy; be a special snowflake, not a weirdo.) If you spend a lot of time on social media platforms, you may have noticed that this is a common way of thinking, although it might be phrased a bit tamer. Still, the idea of being your own person has been corrupted into something far darker: the need to belong by not belonging.

But there's nothing wrong with being average - if you were average, that is. Disclaimer: You're not, even without trying. The chances you're average in every single way are nearing zero.

Average means perfect – you don't have to be either

The average person is what society is build for. Take average height doors for example: 2.30m people cannot fit.

This is not a critique (for once), because although it's not a good solution at all, there's not really a better one, either. You need to model society to some degree and modelling it to best fit the average person is still the best idea. That's because although nobody is perfectly average, many people are fairly close.

I agree that if you could be average, could become perfect, it'd be amazing. But you can't. You could become average, but you could never truly be something you just... aren't.

This entry isn't supposed to be about self-acceptance, but it seems like this is where it leads me. There's a difference between wanting to improve oneself and wanting to be someone else.

You can (and should) improve yourself without disregarding or trying to change who you truly are as a person.

For a long time, I thought the phrase "You're perfect the way you are" was wrong. I now see it in a different light. You're not perfect in the way that you're flawless; you're perfect in the way that you cannot be another person, and this is your true, ideal form. You're broken in the best kind of way, so to speak.

Don't try and corrupt or change yourself to please others. You don't have to be a special snowflake, a bad girl or guy and you don't have to dress or talk or look or behave in ways you don't want to. You don't have to conceal flaws or insecurities to fit in.

We need more genuine people, more truth, more pain, more sorrow, more unrestricted joy, more dancing, more laughing, especially online. Don't pretend to be happy, sad, depressed or modest when you're not.

The whole range of emotions you already have makes you good enough. They're valid. Your feelings always are, you can't control them, after all. They make you who you are.

#self #selfImprovement #better #perfect #perfectionism #Basic #average #valid

The sudden feeling in your heart that nothing feels good. I don’t like anything or anyone. This feeling is so suffocating I can't even explain. My exams are starting in a week. I am extremely stressed out. Yeah, dealing with my depression for the whole College life. It’s been a year now. Now, when I look back, I feel how I even managed to survive.. Yeah, in a top college with all brilliant students and competitions, I managed to survive dealing with my extreme depression. I Couldn't study, I used to skip my tuitions and I didn’t even want to go to college. That time, I used to lock myself, used to be afraid of morning cause I had to go to college to behave as normal as them though I was never. When, I used to come back to my room, I would just lie down and cry. Most of my suicidal attempts were from that time. I lost interest from my life and everything. Still, in this worse situation, I gave exams and stayed my college. And, no one knows about my situation except some of close friends. No one does. Even not my exam mates. It’s more likely I never let anyone to know. I fought. The exam which is coming was something I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to go for it. If you asked me this one year ago, I would have probably cried and said I don’t know. My life is finished and all.. Cause I was literally on the verge of leaving my college and everything behind. But, I never wanted to. I can't tell how much I have struggled to come here and I am still struggling. But, now it’s like why I am saying all this. Maybe to remind myself how much struggles I have faced for this. I was just eighteen and a teenager who never faced any of this in her entire life. It’s still getting bad but that me struggled so much and she was so brave to go through all this. She managed to survive and didn’t just give up. I had every options of giving up. But, I never wanted that. Yeah, just appreciating myself and telling myself you have been so strong and you faced the worst. It has nearly come to an end and you can do this. Just go for it cause it’s basically the ending. Just go for it. The road was never smooth and I decided to go for it. And that’s it. You can cause you are the strongest ever. #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #self appreciation