Survivingchildhoodtrauma

Its been a really overwhelming emotional time for me. I'm in the midst of an intense internal emotional shift that has rocked me to my core. I had to reconnect to my true values and principles to rebuild my emotional core foundation from what seems like scratch. It's been really hard learning to love myself.

So especially throughout the winter I had become an isolated hermit. I'm being reminded that sometimes it is the simple little things that can make a big difference.

So as the weather started to shift too I just wanted to have more light in my place. Went on a mission to find decent curtains on a shoestring budget. I finally found some that really lets the light and this has had an immense boost to my spirits.

Even my cat is at more peace.....pretty bad that I'm so jealous of my cat. I want reach that kind of calm, peace and contentment. At least with this little improvement has given me much more hope. #Selfcare #Selfcompassion

Sometimes the grief I feel over everything I didn’t have as a child becomes visceral and it makes it hard to breathe.

My inner child is screaming for love, for comfort, for validation.

I will do everything in my power to make sure my children will never question their worth. 🌻

#innerchild #innerchildhealing #PTSDawareness #PTSDAwarenessMonth #Trauma #traumainformed #childhoodtrama #childhoodsexualabusesurvivor #Survivingchildhoodtrauma #Ptsdrecovery #TraumaRecovery

I took a deep breathe and tried to calm my twelve year old nerves.

I walked through the doorway into the living room, he was sitting in his recliner to my left. I turned to him, my hands nervously grabbing at my clothes, my shoulders slumped, and my eyes turned down.

“I was talking to someone at school” I began, “and they told me what we do isn’t right. I don’t want to do that stuff anymore.”

He looked at me. I wonder, had he been younger and more able, if I’d have been released from his grip so easily. Maybe it was his fear of what I was saying at school.

“Okay” he replied, monotone and emotionless.

That’s all he said, but I remember thinking, it’s over, he was going to stop. Still, there was no real relief.

So I turned and went back outside to play, and left my grandpa sitting in his recliner in the living room.
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#Memories #processing #mystory #csasurvivor #ChildhoodAbuse
#PTSD #PTSDawareness #Trauma #Traumaawareness #writingtoheal #PTSDWarrior #courage #Survivingchildhoodtrauma #ChildhoodSexualAbuse