Never let anyone treat you like regular glue, be the fabulous sparkly glitter glue you are ❤️
When I got the label or diagnosis, it gave me a sense of relief. It was because my unique behavior has a name. People told me I was too much and difficult to be around because of my overly "sensitive" nature.
Now after a decade since the diagnosis, I realize this - I deserve to be healthy in a holistic sense. A mental health condition is not a condemnation. I deserve to live well.#BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #peace #Selfcompassion
Self-compassion is the ability to turn understanding, acceptance, and love inward. Many people are able to extend compassion toward others but find it difficult to extend the same compassion toward themselves. They may see self-compassion as an act of self-indulgence, but extending compassion toward oneself is not an act of self-indulgence, selfishness, or self-pity. In fact, self-compassion can help relieve many mental health concerns such as anxiety or insecurity. Many mental health professionals help people develop compassion for themselves.
Compassion is the ability to show empathy, love, and concern to people who are in difficulty, and self-compassion is simply the ability to direct these same emotions within, and accept oneself, particularly in the face of failure. Many otherwise compassionate people have a harder time showing compassion for themselves, sometimes out of a fear of engaging in self-indulgence or self-pity, but an inability to accept areas of weakness may lead to difficulty achieving emotional well-being.
Studies show that women in the United States typically show less compassion to themselves than men do. This may be partially due to the fact that women are often societally assigned the role of caregiver, with gender norms emphasizing nurturing, self-sacrificing acts.
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Although self-compassion may seem similar to self-esteem, they are different in many ways. Self-esteem refers to our sense of self-worth, perceived value, or how much we like ourselves. While there is little doubt that low self-esteem is problematic and often leads to depression and lack of motivation, trying to have higher self-esteem can also be problematic.
In modern Western culture, self-esteem is often based on how much we are different from others, how much we stand out or are special. It is not okay to be average, we have to feel above average to feel good about ourselves. This means that attempts to raise self-esteem may result in narcissistic, self-absorbed behavior, or lead us to put others down in order to feel better about ourselves.
We also tend to get angry and aggressive towards those who have said or done anything that potentially makes us feel bad about ourselves. The need for high self-esteem may encourage us to ignore, distort or hide personal shortcomings so that we can’t see ourselves clearly and accurately. Finally, our self-esteem is often contingent on our latest success or failure, meaning that our self-esteem fluctuates depending on ever-changing circumstances.
In contrast to self-esteem, self-compassion is not based on self-evaluations. People feel compassion for themselves because all human beings deserve compassion and understanding, not because they possess some particular set of traits (pretty, smart, talented, and so on). This means that with self-compassion, you don’t have to feel better than others to feel good about yourself.
Self-compassion also allows for greater self-clarity, because personal failings can be acknowledged with kindness and do not need to be hidden. Moreover, self-compassion isn’t dependent on external circumstances, it’s always available – especially when you fall flat on your face! Research indicates that in comparison to self-esteem, self-compassion is associated with greater emotional resilience, more accurate self-concepts, more caring relationship behavior, as well as less narcissism and reactive anger.
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Self-compassion is not the same as self-esteem, by the way. Self-esteem is based on your own judgment of yourself and, as such, can be too tied to accomplishments. If you feel like you’re on the right track, your self-esteem goes up, and if you feel like you’re not accomplishing what you should be, your self-esteem goes down. That can keep you on a perpetual high/low roller-coaster.
Self-Compassion is Just Feeling Sorry for Yourself
Nope! In fact, if we acknowledge our bad feelings and failures, we can move past them more quickly.
Self-Compassion is Narcissistic
On the contrary, studies have found that those with high self-esteem tend to be more narcissistic.
Self-Compassion is Selfish
It’s actually very much like the classic adage, “Put your oxygen mask on first.” When we show compassion to ourselves, we are more compassionate to others as well.
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Greetings from Taiwan!!!🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼
Here I want to share some reflections on my recent struggles with low self-esteem and imposter’s syndrome.
I am a school counselor working at a local university. Recently, I have been challenged with increasing requests for English services. In spite of cultural and language barriers, I am trying my best to provide as much support and company as I can. However, I also notice that I am showing some warning signs of burnout. For instance, I got caught up by frustration, anxiety, and feelings of not being good enough for my students after work. This low mood state would keep haunting me for several nights, pushing me to overwork and causing me troubles on family relationships.
I am aware that I need to be more accepting and understanding with myself. I need to slow myself down a little bit and give myself a gentle pat in shoulder and some kind words. I need to stop beating myself up and reconnect with my inner vulnerability and wisdom. I need to really sit with my pain and allow myself to embrace it.
It’s sad and almost embarrassing to share this as people tend to assume mental health professionals should be always doing okay.
However, I guess what I am trying to say is, “it would still be okay even if we are our best selves or we get trapped into the same negative pattern again.” Where we have issues with can also be where we really get to practice compassion, self-care, and whatever we learn about mental health. We always can pause, breathe and make new decisions about how to respond. We can always try to take care of ourselves instead of being so harsh and unforgiving.
It’s okay to be not okay. We are all working towards a more fulfilling relationship with ourselves. And if you are experiencing similar struggles, I am sending my love and regards to you. Wish we can all be at ease with ourselves. 🙏🙏
Self-compassion is extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. Kristin Neff has defined self-compassion as being composed of three main elements – self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
Compassion is the ability to show empathy, love, and concern to people who are in difficulty, and self-compassion is simply the ability to direct these same emotions within, and accept oneself, particularly in the face of failure.
Many otherwise compassionate people have a harder time showing compassion for themselves, sometimes out of a fear of engaging in self-indulgence or self-pity, but an inability to accept areas of weakness may lead to difficulty achieving emotional well-being. Studies show that women in the United States typically show less compassion to themselves than men do.
Research shows that self-compassion has many benefits, ranging from fewer depressive and more optimistic thoughts, overall greater happiness and life satisfaction to greater social and emotional skills and improvements in physical health. Specifically, some positive effects noted by studies are:
-It increases motivation.
-It boosts happiness.
-It improves body image.
-It enhances self-worth.
-It fosters resilience.
-It reduces mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, and stress.
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Self-compassion is an important mental skill that we can develop as part of our mindfulness practice. It is traditionally a part of Buddhist Love Meditation, but it can also be cultivated as a standalone practice to improve our mental health.
Self-compassion practice is scientifically shown to:
-let you deal with negative experiences, conflicts, and perceived failures in a healthy way.
-give you a way to self-soothe , so you can deal with relationship conflicts better.
-increase psychological well-being.
Self-compassion practice has three main components:
Use your breath to become aware of what’s going on inside, without judgement. Observe the feelings and other mental processes for what they are, without deeply identifying with them.
Express love and acceptance towards yourself. Wish yourself well, and know that you are worthy of acceptance, no matter what.
Extend your awareness to all beings, and acknowledge that everyone goes through difficult experiences. Merge your self-compassion with the naturally arising compassion for others, focusing on our common capacity to experience pain and love.
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Here are 5 steps to guide you through how to sit with your emotions and process them without avoiding them or making yourself feel worse:
1. Acknowledge that you are feeling something
The first step is just to simply acknowledge that you are feeling something. If you have gotten so used to avoiding your emotions, then you may not even be aware that you are feeling something.
This first step is about slowing things down and noticing that you feel off, even if you can’t figure out why you may be feeling this way.
2. Name and identify the feeling
Once you have acknowledged that you are feeling something, the next step is to try to name your emotional experience. Sometimes it can be hard to figure out what you are feeling, so it can be helpful to start off smaller and broader, such as identifying if the emotion feels good, bad, or neutral.
With practice, you can get better at being more specific when identifying your emotions.
3. Observe where you are feeling it and what it feels like
Your body is constantly giving you signals about what is going on internally and how you feel. Different parts of your body will react in accordance to your different emotions.
For example, many people will describe anxiety as their stomach feeling like it’s in knots, constriction of the chest, shortness of breath, etc. Different emotions have corresponding bodily reactions.
Just sit with your emotion. When you do notice a physical sensation or an emotion, just breathe. Don’t do anything. Don’t try to change the feeling, make it go away, or talk yourself out of the emotion. Just breathe.
Bring your attention to the physical sensation in your body and approach them with curiosity. This helps you to further explore the feeling.
Does the feeling change as you pay attention to it? Maybe you notice another sensation you weren’t aware of before.
Remember that the feeling won’t last forever. Some research shows that the average time we feel an emotion is only 90 seconds before it begins to change and dissipate.
Tell yourself that it is okay for you to feel your emotion. Also remind yourself that it is hard to sit with emotions. Don’t be too hard on yourself, if you find it difficult to do or feel like you aren’t doing it right.
Take care of yourself like you would a friend or a child. Feeling and sitting with your emotion is a skill that takes practice, so be patient with it. Don’t judge yourself for having these feelings or for not being able to make sense of your feelings.
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Lots going on trying to keep strong and positive but would appreciate any hugs or warm positive wishes my way, thanks so much and I’ll do the same for you too! 🦋🦋🦋🌈🌈 #Overwhelm #sad #happy #confused #journey #alone #Trying #counselling #hurting #DoingMyBest #cry #Selfcompassion