traumaresponse

I just want to start this with the reminder that there is always a grey area… no one person or thing is all good or all bad.

Us vs them, good vs evil…the western media provides multiple invitations to create splitting. Splitting is a cognitive distortion where individuals view people and situations in extreme, black-and-white terms, as either entirely good or entirely bad, with no middle ground or grey area. So if this is supposed something that only with people with BPD struggle with, why is it so rampant in our media and culture, and why are so many of us unknowingly subjecting ourselves to it on the daily?

I think of this song I used to listen to fairly often in my early 20s was called “Hate you Now” by Diddy Dirty Money, and the lyrics of the chorus are as follows:

“Don't go, don't go

Don't want you, I hate you”

This back and forth can be seen in many Katy Perry songs, “Love The Way You Lie” by Eminem and Rihanna, Amy Winehouse… obviously these “idols” are not mentally well in the first place, so why is it that they get to be influencing the masses, and why is it a seemingly never-ending barrage of split-inducing content?

Here’s 5 reasons why…

1. Because Splitting Is Dramatic AF

Splitting creates intense highs and lows — perfect for:

Cliffhangers

“Will they/won’t they” plots

Villain redemption arcs (or betrayals)

Love-turned-hate-turned-love-again romances

TV shows, movies, and songs that feed on black-and-white emotional whiplash keep audiences hooked, not healed. Because...

Drama sells. Regulation doesn’t.

2. Because Dysregulation Is Profitable

People with unhealed wounds consume more. Period.

We binge-watch.

We obsess over characters that reflect our trauma.

We relate more deeply to chaos than calm.

We replay that one emotionally abusive love song 47 times.

Splitting in media mirrors splitting in real life — and if your identity or emotions depend on the next plot twist or betrayal? You’ll keep coming back. That’s retention.

Media is built to stimulate, not stabilize.

3. Because We’ve Been Conditioned to Call It “Romance”

In Western media, “love” is often synonymous with:

Jealousy

Possession

Obsession

Abandonment followed by reconciliation

This reflects unhealed attachment wounds, and when a viewer also carries those wounds, the media acts like emotional Velcro.

“If it hurts, it must be real” is the most dangerous lie we’ve been sold.

4. Because Western Culture Itself Is Fragmented

Our culture is soaked in binaries:

Good vs. Evil

Hero vs. Villain

Success vs. Failure

Virgin vs. Vixen

Saint vs. Sinner

Splitting is culturally embedded. Media just reflects and amplifies that split — then serves it up with popcorn.

5. Because Regulated Characters Seem "Boring"

Characters who are grounded, emotionally secure, and self-aware don’t typically make for viral TikToks or binge-worthy scripts.

Why? Because regulated nervous systems don’t create spectacle — they create stability, and stability doesn’t go viral. Yet.

Splitting is rampant in Western media because Western culture itself is split — from the body, from the earth, from emotions, and from relational responsibility.

People aren’t broken for feeling pulled into it.

They’re simply living in a world that rewards dysregulation.

Over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that when we unconsciously consume media, we are programming our mind, literally. You might think it’s just some harmless movie or just words in a song, but your subconscious mind doesn’t know that. Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between fact and fiction.

So what can you do to stop this? Start becoming conscious of the content you consume. Actually LISTEN to the words, notice how the content makes you physically feel, because you deserve peace!

#BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #traumaresponse

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about unprocessed trauma, and how it impacts everyday life. It determines much of how a person views their relationships, self, and how they respond to stress and fear. I was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) in 2017, and it was always very clear to me that many of my symptoms were directly related to trauma I experienced during childhood. Most of this trauma took place from ages 13-19, during an abusive relationship that started my freshman year of high school, and did not end fully end until 2019. Now, five years later, I am trying to unpack the trauma from this time period that I have been pushing to the back of my mind and attempting to avoid for so long.

I cant avoid it because it still frames many of my relationships (both with friends and my spouse). In times of stress and big life changes, I find myself on guard, treating others and myself with coldness and mistrust. My spouse is traveling for work frequently, so I am spending more time alone. I am struggling to maintain motivation and focus both at home and at work, and am often irritable. I become very negative, both towards daily life and myself. I over analyze everything my spouse says to me or doesn’t say to me, and I find myself complaining about almost everything, and feeling guilty about it and realizing that everything in life is good right now, so why am I having such a hard time accepting it? Why do I always have to find something wrong? Why is normalcy so uncomfortable for me?

In taking a hard look at my behavioral patterns, I noticed that many of my reactions to things and interpretations of other’s actions are the same or similar to those I had during the abusive relationship in my teen years. I started to wonder if this was connected, and if there was anything I could do to retrain my mind to not exist in the “trauma realm”. BPD is often diagnosed in individuals who have endured some kind of physical or emotional trauma. The trauma is usually long-term, and it warps how a person sees themself and interacts with the world. It is treatable and is a disorder that can be remedied through retraining the brain to respond differently, interpret differently, and cope differently.

Recently, a new diagnosis has emerged, CPTSD, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This disorder shares many symptoms with BPD, and is different from PTSD in that it relates to damage from long-term trauma and not one singular traumatic event or experience. I discovered this new diagnosis while researching trauma response in relationships. (It has been excluded from the DSM-5 thus far). There have been mixed feelings and opinions from the psychological community at large as to the significance of this new diagnosis, and some resistance due to the symptom overlap between CPTSD and other disorders. One of the biggest areas of contention has been the overlap between CPTSD and BPD. In the image I shared, the overlap in symptoms can be seen.

I wanted to reach out to the community here, and ask for thoughts regarding the overlap between BPD and CPTSD, and also ask for advice in the way of overcoming long-term trauma. What are your thoughts on CPTSD, and how should it be interpreted by those who have received a BPD diagnosis? What methods of treatment or small actions have been helpful for you (or your patients) as it relates to trauma responses and being able to recognize them? Has anyone else struggled with long term trauma lasting multiple years, and adjusting to “normal” life on the other side?

I also wanted to ask for thought and feedback regarding unprocessed trauma, and how processing past trauma in a healthy way might have helped you (or a patient)? What steps were taken to process the trauma? What connections were established or discovered between the trauma and behavioral responses to triggers? How were these responses redirected or altered, thus diminishing the “trauma realm” response and shifting to a more mindful and present(in the now)-focused response?

All thoughts and feedback is appreciated!

Dissociation is a common coping strategy for dealing with a traumatic situation. When you experience a threat to your well being, the brain can cleverly check out, allowing you to endure the traumatic experience without being conscious of it.

There are several different types of Dissociation as Anna Lente explains in this article: themighty.com/2018/06/types-of-dissociation

Have you ever experienced any of these? If so, did your experience match the descriptions in this article?

Personally I have experienced depersonalization, dissociative amnesia and flashbacks. My depersonalization was the personification of an “out of body experience.” The dissociative amnesia has made it challenging to reconstruct narrative memories of my trauma, which frustrates me in therapy when I feel triggered and can’t figure out why. My flashbacks are both emotional and somatic, something we will discuss in more detail later this month.

#PTSD #Trauma #traumaresponse #Dissociation