undiagnoised

Therapist tells me that we may be done with goals on the plan by the end of this month which means it will lead to a discharge... if I'm ready.

Am I ready? That is the question.
Do I think I need more work? I don't know.
If yes, where am I needing the work? I'm not too sure.

I've been on this journey for 2 yrs now. There's moments I feel I'm "healed" then there's those days of where I'm not...

How do ppl continue this journey for yrs?! Yes, we all have different stories. Different wounds. But, how do y'all stay on this journey for so long?

I've had 3 therapists these last 2 yrs. & now, I may be seeing none. I need to sit with this & see if I really need to continue this journey..

#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #Insomnia #Trauma #Therapy #PTSD #undiagnoised #Healing

What are some techniques you are doing on this healing journey?

Inner child work.
Shadow work.
Self-Help Books

What are some advice, pointers, & suggestions you'd give someone who is on the journey who feels hopeless. Clueless. Weak. Unmotivated. & any other "negative" adjective.

Pinterest is only doing so much.
Therapy is helping yet some days sessions feel pointless.

Any & all help is greatly appreciated.
#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #Chatspace #CheckInWithMe #undiagnoised #MentalHealth #Insomnia #Grief #Healing #Therapy #selfhelp #ShadowWork #innerchild #PTSD #Trauma

So, my therapist told me yesterday during our session that she will be leaving this company at the end of the month & moving on to better opportunities with a new organization. Only thing, this new organization does not accept insurance & is out of pocket... ouch!

It's been 6 months of being on this therapy journey with my therapist. My first therapy rodeo & this happens. Ugh. I've seen a huge change within myself yet of course some days I fall back down. Therapy has been a huge help within my story & I'm forever thankful for my therapist to give me that push. She's been amazing these last 6 months.

The way my anxiety works is now I'm overthinking of my choices. Do I start all over again & open up to someone new? Do I follow my therapist knowing I won't be able to afford it or do I just cross the finish line of this journey & call it a win, even though some days don't feel like a win?

To my fellow mighties who are on this therapy journey & who have experienced something similar, how did y'all handle the news? Did you go with someone new? How was that? Did y'all end your journey even though you feel like it should have continued? Did you follow your therapist? I'd love to hear any & all experiences. I'd love to be given some pointers/advice..

I'm torn. & I know it's all up to me, but just hearing others go thru similar experiences will ease this anxiety of mine.

#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #Chatspace #CheckInWithMe #undiagnoised #MentalHealth #Selflove #Therapy #PTSD #GAD #Insomnia #Grief #Healing

"I'm going to be switching organizations. I will no longer be with this company. I do know my new office does not accept insurance. It's out of pocket only..... "

Y'all, my therapist is moving on to better opportunities & I'm torn. Excited for her yet nervous for me. Confused as usual.

This month marks 6 months of being in therapy, EVER, & I've found such peace in this journey. In this therapist. I can see how much I've changed just in this short while & I owe some it to her.

Am I ready to start "over" with someone new? Will they keep on this path that my therapist & I have already created? Will I like this person? Feel "safe" (open up to) with this individual?
So. Many. Questions. In. My. Head.

Sadly, I can't afford out of pocket costs, which pisses me off for those of us who truly need these sessions yet can't due to finances, but that's for a whole different day/post.
Even if I do monthly sessions instead of bi-weekly, I feel as if I won't get much in... if that makes sense. Is there even that option to do monthly?!

For those of you who are down this therapy journey,
1: good for you for acknowledging that you need the help & taking that step of committing.

2: how did you handle the news of being told that you may be given a new therapists?
Or finding a new one on your own?
(This therapist was recommended to me)

All of this is new to me & I'm torn of what to do... anxiety on the other hand knows EXACTLY what to do. Lol.

Any & all pointers/advice are welcomed. Please & thank you.

#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #Chatspace #CheckInWithMe #undiagnoised #MentalHealth #Insomnia #Grief #Therapy #PTSD #GAD

.... is I'll think about an incident for days, especially if it triggered my nervous system.

That is how my wknd went. As much as I'd try to occupy my mind, it'd go back to Friday & how I was treated in front of my coworkers.

I wanna confront my boss & let her know how she handled the situation was wayy out of the "professional" box. She had NO right approaching me in the manner that she did. No boss should EVER approach their employees with the tone she used. We're ALL adults, you're a professional, we're NOT your child, you're NOT at home.

For someone whose NOT a fan of confrontation & shuts down in those moments due to trauma growing up & is going to therapy to better their life, how can they get past this & handle it without falling?! This scenario has played in my head ALL wknd. That's how bad it hurt. It's not the first time I've been belittled like that from this boss yet it was the first time in front of my coworkers... I can't talk with my main boss due to them making the situation about them & covering up for my other boss..

Working in a toxic environment hurts my head. Trying to escape this is rough right now. Looking for a better opportunity is challenging due to my financial demands being too "strong" for what is out there.

How can I approach this situation where I dont look like the weak link when in reality, it's my boss whose the weak link? How do I approach a person who will argue with you til they're dead of having to be right, when they're clearly not. How can I let my main boss know about this situation without her belittle me?

My anxiety has been thru the roof this wknd. Of all wknds my therapist is out of the office too. Going into work tmrw is not what I wanna do. I don't even wanna see my boss's face yet she needs to know what she did wrong..

To say I'm lost would be an understatement..

#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #Chatspace #CheckInWithMe #undiagnoised #MentalHealth #Insomnia #Trauma #ToxicWorkEnviroment #Therapy #PTSD #GAD #MentallyExhausting

..... in my head!

Now that I don't work Saturdays after working wknds for 2 yrs on top of my m-f job, my body is yelling at me to keep moving. I know I need to accept the fact that resting is okay but y'all, it's hard!

I'm stressing a bit due to finances being cut a lil but with my main job, I'll be okay within a couple of months. Finances is my biggest adult flaw. I'm sure it's yours as well. Growing up in a 1 man income, I saw the struggle & told myself I will not struggle. I will be comfortable in my finances.

Looking around at my apartment & all I see is a "mess" even though it's not THAT messy. I see art projects being piled up yet the motivation hasn't been there for a couple of months now. I see myself falling into a "lazy" phase yet again & I do not like it. Laundry needs to be folded after a few months in the basket. Dishes need to be done after a few days in the sink. How am I suppose to grow & heal if I'm not growing & just sitting? How am I suppose to heal if all I am is hard on myself? This journey is not easy, that's for sure.

It's the voices that are killing me. I know what I'm capable of doing... or am I? I'm always getting inside my head. Negative self talk. Sabotaging the positive. Gaslighting myself. Feeling guilty. All of those harsh demons..

How does one get out of this rut? I'm done being so "down" on myself. I want change. I need change. Consistency is key, I know but some days it lacks hardcore. That's yet another flaw of mine. I'll start & then slack weeks later.

Aye! Does any of this even make sense? I don't even know anymore. This has been on my mind this wknd. Had to share to calm the nerves.

🤷🏼‍♀️😑🖤

#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #Chatspace #CheckInWithMe #undiagnoised #MentalHealth #Insomnia #Grief #GAD #PTSD #Healing #negativevoices

The media has had my mind wandering to times of my life I didn't wanna go back to these past few weeks. Weird I know. This post may not make sense yet it needed to be shared. I needed a double cleanse. Here & my journal.

•Bullying.
•Abusive (Mentally/Emotionally) Relationships.

With that lil boy in the news who choked himself with his hoodie string breaks my heart. Seeing friends/old classmates post about their kids getting bullied. Hearing about my nephew getting bullied at school.. ALL of that hits my mind hard late at night.
Takes me back of when I was in elementary/junior high school getting bullied. I was egged. Yes, ppl threw eggs at me. I had ppl put glue on my jacket. They acted like they were patting my back but in reality, they put glue instead. Yes, things did stick through out the day. No, no one told me. I would find out when I got home. I had stuff taken from my backpack while i would be out of class. In jr. high I was called anorexic because I was skinny. Fast metabolism. I was called flat chested. Late bloomer. I was called a loner because I would always sit by myself. Shy. Looking back, social anxiety.
Seeing all these bullying headlines breaks my heart. Brings tears to my eyes. For young kids to take their own lives over other people's nonsense is not okay. There has to be a way to slow these rates down...

The Kanye/Kim news is horrifying. Idk what his motive is with all this nonsense but it's not okay. He's abusing his family. It may not be physical abuse but it's mental & emotional. That will still mess you up in life.
My ex of 4 yrs was mentally/emotionally abusing me until I said enough is enough & I cut all contact with him. Blocked him on all socials. Blocked his phone number. Everything. Yet, here I am 10 yrs later still trying to fix my self. Fix my heart. Seeing friends in similar relationships & not taking care of themselves yet allowing their spouse to do this abuse to them angers me. Why, because I know they're better than this yet are too blind to see. Toxicity is contagious tho. I saw it growing up with my parents. Both stuck around up til my dad's passing.
Yes, my abuse was mild. It still wasn't okay tho. Abuse in general is not okay. Doesn't matter the level. What Kanye is doing is just flat out dangerous..

Triggers are crazy. Triggers are unexpected. Triggers have no time limit. Triggers give no effs!

Sry if this does not make sense. Sounded better in my thoughts. I had to share it. It started to get a lil overwhelming. Would this be a good therapy session, or nah? Hmm...

Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, how'd you handle your thoughts?!

#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #PTSD #GAD #Insomnia #MentalHealth #triggers #Chatspace #CheckInWithMe #undiagnoised