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LET DOWN POEM

Like aloud room you want to Escape from

And finding your Love is a Prison on Fathers Day

Like hotdogs n BBQ's no one wants

ONLY TO YELL AT A BITTERSWEET ENEMY THAT WAS LOVE

LIKE SONGS IN A FOREST BUT ALINE WITH A WHISKEY OR FLAMES

LIKE TIRED BUT EXPENDING EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE FOR NOTHING

LIKE THE NOTHING AND DEATH WISHES AND THOUFHTS ABOUT IT

SO MY LOVE'D SET HIM FREE

LIKE THE EXPENSIVE AIR CONDITIINED WALLS OF A HOME THATS A PRISON

LIKE GRIEVING WITH MUSIC ON FIRST DADS DAY OF LOSS

TO BE YELLED AT INCESSANTLY TIL YOU DIE TOO

LIKE MUSIC'LL SOLVE IT

NO MY DEATH WILL

LIKE STRIVING ON HAPPILY

TIL THE DARKNESS HITS OR JUST HITS YOU

LIKE GODBROTHERS WHO METAMORPHISE INTO STRANGERS

AND LOVERS TOO

AND FAMILIES TOO

LIKE ABUSE AND SONGS AND INCARCERATIONS AND SONGS

LIKE KIDS ON A BEACH, PRIVELEDGED BY THEIR WATERS

LIKE SWIMMIN IN SHIT

WHICH FATE IS THEIRS

I CANT HOPE ANYMORE

LOVES EVERYWHERE BUT NOWHERE

WHO DO YOU SEE

WHO HAVE I KILLED JUSTMYSELF

NO I DONT WANT A TABLE N HOTDOGS

BUT SOMETIMES MY DOGS SENSW MYBTEARS

HI HOW WERE YOU WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE

DOES ANYONE ASK

LUKE INDIAN HEALTHCARE WORSE THAN AN ORANGE PLAGUE

LIKE ALL THE LOVE N LIVES LOST N BLARING MJ SONGS N LIGHTS N YELLING

THATS DEATH

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My mom is a special kind of stupid

My mom is a certain kind of special
A few weeks ago my mom told me she doesn't believe I'm sick and that I'm doing this for attention. She told me I must have fucked with the MRI results. Then I must not have deformities in my hips cuz my Ped would have found it. And I'm probably screwing around with my eyes on purpose.
She said I shouldn't need meds anymore cuz I had a surgery and doctors don't screw up so my doctor must have been a scam. No mom, I had a multiple awards winning neurosurgeon.

My mom graduated high school and then immediately got a cute little job until she found herself a husband who can carry the family on his back. My dad on the other hand went to northwestern college. He owned a hardware store for my entire childhood. I worked for him on payroll when I turned 14 and he used my checks to get boat toys.

When I lived at home, one night my middle sister asked her dad "why do only men get prostate cancer? What part of the brain is it in?" He looked at me as milk shot out my nose. That's when mom defended the*redacted*... "Don't make fun of her, it's not like that's common knowledge!"

Any questions as to why I'd rather sleep outside a public library during a thunderstorm and they had an awning than stay one day in that house.
#Abuse #neglect #FamilyAndFriends

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TWENTY-FIVE: 30 Days of DID

What are some of your favorite books on DID? Did you hear about DID before or after your discovery of multiplicity? In what context did you hear about it?

***QUESTION TWENTYFIVE: Have you read books on DID? If so, what are some of your favourites? What are some books you would like to read in the future?

Moreso in our beginning stages. Once this started to look like The Final Answer, we got a bit obsessed, and the results of all our reading were a mixed bag.

For clinical fare, it was a relief to see myself in the pages, while also maddening that it took so long. In memoirs and autobiographies, we found relatability, experiential confirmation (and tinges of jealousy as we had no Lighthouse at the time), and real-life documentaries made us feel both seen and scared.

Finding connection and understanding was invaluable, but we also didn’t realize how unhelpful some of it was, especially when we were still learning: inadvertantly triggering ourselves by going too fast, exposing too much too soon, and activating parts of our system we weren’t even aware of yet.

We mentioned some books and other media already in Question #20.5, but I’m not super interested in seeking out DID-specific entertainment as much anymore. I don’t like how much of it is presented, and even media I like gets me riled up with incorrect or exaggerated information.

Plus, so much content about DID is littered with so much trauma dumping, near-pornographic descriptions of abuse, and fantastical portrayals of alters, that it’s near-impossible to read. Who is that even for, anyway? You will never find that shiz in our biz. Explanation, not exploitation, please.

***QUESTION TWENTYFIVE-and-a-HALF: When did you first hear about Dissociative Identity Disorder? Was it before or after you discovered your [multiplicity]? In what context did you hear about it?

Answered these in #8 and #8.5. And the context was always clinical. Except that one time denial tried to lead me down a distracting, dangerous, natural path. (Bad avenue. Don’t. Will explain later.)

#DissociativeIdentityDisorder #DissociationDisorders #dissociativedisorders

*** survey credits & links can be found in the original article, "A DID-ecoder Ring?" on our website. ***

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Feeling unsure, looking for non-religious support

Greetings all. I'm new here. I joined because I realize that I need to talk about my thoughts and feelings out loud but I have no "safe" place to do that. Any mention of suicide with my psychiatrist will land me back in a mental health institution and that, my friends, is a hell I will never willingly submit to again. I'm 67 years old and I began wishing I could exit the planet when I was a very young girl, around 8 or 9 years old. I was the youngest of 5 children in an extremely strict and religious household and my older brother hated me from the minute I was born. He tormented me with horrible words and physical abuse for many years. Then, when I was around 8 or 9, he added sexual violence to his arsenal and I had to live with that terror for another 3 years or so. One day (I was probably 9) I decided I couldn't stand the pain and I tried to cut my wrist. My mother found me and punished me severely. She kept the situation secret from my father and other siblings and I received no medical or psychological help. Ever since then I've lived with suicide thoughts, not constantly but quite frequently. I learned how to hide my depression and to most folks around me I am certain that I seemed like a normal, successful person. My late husband knew, though, about my suicidal wishes, and he did everything he could to love and support me (we were married for 32 years). Now that he is gone, and I have no human relationships that are close enough or strong enough to offset the suicide desires, I'm seriously considering following through. I have initiated contact with a VAD clinic in Switzerland and am in the middle of going through their application process. But I'm finding that at times I am torn about the decision. I know that I'm not going to get any physically healthier...it's pretty much all downhill from here, and I'm terrified of being so alone and needing help with my care. I have no one at all to help me, so I would have to find and pay for assistance if I have an issue (like total knee replacement). The biggest thing for me, though, is that I miss my husband so much. He died 2 years ago and though the grief is more tolerable now than it was, I still yearn for him acutely. I suspect that the moments of "doubt" I'm having are based on the biological imperative of my brain trying to keep me alive, rather than on any sort of logical thoughts. Sorry this is so long...hoping someone might be able to relate.

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How Triggers Impact Everyday Life with PTSD

I have scoured books, read so many survivor stories, and taken so many college classes just trying to understand how it is that a roommate of only a few months can still cause so many flashbacks years later. Just one selfish terror of a person can leave someone so jumpy and angry years after they not only have been removed from my life but are even removed from life entirely of their own accord.

I know now that not everyone is going to develop a mental disorder from stressful experiences, and many will in fact, develop resilience from it. Unfortunately, I guess I'm just one of the unlucky sensitive people who got to spend most of their life as a target and gets all the fun experiences that comes with it.

I don't get the "pleasure" of having normal PTSD, but of course it is "complex"; something that develops over years of repeated traumatic experiences that I never learned to deal with and can't seem to recover from.

Every time I hear hard footsteps I panic, and I think about if I should climb out a window, or if something terrible is about to happen. I know I'm not the only one who has had to plan the times they leave their room over when someone is in the areas they are traveling to or from, but that kind of high alert is not something that can simply be turned on or off. I try to tell my nervous system that just because someone is walking hard doesn't mean that they are about to barge in your room and yell at you or start an argument with you full of verbal abuse if you dare to enter the same room they are in. My nervous system laughs at me because it has evolved over millions of years to keep me alive and it will not be reprogrammed so easily.

Unfortunately, my fear of heavy footsteps extends past one bad roommate, but includes past partners, and other roommates who had the same behavior. Of course, everyone seemed great at first while they were wearing their masks, but after they befriend you they just slowly start chopping away at your sanity and self-esteem until the same pattern repeats.

Yes, the damage to your self-esteem and agency causes you to continue to put up with bad behavior from other people that causes these problems in your life. I broke the cycle, but the wounds still remain.

#PTSDSupportAndRecovery #healingjourney

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Trauma-Informed Care: Seeing the Person, Not Just the Behaviour

By Rise Above Your Norm

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” While this saying has become common, it carries a truth we often forget. Every behaviour has a story. Every reaction has a reason. Every person deserves to be treated with dignity.

As a social worker, I have witnessed firsthand how trauma shapes lives. I have worked with children, youth, adults, and families who were often labelled as “difficult,” “manipulative,” “non-compliant,” or “attention-seeking.” Yet, when you take the time to listen, you begin to understand that these behaviours are often survival strategies developed in response to overwhelming experiences.

Trauma-informed care is not about excusing behaviour. It is about understanding behaviour.

What Is Trauma?

Trauma is an emotional, psychological, or physical response to an event—or repeated events—that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope. Trauma can result from:

– Physical abuse
– Sexual abuse
– Emotional abuse
– Domestic violence
Neglect
– Human trafficking
– Racism and discrimination
– Community violence
– Substance use within the family
– Childhood loss
– Poverty
– System involvement, including child welfare or justice systems

Not everyone experiences trauma the same way. Two people may live through the same event but respond differently depending on their age, support systems, previous experiences, and resilience.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA, 2023), trauma can have lasting effects on an individual’s mental, physical, emotional, social, and spiritual well-being.

Trauma Changes the Brain

Trauma is not simply a memory—it changes the way the brain and body function.

When someone experiences trauma, the brain becomes focused on survival.

The amygdala, responsible for detecting danger, becomes overactive.

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning, decision-making, and emotional regulation, becomes less effective during stress.

The hippocampus, which helps organize memories, may also be affected, making traumatic memories feel as though they are happening in the present.

This explains why someone may:

– Become angry quickly
– Shut down emotionally
– Dissociate
– Avoid relationships
– Misinterpret safe situations as dangerous
– Have difficulty trusting others

These are not character flaws.

They are survival responses.

What Is Trauma-Informed Care?

Trauma-informed care (TIC) is an approach that recognizes the widespread impact of trauma and responds by creating environments that promote healing rather than causing additional harm.

Instead of asking:

“What’s wrong with you?”

Trauma-informed care asks:

“What happened to you?”

Even better:

“What happened to you—and what do you need now?”

This shift changes everything.

The Six Principles of Trauma-Informed Care

SAMHSA identifies six key principles:

1. Safety

People need to feel physically and emotionally safe before healing can occur.

2. Trustworthiness and Transparency

Building trust requires honesty, consistency, and clear communication.

3. Peer Support

Healing often happens through relationships with people who have lived similar experiences.

4. Collaboration

Professionals work with people rather than making decisions for them whenever possible.

5. Empowerment, Voice, and Choice

People who have experienced trauma often had control taken away. Trauma-informed care restores dignity by giving individuals meaningful choices.

6. Cultural, Historical, and Gender Responsiveness

Trauma does not happen in isolation. Culture, colonization, racism, gender, and historical experiences all influence how trauma is experienced and healed.

Why Trauma-Informed Care Matters

When organizations fail to recognize trauma, they may unintentionally retraumatize the people they are trying to help.

Examples include:

– Using shame to change behaviour
– Isolating individuals
– Punishing emotional reactions
– Removing a person’s voice
– Threatening services
– Ignoring triggers
– Focusing only on compliance

These approaches often increase fear, mistrust, and emotional dysregulation instead of promoting healing.

Trauma-informed care asks professionals to slow down, remain curious, and respond with compassion while still maintaining appropriate boundaries and accountability.

Trauma-Informed Care in Child Welfare

Children involved with child welfare have often experienced multiple forms of trauma before entering care. Separation from family, placement changes, and uncertainty can add further stress.

Trauma-informed child welfare practice emphasizes:

– Building trusting relationships
– Maintaining predictable routines
– Supporting family connections when safe
– Listening to children’s voices
– Understanding behaviours as communication
– Collaborating with caregivers and community supports

A child who refuses to engage may not be defiant—they may be frightened.

A youth who lashes out may not be aggressive—they may be protecting themselves in the only way they have learned.

Trauma-Informed Care in Addiction

Trauma and addiction are closely connected. Many people use substances to numb emotional pain, reduce anxiety, or escape traumatic memories.

Recovery is often more successful when treatment addresses both trauma and substance use rather than focusing only on stopping the addiction.

Healing requires safety—not shame.

Healing Is Possible

Trauma changes the brain, but healing changes it too.

Research shows that supportive relationships, therapy, safe environments, emotional regulation skills, cultural connection, and hope can help rebuild neural pathways and improve well-being.

Healing is rarely linear.

Some days feel like progress.

Others feel like starting over.

But every step toward safety, connection, and self-compassion matters.

Final Thoughts

Trauma-informed care is not just a professional framework—it is a way of seeing people with humanity.

Imagine if schools, hospitals, shelters, child welfare agencies, workplaces, and justice systems all asked one simple question:

“What happened to you?”

Imagine the lives that could change.

Because behind every behaviour is a story.

Behind every story is a person.

And every person deserves the opportunity to heal.

At Rise Above Your Norm, I believe healing begins when we stop judging people’s survival strategies and start understanding the pain that created them. Trauma may shape our lives, but it does not have to define our future. With safety, compassion, connection, and hope, healing is always possible.

BigmommaJ
#traumainformedcare #MentalHealth

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How do I use hashtags effectively?

So far, I have collected the following that apply to me... (Ridiculous, I know)
#52SmallThings
#Abuse
#Addiction
#AddictionRecovery
#ADHD
#AlcoholDependence
#AlcoholUseDisorder
#Anxiety
#Arthritis
#BackPain
#BingeEatingDisorder
#bipolar2
#bipolar2disorder
#bipolardepression
#bipolardisorder
#brave
#buddhism
#bursitis
#cannabis
#cannabiscorner
#cannabisdependence
#cannabisusedisorder
#caregiving
#cbd
#chaos
#childloss
#chronicpain
#complexposttraumaticstressdisorder
#conditionguides
#cptsd
#depression
#depressivedisorders
#disability
#eatingdisorder
#eatingdisorderrecovery
#eatingdisorders
#emotionalwellbeing
#grief
#growthmindset
#healing
#healingjourney
#hope
#hospital
#hypomania
#hypothyroidismunderactivethyroiddisease
#ifyoufeelhopeless
#innerpeace
#insidethemighty
#insomnia
#journaling
#kindness
#lgbtq
#lifelessons
#loneliness
#lonely
#mania
#mentalhealth
#mentalhealthmatters
#mightyminute
#mightymoodtracking
#mightypets
#mightytogether
#mindfulness
#mooddisorders
#nicotinedependence
#obesity
#osteoarthritis
#othermentalhealth
#pain
#perimenopause
#personalgrowth
#positive
#posttraumaticstressdisorder
#programs
#psychosis
#ptsd
#recovery
#relationships
#selfcare
#selfharm
#selfharmrecovery
#selfreflection
#socialanxiety
#spoonie
#staystrong
#stimulantusedisorder
#substancerelateddisorders
#substanceusedisorders
#suicidalideation
#suicidalthoughts
#suicide
#support
#surgery
#thehealingprocess
#thoughts
#toxicfamily
#trauma
#traumarecovery
#weed

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is CautiousHorse4814. I'm here because
I believe my wife (we are separated now) may have DID. I have a MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and there have been two mental health professionals who have assessed our situation and suggested that my wife may have DID. She was the most kind and amazing woman I ever met and she stated that way until 6 weeks after we married. I had asked her if she could please turn the bedroom TV volume down a little bit because I was trying to get to sleep. She went into a 4 hour tirade against me, saying horribly hurtful things, letting me know that she had been harboring resentments about me that I had no clue about, threatening me with divorce, etc. I was in total shock and confusion. She had previously never said one unkind word to me. I cried all night and when she woke up in the morning to me in tears and I said "well, you told me that you were going to divorce me", I will never forget the look of surprise and shock that crossed her face. But, she quickly masked that surprise and just said that she would never divorce me. That was the first time of thousands of times that she would go from being my loving wife, to the most cruel person who obviously hated and resented me in an instant. It was like a light switch. And then she would change back to her good self usually after she slept. I didn't understand what I was dealing with. I am still not certain. A lot of her abuse absolutely matches with Narcissistic Abuse. But, I always had a feeling like I was married to two very different people. We moved to Mexico in 2024 and within a year, she was being extremely abusive to me more often than not. She did extremely cruel things to me. She once told me that she had created a file on me and could make me look like a criminal if my family didn't wire her $100k. But, the worst thing is that she was drugging me and having men come to our home and into our bedroom. Witnesses gave their sworn testimony that she was doing that to me as well as beating me and cutting me when I was unconscious or very impaired on the drugs she was giving me without my knowledge. I got away from her after that. I have been diagnosed with severe, acute PTSD, I have suffered terribly because of everything she did to me. We had no communication for over a year and we recently have talked and texted. I confronted her with everything she did to me and she absolutely denies it. I don't know what to think. Part of me thinks that she has DID and she doesn't remember doing it to me. Part of me thinks she is a sociopath and a malignant narcissist and she is just hoovering to try to pull me back into the abuse dynamic. It's very confusing. It's been absolutely devastating.

#MightyTogether

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But I don't like them. They hurt and are so confusing. Been told so long not to trust me, I don't. How does one learn these things? #PTSD #Abuse #Addiction #MentalHealth #Loneliness

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TWENTY: 30 Days of DID

What are some ways that identity confusion appears in your day to day life? Do you have a favorite book or TV show about or including DID?

***QUESTION TWENTY: What are some ways that identity confusion appears in your day to day life?

Like many of the answers before it: it doesn’t. Not anymore. Not like it used to, and not in the same ways.

Confusion now isn’t as much from switching with or influence from other parts, but in how we are growing as a whole, as a cohesive unit of shared skills and abilities. How our tastes have changed and matured. In how capable we’ve become.

“Who am I?” is still oft-exclaimed, not with ye olde tinge of frustration, but with surprise and awe (and a little tongue-in-cheek humor) when we say or go beyond what we ever imagined we could be or do.

***QUESTION TWENTY-and-a-HALF: Do you have a favorite book or TV show about or including DID?

One of my favorite and most relatable displays of multiplicity comes from a show that has nothing to do with Dissociative Identity Disorder: "Sense8". (And you best believe we’re writing about it.)

We recently found the box set of "United States of Tara" at a thrift store, but I wouldn’t call that show a favorite. A reasonable disappointment, maybe? Though I did think season two was the best outta three.

I’ve mostly read autobiographies ("The Flock", "When Rabbit Howls", "The Sum of My Parts"), but "Set This House in Order" by Matt Ruff was the first fictional DID book I’d read since diagnosis/recovery.

It did a decent job showing two different system manifestations, interactions, and awareness. If you read it, I will add a heavy trigger warning: We had to skip entire scenes due to explicit abuse descriptions. But, despite that, I’d read (parts of) it again.

When it comes to media, if the effects of trauma and PTSD are well-done, I’ll take that over a hinky DID depiction any day. We also prefer alternate universe, time loops, multiple selves, "Being John Malkovich"–like shiz.

And, okay, I’ll admit. I really enjoyed "Bates Motel".#DissociativeIdentityDisorder #DissociationDisorders #dissociativedisorders *** survey credits & links can be found in the original post "The Whims of Your Mind" on our website. ***

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