addictions

My last couple of months have been hell. Seems I was catching it from all sides; my family which half just doesnt understand my mental illness and the other half thinks it all in my mind, financially, my self esteem was zero, my depression was telling me to sleep non stop and that my medical issues wouldn’t get better and accept that I would die. Thank God that phase had passed when I woke up today.
I’m felling positive, don’t care if others understand me or not, I am who I am and at least i know it. But my mental illness has a way of making me feel like it’s the end of the world when in reality “Things are never as bad as they seem” and thanks so much for this site, the one place where I can truly be who I am and not be judged or have to wear that damn mask. #CheckInWithMe #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #addictions

#SeperationAnxiety #Dogs #BPD #addictions

I have no idea if this has anything to do with my BPD but without a doubt it is intertwined with my co-occuring addictions. I am addicted to my nurturing my two dogs. To being their caregiver, their number one, their favourite person, their Mama. They are attached to me like velcro and it was the same with my late dog Henry, (RIP sweet boy) where no one else mattered but me. It was such a beautiful feeling to be loved so intensely and unconditionally. I know some people are thinking "Duh", quite obviously every animal is (usually) ok obsessed with their owner- but I know that they love me as much as they do, because no one could possibly love them as much as I do. Their happiness means everything to me, so I believe my separation anxiety stems from the emotional upset it causes me knowing they are sad in my absence. I hate the thought of them frantically searching for me, thinking I've left them, or waiting and waiting for my return. So many people don't understand what I go through when they say, "No dogs." These are my children. My babies. My emotional support. I'm on my way to a BBQ with my bf and a few others, where the dogs could easily have come without it causing any issue but it's just easier for everyone to assume they should be left behind. *Sigh* I wrote this because I was trying to fight off my tears and safe face around everyone else. It helped but it still sucks. It's very difficult for me to shake off this mood I'm in now. And THAT I know is my BPD 😉

#MentalHealth

This is my second day off sugar. Yep, I used to sit down and eat a whole tub of Ben and Jerry's ice cream save for one scoop. I've been doing this since last year and I'm afraid it's caught up with me. I feel like I have pre-diabetes (again). Yesterday was day one- I got dizzy, felt confused and nearly passed out. When my anxiety is really bad I'll just eat sugar nonstop. Gummy worms, ice cream, chocolate. Ive had to quit cold turkey before and I'll do it again. I quit everything cold turkey. Just another addiction that needs controlling 😔 #addictions #Anxiety #AnxietyDisorders

This past few days of family visiting, no phones at the meal time tables. Just good conversations & personal sharing of stories. 😚
#52SmallThings

I am really struggling with my somewhat new diagnosis of borderline (late April) and my process addictions and I feel so incredibly alone. I’ve been going to 12 steps for a while but have never felt comfortable to share about my BPD in any of my meetings. I also don’t feel connected to people in my meetings so when i’m struggling I never reach out. Does anyone that also suffers with borderline and addictions interested in talking sometime? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #addictions #Support

I am really struggling with my somewhat new diagnosis of borderline (late April) and my process addictions and I feel so incredibly alone. I’ve been going to 12 steps for a while but have never felt comfortable to share about my BPD in any of my meetings. I also don’t feel connected to people that my meetings so when i’m struggling I never reach out. Does anyone that also suffers with borderline and addictions interested in talking sometime? I need support as I feel so alone all the time and thankful for this app to shar#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder # Processaddictions #addictions #Support