Seperation anxiety from my dogs
#SeperationAnxiety #Dogs #BPD #addictions
I have no idea if this has anything to do with my BPD but without a doubt it is intertwined with my co-occuring addictions. I am addicted to my nurturing my two dogs. To being their caregiver, their number one, their favourite person, their Mama. They are attached to me like velcro and it was the same with my late dog Henry, (RIP sweet boy) where no one else mattered but me. It was such a beautiful feeling to be loved so intensely and unconditionally. I know some people are thinking "Duh", quite obviously every animal is (usually) ok obsessed with their owner- but I know that they love me as much as they do, because no one could possibly love them as much as I do. Their happiness means everything to me, so I believe my separation anxiety stems from the emotional upset it causes me knowing they are sad in my absence. I hate the thought of them frantically searching for me, thinking I've left them, or waiting and waiting for my return. So many people don't understand what I go through when they say, "No dogs." These are my children. My babies. My emotional support. I'm on my way to a BBQ with my bf and a few others, where the dogs could easily have come without it causing any issue but it's just easier for everyone to assume they should be left behind. *Sigh* I wrote this because I was trying to fight off my tears and safe face around everyone else. It helped but it still sucks. It's very difficult for me to shake off this mood I'm in now. And THAT I know is my BPD 😉