I heard someone say recently if you haven't got your mental health you haven't got anything - so sadly true. 😔 18 years on its still the same.
No motivation for any little thing as always as everything is hard.
Felt suicidal today, to mentally ill and sensitive to work full time, I have done before and just adds to long life bad experiences of getting hated for no reason in various places. To this day I think about all those people who had a problem 6 years on. I can't even put the dishes in the dish washer every day without finding it hard to so today they are sat on the side. I havent washed all week either as that's a struggle.
I can't stand being poor on the other side of things, I am 30 and don't own a home or have a mortgage and need braces for my teeth and laser treatment for my stomach with stretch marks on top to bottom and do have a bit of debt. I have saved and tried before but end up giving up as its too hard these days to get anywhere like really stupidly tough. Why does things have to get worse financially for everyone slowly over time unless a millionaire. No wonder people are depressed living in poverty with little to no hope.
With it all being too hard to get anywhere these days life isn't worth living. This thought is on my mind 24 7, 24 7, 24 7. For years in been depressed about it all.
It's hard to explain to a strong hardworking person who can cope I suppose. The best way to describe it is like being a butterfly that just can't no matter how hard they try seem to survive.
If Barbi were a real human being she would have to walk on all fours because her body measurements are so disproportionate!
Struggling
#Depression #Anxiety #bodydismorphia #fat #lonely
The feelings are all consuming, I'm lonely, im depressed, im fat, im depressed because of chronic pain and it makes me fat , i want to exercise but its painful. I wanna scream, i wanna cry instead I just curl up into a ball and try to shut everything out.
It took me a long time to adjust to my body after my medications added on some weight. I never liked my image growing up, a normal thing to deal with, though made worse by back handed compliments and forward insults about what I looked like from my family and bullies. I cared a bit less after having kids, as my priorities changed from myself to family needs, but I was always close to 130lbs in all those years.
I got on a multitude of prescriptions and my high activity level decreased as my health declined, and my weight plateaued at about 200lbs. My clothes didn't fit right anymore, any toning was gone, and my diet made no difference. This was also the time I was "put" back on the dating market.
With poor health, kids, and being on the heavier size, I didn't see myself as anything useful or valuable. But my new/current SO has spent the past years helping to fix that, and I have settled into being mostly comfortable in my skin...until now.
My medications were altered, my exercise has been cautiously upped, and my diet heavily restricted all due to my health taking a plunge off the deep end. My weight going down with it.
It's wrecking havoc on my mental state in terms of my self-image and, honestly, my pain levels. The more it drops, the more my pain has flared. It isn't a health weight loss, it adds weakness, dizziness and nausea more than usual to my days. I just adjusted to my size, now I'm changing shape again and don't recognize it in the mirror correctly. I'm so hungry.
Yet I've gotten more comments on my appearance than I have in years.
"Are you losing weight? You look great!"
"Look at you! Someone needs to go out on a date!"
"This is good for your health, you're going to feel better!"
And every time I well up with tears. I am not trying to look this way. I may lose more food from my diet if not entirely soon. I'm missing out on family dinners and feel like I'm being teased when everyone in the car can order food but I have to take a pill and drink my water and endure the smells. I don't feel good, I hurt and want my food back. I don't feel like me.
Once so far, at someone I knew, and she knew I was in declining health, I snapped back, "Thanks, it's called not eating!" And yet her reply was to smile, nod, and say she should try some of that then. Already upset, and with family with an anorexic past, it made me angry.
Stop complimenting my smaller size. I know it's meant in kindness, but the way I am losing it is not healthy, and it's left me in a mess trying to recognize my changing body.
#WeightLoss #Unhealthy #bodydismorphia #Depression #DietChange #confused #stressed #supportsystem #ChronicIllness #gastrointestinal #Vent
Does anyone else struggle with this after abuse? Especially sexual abuse. I do not think I’m pretty and I’m disgusted by my body. I’ve also dealt with emotional abuse. #Trauma
I struggle with binge eating disorder. It has been a secret in my life from childhood. I’m finally pushing aside the guilt, shame, and embarrassment to get help. My counselor has been incredible dealing with my other mental health issues, but is struggling to understand my eating disorder.
I’m not sure how to go about explaining it to her for more understanding.
Any suggestions?
How do you describe your experiences with it?
#BingeEatingDisorder #DisorderedEating #AnxietyDisorder #Depression #bodydismorphia
Ugh just tried to get ready to go out to go for a walk and just look crap and fat in all clothes cant wear cropped because of a full stomach of stretch marks. What can someone like me wear who has to cover up. So I just stayed in. 🤨 that and I'm 36e uk bust size, damn weight just want to hit myself to feel better. #Depression #bodydismorphia
Is depressing when I cant wear crop tops because of all my Stretch marks, it may sound silly to some but they are that bad I still haven't got over them for the past 12 years. Always feel like the only one with such extreme amounts, its something that's always on my mind.
My immune system is compromised so we’ve been very cautious. Today makes our 50th day at home. In all 15 years of his life I’ve never seen him like this. He is defiant, he has lied about school work. For the 1st 3 weeks in April he didn’t do any school work but he was sitting at our dining room table with his laptop open from 9-1 everyday. I started receiving phone calls last week from teachers & administrators asking if there was a problem. This week I’ve been checking in with him about catching up on his work and not forgetting to do newly assigned work. Tonight he snapped and started punching his face in hopes to knock himself out. He scared his 10 year old brother into tears. He then told me that, he wishes he wasn’t here and he also hates the way he looks. He thinks he is fat. That part was almost laughable because the boy looks like he is a model. He’s definitely not over weight. As a matter of fact at his recent 15 year old annual doctors visit the doctor noticed he lost 9 pounds and questioned him because he’s not at all overweight. He’s a tall 5,10 inch young man who’s runs track when high school was open. He also said he thought about running away. I asked him where he would go because everything everywhere is closed & if he decided to visit a friend those parents would contact me because they know we are really careful about this pandemic. My son is a very personable outgoing fun, funny, caring boy. I’m literally scared to sleep for the fear of him doing something harmful. What should I do ?#teendepression #bodydismorphia #Selfharm
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