bpdlife

Why are people so ashamed of saying they have bpd? Is it because how they will be treated by others? Or the way you will treat yourself differently knowing you don't have to hide who you are. Accept your life the way it is and learn different ways to cope with your inabilities. Say I have Bpd and this is my life!

Hi, my name is Ashley, and I have suspected that I have BPD for the last 10 years. I would read and read about BPD and felt it was describing everything I feel daily. After 3 years of psychiatry and 5 months of therapy, with misdiagnosed depression and anxiety, I finally got my official BPD diagnosis! With a few others... so here goes:

BPD
OCD
PTSD
Social Anxiety

For some reason I just feel so relieved to have gotten my diagnosis. Its like all these years I had no idea how to help myself because I couldn't explain why I felt the way I did, or what I was doing wrong. Now that I know I suffer with BPD it gives me so much hope that I can get better! Its also great for meeting others who can relate and be part of a little community that helps one another. I start DBT next week (we were working on combating the PTSD at first, but based on my emotional distress in our session yesterday, my therapist outlined my diagnoses clearly for me. It was shocking but also not shocking. Just such a relief!!

#BPD #bpdlife #OCD #PTSD #SocialAnxiety #BorderlineStigma #BPDDiagnosis

𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡

I wish I didn’t feel like I’m a burden to you.
I wish I didn’t have trouble believing you when you say that you care about me, because I perceive some of your actions otherwise.
I wish I didn’t lay on the floor crying and screaming at the top of my lungs so that my neighbors would ask me if I’m okay when they saw me.
I wish I didn’t drive around town on a regular basis with hot tears rolling down my cheeks.
I wish I didn’t have bruises on my arms from inflicting physical pain as a way of decreasing my emotional pain.
I wish I didn’t need constant reassurance that you’re not mad at me.
I wish I didn’t remember almost every bad thing you’ve done or said to me.
I wish I didn’t feel emotions so freaking intensely.
I wish I didn’t think of suicide so many times a day.
I wish I didn’t feel the need to turn to strong drugs as a way of drowning out my deep emotional anguish.
I wish I didn’t cry myself to sleep on most nights.
I wish I didn’t fall asleep in the embrace of my own hug – as a way to provide some comfort to myself.
I wish I didn’t fantasize about not waking up the next morning.
I wish I didn’t wake up in the morning thinking “why am I still alive”.
I wish you’d accept my compliments because I always mean it.
I wish my life didn’t feel so painfully unbearable.

I wish you didn’t have to feel like you’re walking on eggshells every time you speak to me.
I wish your comments wouldn’t trigger such intense emotional responses.
I wish you’d understand that I don’t trust easily, so when I say I trust you – I mean it.
I wish you’d accept my compliments because they're always genuine.
I wish you’d reach out to me more frequently.
I wish you’d check up on me from time to time.
I wish you’d care about me half as much as I care about you.

And above all,

What I truly wish for ……is not to suffer from BPD

by: BPDBravery Borderline Personality Disorder #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EUPD #bpdwarrior #bpdlife #Bpdstruggles #bpdsurvivor

I’ve been going through an up and down battle I’ve been diagnosed with BPD at first I was ok with it I didn’t think anything of it until one day last month I had a very bad out anger moment towards my fiancé because of this we are on a separation even harder to go through on top of ruining a friendship all because my friend has BPD and was trying to help I got very angry and was very mean towards her and pushed her away, we have since repaired our friendship and are stronger then we were before I really don’t know where I’d be without her especially through a brake down a break up and starting a new medication I have had a lot of really downs and really highs I’m all new to this and sometimes it scary when you feel like your in the battle alone and always have the fear of abandonment #bpdlife #Reachoutforsupport #Alwaysabattle

I call him Agape which means love in Greek. While I was explaining my therapist why I like him in all the words which I couldn’t stop coming out of my mouth (vague and going in different directions), my therapist said “he feels like home”. Yes he does!! He makes my mind less cloudy. He helps me learn about me more. Today he knew when I was getting triggered before I even knew it myself. I am not even sure if this is real. Can this really be happening? I have had such bad taste in men. How did I pick this guy? Is he real for sure? But I am hurting him...with my bpd issues. I am sharing too much and I don’t know how to stop. He’s already hurting from his old relationships, I am pretty sure I will make it worse. I am all the time triggered by everything around me...how the hell am I going to get normal. After finding him, I so wish to be normal. Can’t I just be normal for him?. #bpdlife #Borderlinerelationships