brothers

My only sibling. My older brother, Matt. Addict. Alcoholic. CPTSD. Arrest #43 . A Career Criminal with a new Assault charge now deeming him a “Violent Offender”. Likely to send him to Prison to serve some real time for his 6 year sentence. Last time he went to Prison he served 12 days as a “Non-Violent” due to overcrowding & a lack of $$. He didn’t look anything like this 10 years ago -not until he had his breakdown. Beat me to it. This is what drinking a Handle of Vodka every 1-2 days & shooting heroine or anything he get into a syringe will do to a Life. Shred it. Filled his kid’s hearts with hopelessness of ever having a “Daddy” who’ll take care of them. No, Daddy’s drugs are always 1st. Now he’s repeated our family’s cycle becoming a version of “Our Monster”. He’s a Tornado who breaks my heart over & over again. I know he suffered greatly too & uses substances to numb his deep pain & terrifying rage. He got the gene for this Disease that traps his Soul. We have a very complex relationship. I love him as much as I hate him or what this Disease has done to him & us all. I’m not sure anymore?? Arrest #43 . Will this be rock bottom?? I have no expectations. I can’t. They kill me. If there are any doubts of what Addiction will do to a person; Look deeply into his blackened but once beautiful green eyes, his sallow & yellowed skin, his rage filled frown yet so full of pain. I can tell he’s about to cry. Me too. This is the slow & torturous journey of a dead man walking. Unless he chooses Sobriety; He will die. Gone. I’m more likely to become an Astronaut than he is to choose Sobriety. I am preparing myself for his death. I will give him a Memorial Service. No one else in our Greek Tragedy of a so-called Family will. His Life is & was NOT worthless!!! THIS IS THE REALITY OF AWFUL ADDICTION. Just hold on (R.E.M.). Please stay alive, MdeNF! Maybe you’ll see better days?? See your kids again?? I love you, always have & always will, your baby sister ~KdeNF 💔

I wrote this poem for a friend of mine. Today is the anniversary of his brother's death from a drug overdose.......

Today I sit and think of you
As I do throughout each year;
Your memory lives on in my heart
And flows down each cheek in tears.

Life was harsh and proved too much
For you to win it's battle;
But the war I'm still here fighting
To help others whose cage was rattled.

You were my brother, protector & my friend
Forever through and through;
Your time on earth was cut too short
When you left us for life anew.

My comfort comes from knowing that
You're watching over me;
And until it's time to meet again
May you continue to rest in peace.

By: Debra Brent
04/19/2019

#MightyPoets #Addiction #GoneTooSoon #overdose #brothers #Friends #RestInPeace #poems #Poetry