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It’s been a while
I’m about to get really, really raw with you guys.
I believe in my core that it is so important to share our experiences, pain, struggles, joy, laughter, and faith. Our demons thrive in silence- reach out, speak out, and advocate for yourself and others. 🎗️
Hi, my name is Bri
I don’t remember a time I wasn’t sick. I was born with a heart condition, Mitral Valve Prolapse Regurgitation. Growing up I wasn’t allowed to play sports, run, do anything that would increase my heart rate.
Because of this I fell in love with theater and singing. Unfortunately, life had other plans and during my high school debut in a theater production I ended up throwing up down one of my classmates back as he carried me off stage. I was diagnosed with mono, strep, and bronchitis at the same time. This would become the beginning of my true health journey.
My grades would slip, I would miss school to be in the hospital. I became truant. It got to the point that was I was referred to oncologist after oncologist trying to find out what cancer I had.
And in 2019 I lost my ability to walk. More tests. Finally, it was discovered that it wasn’t cancer but a rare autoimmune disease- Lupus (SLE).
Have you ever felt the ground be stripped from beneath you? Literally?
I had no choice but to put my faith in a God that I didn’t believe in. I was angry. I was confused. I was in pain.
One day I was reading John 5 and I came across the lame man by the pool where Jesus asked if the man wanted to be healed. And John 5:8 says “rise, take up your bed, and walk”. It was that verse that pushed me harder than any physical therapist and pushed me to regain my strength in my legs to walk again.
#livingwithlupus sucks. It tests every organ, every system, every ounce of patience, and strips you to your core until you are on your knees praying for relief.
And sometimes it never comes.
I think the double-edged sword is, I don’t “look” sick. People expect me to perform and be on the exact same level if not better than all my peers. But I “am” sick. My body needs rest. It needs to not have seizures from stress. Lupus is an invisible illness for me, yet I proudly wear it on my sleeve. 💜
God has been faithful through every trial. I trust His hand through it all [now]. And no, that faith hasn’t always been easy.
“Do you know what God calls an angry prayer?”
“A prayer.”
-The Hell Of It, A Week Away, the Series
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