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The Loop In My Brain Goes Round & Round, Round & I'm Tired!

I'm trying to relearn to think for myself and unlearn that the only thing that mattered was my mother and if she was talking to me or not. I took care of the three narcissist in my life! So who was going to take care of me? Answer is, Nobody took care of me! And Nobody did an awful job making me feel safe, secure and loved. And years later I'm stuck in a loop that replays what I remember from age 2 ish until my mother disowned me at 34 and my divorce from a narcissistic abusive both physically and mentally, ex were both out of my life! And now I only remember the bad! Almost all of it is coming out, now that I'm in therapy! All day, when my mind is stuck in the loop, I replay every bad thing everyone has done to me! I'm trying to cut the tape!!!!! #conquer the mind #PTSD #CPTSD #MDD #Anxiety

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Joy! #conquer Your Mind# Anxiety #Bipolar #Depression

For many years, I have had some sort of reason that I was really unstable. Now that I've been stable for two years, I am trying to focus on what brings me joy! The Mighty brings me extreme joy because I have met my supportive best friend on it. I am working on what other things bring joy to my heart. What brings joy into your life? How do you keep that joy going?

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#TheMighty : #keep #Walking #conquer #TheMind

Just a random thought shared today. As we walk through life we will encounter the mountain top’s peaks along with the depths of the valleys. Both locations have positive and negative effects. But the goal is to keep walking. As you progress, progress by noticing the beauty that is present during each step. Looking ahead is nice, but this can distract from focusing on your current terrain. Looking behind can serve a purpose, but…you are beyond that point. So simply keep moving forward, for #TheMighty #keep #Walking !❤️

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#conquer Your Mind’s #TBI induced #Anxiety #CPTSD #PTSD and #Depression

Wow! Sorry, this is longer than expected.

Hey, #mighty folks! I just faced a major unexpected issue! Last month I registered for a required intensive math course. However, I learned my financial aid (FA) was drastically reduced AFTER the class started. So, I dropped the course because I do not have extra cash to pay for a “rigorous” required math course. I am on a medical leave from work while recovering from a brain injury, and paying for a math course…ah…👎…need I say more???

Anyway, today I learned I missed the reimbursement deadline and I now OWE the university $500.00!!! What??? I nearly freaked out when I happened upon that balance. Note, I never received one notification telling me of this outstanding balance. Crazy.

So, after seeing this unexpected bill, I called the school’s FA department. I was instructed to contact another office. Then I had to submit an appeal application. Thankfully, I was able to include my physician’s documents confirming my diagnosis and medical leave. And once all of that was completed, I stood and looked around my small room, amazed. Why amazed???

Because I realized I had just faced a serious issue but….😮….I did not:
- collapse into a pool of tears,
- plummet into a deep depression,
- jump on an exercise bike due to my
typical EXTREME anxiety levels,
- I did not ridicule or insult myself
with typical negative comments
about not being successful
- I did not drift off into a deep sleep
because the issue is just too hard
to face.

No! I did none of the above!!! This time, I faced the incident, addressed it, completed the necessary steps, and am content with waiting to see the outcome. Yay!!!😃!!! The only symptom I did experience was an upset stomach; prior to this spontaneous event, my stomach was fine. However, that upset stomach was the only lasting TBI fueled anxiety symptom I encountered today during that unexpected problem. Six weeks ago, I know I would NOT have been able to face this setback without being gravely impacted by severe anxiety, guilt, shame, depression, and defeat-filled thoughts taking control over my mind.

Today’s event caused only ONE swift reaction: I hoped on #TheMighty app to share this experience!!!😄❤️😁!!!

Your shared stories have helped me learn how to face life without viewing EVERYTHING through the lens of #Anxiety , #CPTSD , #Fear , #Guilt , and #TBISurvivor ’s #PTSD ! Wow!!! Thank you for this platform!❤️

And honestly, after typing my original message, I switched screens (on my phone) to find a photo to add to the post, but my entire message was lost. I guess you cannot switch between apps or save a post (or make edits) on this platform. Believe me, the original message was shorter as it captured my concise sheer initial delight!❤️

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#Insomnia or Awake After Enjoying The Day? #Perspective Matters ❤️

Wow! What a day! I really had fun today, well, yesterday. I went outdoors and enjoyed a day of exploring my local area! This has been a hard task during the past six months. But????? Why I am still awake at 4:00AM? I don’t have a clue. But once again, no worries, I am simply enjoying this quiet time of the day. And I think it is because I am finally embracing my medical leave because of this breakthrough.

Two days ago, I woke and my mind was flipping thoughts like crazy! I tried to pray but my thoughts kept shifting; this is my new norm I often experience after sustaining my fifth concussion a year ago. But this time, as my thoughts flipped from one thing to the other, I had a thought: write each of your thoughts down. So I did. And within five minutes, I had recorded nearly twenty thoughts!!! And after writing every one my thoughts and feelings, which lasted twenty minutes, I was exhausted but….RELIEVED!!! 😁

So, I feel as if a new me has emerged from that moment on! The multiple thoughts stemmed from me viewing other’s lives on social media sites. But those thoughts faded after I jotted them down, in real time. Why? Because I realized, once I wrote down each anxious thought, how those thoughts and feelings were all based on comparisons: me comparing my life to posted photos of others, which are really my assumptions of other people’s lives. And those comparisons and assumptions have led me into a maze of fractured emotional thoughts AND anxiety.

Therefore, shortly after listing those many thoughts, I started enjoying my day. And now, after today’s fun activities, I am still awake because I am not emotionally overwhelmed from wasting time lamenting over my real life compared to posted snapshots of other people’s lives. Remember, those comparisons and assumptions are based on ONE SECOND of a person’s life captured by a camera.😉! But most importantly, those comparisons and assumptions are deceiving and very deceptive.

So, I will now address such thinking, instantly, before succumbing to the negative emotions that accompany my deceptive assumptions and comparisons. We are not on this earth to live like others. No! Instead, we are here to be our #unique selves impacting lives we encounter with our special personalities, skills, and talents.❤️

#BeYourself #conquer your #mindset , for you ARE #TheMighty person #created for #good #works !

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“I Have #Insomnia , But…” How #TheMighty #conquer #TheMind

It’s 3:00AM and I’ve been awake since 12:30AM after falling asleep around 8:00PM.

Normally, I am flipping like a fish in bed when this happens. This is because, I typically wake due to anxious thoughts. Then I have anxious energy because I cannot understand why I am wide awake after four hours of sleep. Then I get frustrated, and stressed out, because I SHOULD be sleeping right now! And then my mind freaks out because it is full of anxiety due to my anxious thoughts that anxiously stirred me awake. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫!!! Ugh!

Crazy, right?

Well during today’s insomnia, I approached it differently. First, I realized my body felt well rested, despite the time. Then I watched something I wanted to see. I looked out the window and saw snow falling. I realized I do not have one thing scheduled today, well, later today. And finally, I figured I can rest in bed, in the quiet, and check-in with folks via this site and others.

So, yes, I am dealing with insomnia early this morning, but….it’s okay. I am so relaxed right now, I am starting to yawn. That’s a good thing.

Taking the stress out of the stressful.

#Anxiety #Selfcare #Happiness #mindset

*Photo credit (Internet search for insomnia image): “The Atlantic.”

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Morning Anxiety? 🤔 💡 Guilt Relief! 🤩 #change #mindset #Guilt #Anxiety #ChildhoodAnxiety

I woke early this morning with my companion called anxiety. This time, I watched a short video about overcoming guilt: I have not intentionally made the choice to do something wrong, especially not at 5:30AM. The judgement is now an acquittal! Sentence released!👏👏👏

So, I sat still in the quietness and whispered, “No! I did not choose or make a conscious choice to do this or that intentionally,” as I spoke out the memories I wrestled with by blaming myself and issuing a judgment against myself. Yes, as I type this message, it sounds like I have been the judge and jury in the courtroom of my mind, for far too long.

The understanding of self-care is possibly just starting to break through the thick clouds of guilt fueled judgment I have grown accustomed to living under. An hour latter, I had a glimpse and a released form of happiness.

#conquer #mindset

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