CPTSDinrelationships

Does anyone else with #CPTSD *and* #neurodivergent #ADHD (as opposed to trouble focusing and/or agitation due to trauma) feel like they just completely and totally suck, pretty much all of the time? Especially in your romantic relationships? Like, for me, because I have ADHD and CPTSD together, and they aren’t caused by eachother…although they do exacerbate eachother for sure…I cannot grasp the concept of object permanence. I learned about it in a psych class and then a few years later my pastor told me totally out of the blue that I never learned that concept. For me it is a complex trauma thing primarily but also probably a neurodivergent thing…I’ve heard several people with ADHD talk about literally forgetting that their friends exist when they aren’t right there. For me, between both issues, I literally cannot grasp that my boyfriend loves me if he has not told me in the past 10-15 minutes. I don’t do the clingy thing usually (although sometimes, to be fair, so usually I just withdraw and my #Depression and #Anxiety and feeling #worthless and #Unlovable get worse, until eventually I text him and tell him that I’m worried he doesn’t love me anymore. The thing is he has the same two “disorders”. CPTSD and ADHD, so he goes through the exact same thing. If I had to guess, I’d say we’re both the #disorganizedattachment aka #fearfulavoidant attachment type. I have taken a bunch of assessments and I know I am, and he basically has my brain in a male body with different but complementary likes, dislikes, and interests. Except his “toxic inner critic” manifests as “hearing voices” outside of his head, and mine manifests as several different silent “voices” of various abusers inside my head. He seems to be way more successful at tuning them out than I am though. How do I turn the enormous self hatred off? Nearly every time he tries to show me he loves me, this is a weird image but go with it…it’s like my brain pulls up some kind of drawbridge and he has to swim through this moat full of alligators to get to where I’ve withdrawn to. And I’m stuck on the dang island and I can’t get out and get to him, even though all I want is a hug. And he’s the exact same way when it comes to me. We just alternate who’s insecure when and who’s reassuring who. I just don’t know how much longer he’s going to be willing to swim through mental alligators to pull me out of my #Trauma vortex, as my SE therapist calls it.

Does anyone have suggestions on what to say to people when you need to not do things with people. I have a brother, who has cptsd as well, who doesn't understand the condition no matter how I try to explain it to him, who wants to do stuff but I cant commit to what he wants to do. I feel really bad but I also have to take care of myself. He doesn't understand and takes it as a rejection. As we with cptsd are want to do. I just dont know how else to get it across to him.
#CPTSDinrelationships #CPTSD

Honest question to my #CPTSD peeps who are in relationships. Does your partner also have #CPTSD ? #PTSD ? How do you stay present with eachother and support eachother in each of your separate recovery? I am talking to and technically dating my formerly ex-boyfriend who I broke things off with in October so we could focus on recovery and school. I am obviously in a really bad place right now and not in any position to be in a sexual relationship and believe me I’m not. We are actually both #ChildhoodSexualAbuse survivors and both of us have used sex historically in a very dysfunctional way (keeping sex and love separate) and I have set some serious boundaries with him (last time we were together, lockdown set the boundaries for me). Only *hugs* and not even hand holding until sometime AFTER I get back from treatment. He’s doing really well and has honestly been a very important figure in my life for the past week, I was very suicidal and he drew on his own experiences with suicidality and hopelessness and our shared faith in the #Christian God and he has helped me down off a very bad suicidal ledge twice now. He’s doing very well but was not doing well when I broke things off and I guess he came across my picture after I had broken it off and it gave him hope to get back into recovery even though he had no guarantees he’d ever see me again. We understand what eachother is going through and we help and somehow inspire eachother and we’ve known and liked eachother for 3 years. Most of which we were not dating. We are keeping it completely asexual although we are together romantically. We honestly don’t even hold hands or kiss. I told him we may never physically get closer than this and he still wants to be with me and only me. We’ve both been living #asexual lives for years and neither of us have any interest in rushing things or even necessarily ever getting past the hugging stage and not intimate hugs. We have had many conversations about consent over the time we’ve been a couple both before and now. He told m basically No and STOP are both complete sentences and I am completely allowed to say them at any time I’m ever uncomfortable for any reason no questions asked. He’s gentle and a literal gentleman and kind and empathetic and supportive and honestly I’m glad this is happening now BEFORE I go to treatment so it’s something I can work on IN inpatient complex trauma survivors. My safe parents and sister all approve. I actually got a very adorable lecture from my mom last night about how he and I inspire eachother.I for one know he makes me feel chosen and loved in a way I never have with anyone besides him. Any thoughts? Positive/neutral/negative?

Also any thoughts about how to deal with my fears for his life as a white woman dating a black man post 2020? He tells me not to worry but I can’t help it. This isn’t my first interracial relationship by any means but 2020 really woke me up. I’m a big #blacklivesmatter supporter and 2020 hit me hard.

I really like how people who post here put the words 'trigger warning' in their post. I just wanted to add that unfortunately I get triggered by most posts. Even those that dont really need the warning. Very often when reading a post that seems like it's a good share or positive sayings that are really helpful, I get triggered. It's a bit sad and discouraging that so many topics, good and bad, are triggers. But it's also good. Because I'm recognizing what all my triggers are (a lot) and they help see what's going on inside me and help create a better picture of my traumas, my past and my daily life.
Thank you everyone for sharing here. It means a lot to me.
#CPTSDinrelationships # cptsd

I'm trying!? The More I learn the more I understood myself and the more alone I become. I now can recognize when I get louder. I see alot of things I didn't before. My last relationship just ended. I know I am unable to have a beautiful relationship with anyone anymore. They can't seem to handle me or think I'm 🤥. I miss him but I know I can't be who he needs.# Sad and alone

#CPTSDinrelationships

I’m not doing well. My mind is everywhere and very confused. I feel rage and sadness. I feel pain all over my body. I’m so hopeless. I don’t want to be like this anymore. How can I cure CPTSD? How can I cure BPD?

Please, help me at the end of rope.